Hewitt Huntwork
@huntwork.bsky.social
BREAKING: America's Stress Balls Starting To Wonder What The Fuck Is Going On
Reposted by Hewitt Huntwork
The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on corduroys.
September 22, 2026 at 12:50 PM
The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on corduroys.
Reposted by Hewitt Huntwork
Everyone's family is different. Sometimes a family is a mom and a dad with some kids. Sometimes a family can be four teenagers; a dog; a smaller, shittier dog; and occasionally the Harlem Globetrotters.
September 21, 2026 at 11:02 PM
Everyone's family is different. Sometimes a family is a mom and a dad with some kids. Sometimes a family can be four teenagers; a dog; a smaller, shittier dog; and occasionally the Harlem Globetrotters.
It's perfectly understandable to be anti-AI. My problem with the term "AI slop" is that it's going to be weaponized against genuine things in about 5 seconds. In the near future it will be like "fake news". Shorthand for This Subject Requires No Thoughtfulness.
September 21, 2026 at 4:18 PM
It's perfectly understandable to be anti-AI. My problem with the term "AI slop" is that it's going to be weaponized against genuine things in about 5 seconds. In the near future it will be like "fake news". Shorthand for This Subject Requires No Thoughtfulness.
Reposted by Hewitt Huntwork
Milk chocolate is more chocolate than milk, but chocolate milk is more milk than chocolate. Really makes you think
September 13, 2026 at 10:36 PM
Milk chocolate is more chocolate than milk, but chocolate milk is more milk than chocolate. Really makes you think
Share one of the most obscure TV shows you can think of.
The non-Jason Bateman looking kid in the middle is Jason Bateman. I'm 99.99% certain this is not an official DVD release.
The non-Jason Bateman looking kid in the middle is Jason Bateman. I'm 99.99% certain this is not an official DVD release.
September 12, 2026 at 7:44 PM
Share one of the most obscure TV shows you can think of.
The non-Jason Bateman looking kid in the middle is Jason Bateman. I'm 99.99% certain this is not an official DVD release.
The non-Jason Bateman looking kid in the middle is Jason Bateman. I'm 99.99% certain this is not an official DVD release.
Make a band edible
Food Fighters
Fleetwood Mac N Cheese
Prince Spaghetti
Weez-Its
Death Cob For Cutie
Chewy Lewis
Poisson
Slim Jim Morrison
Hall & Quaker Oats
Saturated Fats Domino
The Nacho Supremes
Simon And Garlic
The Dave Clark Bar
Katy Peri-Peri
M&M
The Veggie Platters
The Scone Roses
Food Fighters
Fleetwood Mac N Cheese
Prince Spaghetti
Weez-Its
Death Cob For Cutie
Chewy Lewis
Poisson
Slim Jim Morrison
Hall & Quaker Oats
Saturated Fats Domino
The Nacho Supremes
Simon And Garlic
The Dave Clark Bar
Katy Peri-Peri
M&M
The Veggie Platters
The Scone Roses
Make a band edible
Ragu Against The Machine
(also works for ‘change a letter, ruin a band’)
Ragu Against The Machine
(also works for ‘change a letter, ruin a band’)
Make a band edible
Bread Zeppelin
Bread Zeppelin
September 12, 2026 at 2:46 AM
Make a band edible
Food Fighters
Fleetwood Mac N Cheese
Prince Spaghetti
Weez-Its
Death Cob For Cutie
Chewy Lewis
Poisson
Slim Jim Morrison
Hall & Quaker Oats
Saturated Fats Domino
The Nacho Supremes
Simon And Garlic
The Dave Clark Bar
Katy Peri-Peri
M&M
The Veggie Platters
The Scone Roses
Food Fighters
Fleetwood Mac N Cheese
Prince Spaghetti
Weez-Its
Death Cob For Cutie
Chewy Lewis
Poisson
Slim Jim Morrison
Hall & Quaker Oats
Saturated Fats Domino
The Nacho Supremes
Simon And Garlic
The Dave Clark Bar
Katy Peri-Peri
M&M
The Veggie Platters
The Scone Roses
You can vote for a plundering rapist
Or you can feel solemn about being attacked from without
But you can't do both
Or you can feel solemn about being attacked from without
But you can't do both
September 11, 2026 at 5:03 PM
You can vote for a plundering rapist
Or you can feel solemn about being attacked from without
But you can't do both
Or you can feel solemn about being attacked from without
But you can't do both
This was posted in response to the fact that Disney execs can't agree on how to reboot The Muppet Show, but it also may just have inadvertently solved all my problems
One hates to be formulaic, but here's a blueprint:
1. Play the music
2. Light the lights
3. Put on makeup
4. Dress up right
5. Get things started
1. Play the music
2. Light the lights
3. Put on makeup
4. Dress up right
5. Get things started
September 10, 2026 at 9:33 PM
This was posted in response to the fact that Disney execs can't agree on how to reboot The Muppet Show, but it also may just have inadvertently solved all my problems
Reposted by Hewitt Huntwork
Nations’ Cigar Smokers Announce Plans to Look Stupid and Smell Like Shit
thehardtimes.net/culture/nati...
thehardtimes.net/culture/nati...
Nations’ Cigar Smokers Announce Plans to Look Stupid and Smell Like Shit
SARATOGA SPRINGS, N.Y — Local cigar smoker Charles Morley and his group of male friends who look and act exactly like him... Continue this tale
thehardtimes.net
September 9, 2026 at 11:00 PM
Nations’ Cigar Smokers Announce Plans to Look Stupid and Smell Like Shit
thehardtimes.net/culture/nati...
thehardtimes.net/culture/nati...
Reposted by Hewitt Huntwork
This is the most accurate, hilarious, depressing thing I've read today.
September 9, 2026 at 2:57 AM
This is the most accurate, hilarious, depressing thing I've read today.
Downgrade a movie:
Star Spats
Star Spats
downgrade a movie:
Terminator 2: Pretty Close to Making a Decision Day
Terminator 2: Pretty Close to Making a Decision Day
downgrade a movie:
they day the earth slowed down for a moment
they day the earth slowed down for a moment
September 6, 2026 at 3:22 AM
Downgrade a movie:
Star Spats
Star Spats
Reposted by Hewitt Huntwork
Right-size Scotus and declare their rulings void. Enforce the constitutional edict against insurrectionists holding office. Overturn all their work. Demolish their buildings. Money out of politics. Nazis out of government. Cancel all Musk contracts; seize his property for a global restitution fund.
September 5, 2026 at 1:39 PM
Right-size Scotus and declare their rulings void. Enforce the constitutional edict against insurrectionists holding office. Overturn all their work. Demolish their buildings. Money out of politics. Nazis out of government. Cancel all Musk contracts; seize his property for a global restitution fund.
Reposted by Hewitt Huntwork
My man looks like a maitre'd who deeply doubts you have a reservation
August 30, 2026 at 9:30 PM
My man looks like a maitre'd who deeply doubts you have a reservation
If you see this, post your getaway vehicle
August 29, 2026 at 2:40 AM
If you see this, post your getaway vehicle
Reposted by Hewitt Huntwork
I will be deadnaming the lake
August 28, 2026 at 3:34 AM
I will be deadnaming the lake
"Greatest Hits" is funny. It implies the existence of lesser hits that, while great, simply could not be included on this CD
August 28, 2026 at 2:19 AM
"Greatest Hits" is funny. It implies the existence of lesser hits that, while great, simply could not be included on this CD
The 80s had all the best songs about losin' control.
August 28, 2026 at 1:09 AM
The 80s had all the best songs about losin' control.
Name your favorite Disney princess (wrong answers only).
August 23, 2026 at 6:37 PM
Name your favorite Disney princess (wrong answers only).
What's your favorite Bible verse? Wrong answers only.
August 21, 2026 at 2:28 AM
What's your favorite Bible verse? Wrong answers only.
Reposted by Hewitt Huntwork
When Joe Biden was elected we cheered in the streets. We thought it was over. Not a day goes by that I don’t think that this is somehow a nightmare.
To think that he was re elected after all that he did is still a very hard thing to accept.
You’re not alone
To think that he was re elected after all that he did is still a very hard thing to accept.
You’re not alone
August 18, 2026 at 4:42 PM
When Joe Biden was elected we cheered in the streets. We thought it was over. Not a day goes by that I don’t think that this is somehow a nightmare.
To think that he was re elected after all that he did is still a very hard thing to accept.
You’re not alone
To think that he was re elected after all that he did is still a very hard thing to accept.
You’re not alone
Reposted by Hewitt Huntwork
stupid accusative
goddamn ablative
bullshit vocative
asshole genitive
goddamn ablative
bullshit vocative
asshole genitive
fucking dative
August 12, 2026 at 3:58 PM
stupid accusative
goddamn ablative
bullshit vocative
asshole genitive
goddamn ablative
bullshit vocative
asshole genitive
A childhood friend thought the opening line of Oh Sherrie by Steve Perry was not YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN GONE but rather CINNAMON GUM
Name your fav mondegreen or misheard lyric.
August 9, 2026 at 3:47 PM
A childhood friend thought the opening line of Oh Sherrie by Steve Perry was not YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN GONE but rather CINNAMON GUM
Downplay a book or movie:
On Her Majesty's Secret Santa
On Her Majesty's Secret Santa
Downplay a book or movie:
A View To An Ill
A View To An Ill
Downplay a book or movie:
Mild Mild West
Mild Mild West
August 2, 2026 at 5:39 PM
Downplay a book or movie:
On Her Majesty's Secret Santa
On Her Majesty's Secret Santa
Arrest this genie all you want there's no lamp that can hold him
July 28, 2026 at 2:22 AM
Arrest this genie all you want there's no lamp that can hold him