jackson henry
@jasonemry.bsky.social
my high bowling score is 300 so my opinions pack a certain gravitas
Pinned
THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF FUCKING-GOATS-ISN'T-DISQUALIFYING
September 15, 2026 at 4:09 PM
THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF FUCKING-GOATS-ISN'T-DISQUALIFYING
flies are the worst hosts always "You want some more turds?" like super no still, dude
September 15, 2026 at 12:02 AM
flies are the worst hosts always "You want some more turds?" like super no still, dude
and you can have it agree with you about any movie or show
god the serotonin blast
god the serotonin blast
the craziest part about AI is sometimes you'll be like "Which way is North?" and it'll say "Directly down!" and you'll be like "Hang on a sec." and then it's all "Great catch, boss! My bad!" *slaughters school filled with children*
September 14, 2026 at 11:14 PM
and you can have it agree with you about any movie or show
god the serotonin blast
god the serotonin blast
the craziest part about AI is sometimes you'll be like "Which way is North?" and it'll say "Directly down!" and you'll be like "Hang on a sec." and then it's all "Great catch, boss! My bad!" *slaughters school filled with children*
September 14, 2026 at 11:13 PM
the craziest part about AI is sometimes you'll be like "Which way is North?" and it'll say "Directly down!" and you'll be like "Hang on a sec." and then it's all "Great catch, boss! My bad!" *slaughters school filled with children*
maybe we don't do capital punishment to maga after the trials
but that thing where the joker makes people fight to the death with a broken pool cue feels apropos
but that thing where the joker makes people fight to the death with a broken pool cue feels apropos
September 14, 2026 at 8:02 PM
maybe we don't do capital punishment to maga after the trials
but that thing where the joker makes people fight to the death with a broken pool cue feels apropos
but that thing where the joker makes people fight to the death with a broken pool cue feels apropos
"I'm so sorry this never happens. I should go, right?"
I like to procrastinate to the point where I almost don't come
then I show up early all sweaty and out of breath
then I show up early all sweaty and out of breath
September 14, 2026 at 7:49 PM
"I'm so sorry this never happens. I should go, right?"
I like to procrastinate to the point where I almost don't come
then I show up early all sweaty and out of breath
then I show up early all sweaty and out of breath
September 14, 2026 at 7:48 PM
I like to procrastinate to the point where I almost don't come
then I show up early all sweaty and out of breath
then I show up early all sweaty and out of breath
shitting into your shoes isn't how you cement your standing
September 14, 2026 at 7:37 PM
shitting into your shoes isn't how you cement your standing
voting to scorch the planet and everyone on it may *TECHNICALLY* be an apolitical stance because there is no nuanced counter-position
September 14, 2026 at 7:25 PM
voting to scorch the planet and everyone on it may *TECHNICALLY* be an apolitical stance because there is no nuanced counter-position
Starship Troopers and Demolition Man hold up so hard they choke all these Marvel/DC multiverse crapfests to sleep with their dicks
September 14, 2026 at 6:35 AM
Starship Troopers and Demolition Man hold up so hard they choke all these Marvel/DC multiverse crapfests to sleep with their dicks
Pogs: The Gah-*gets hit and knocked unconscious by a roll of antique quarters*
UNO: The Gathering
Emoji: The Gathering
September 14, 2026 at 12:02 AM
Pogs: The Gah-*gets hit and knocked unconscious by a roll of antique quarters*
UNO: The Gathering
Emoji: The Gathering
September 13, 2026 at 11:53 PM
UNO: The Gathering
THE. PARTY. OF. FAMILY. VALUES.
"Would it be NICE if my representative wasn't a rapist con-man? Sure. BUT..."
-conservatism, 2026
-conservatism, 2026
September 13, 2026 at 11:34 PM
THE. PARTY. OF. FAMILY. VALUES.
democrats literally have to have illegal immigrants for arms and legs and abortions for eyes for them to be worse than the hell that has become American conservatism
they LITERALLY call their enemies anti-fascist and make up devils to justify their own worship of satan
an absolutely lost cause
they LITERALLY call their enemies anti-fascist and make up devils to justify their own worship of satan
an absolutely lost cause
"Would it be NICE if my representative wasn't a rapist con-man? Sure. BUT..."
-conservatism, 2026
-conservatism, 2026
September 13, 2026 at 11:33 PM
democrats literally have to have illegal immigrants for arms and legs and abortions for eyes for them to be worse than the hell that has become American conservatism
they LITERALLY call their enemies anti-fascist and make up devils to justify their own worship of satan
an absolutely lost cause
they LITERALLY call their enemies anti-fascist and make up devils to justify their own worship of satan
an absolutely lost cause
"Would it be NICE if my representative wasn't a rapist con-man? Sure. BUT..."
-conservatism, 2026
-conservatism, 2026
September 13, 2026 at 11:30 PM
"Would it be NICE if my representative wasn't a rapist con-man? Sure. BUT..."
-conservatism, 2026
-conservatism, 2026
not at all surprising but still utterly astonishing that, following a wretched lifetime of bullying, donald trump still has NO fucking clue how bullying actually works
somehow he’s a predator that doesn’t understand that no means yes
his brain must be studied
somehow he’s a predator that doesn’t understand that no means yes
his brain must be studied
September 13, 2026 at 11:01 PM
not at all surprising but still utterly astonishing that, following a wretched lifetime of bullying, donald trump still has NO fucking clue how bullying actually works
somehow he’s a predator that doesn’t understand that no means yes
his brain must be studied
somehow he’s a predator that doesn’t understand that no means yes
his brain must be studied
introducing dotaints
they’re somewhere between a nut and a hole
they’re somewhere between a nut and a hole
September 13, 2026 at 7:10 PM
introducing dotaints
they’re somewhere between a nut and a hole
they’re somewhere between a nut and a hole
groot: *joins axe blades*
thor: *lil hand boner*
thor: *lil hand boner*
September 13, 2026 at 4:20 AM
groot: *joins axe blades*
thor: *lil hand boner*
thor: *lil hand boner*
it's like humanity is trying to have a nice picnic and fascists keep stumbling through with poopy pants, sprinkling poop all over everyone's food, then they want hugs and high fives
history: You guys are dipshits.
nazis: Pretty sure we're superior.
history: See, that right there.
nazis: Pretty sure we're superior.
history: See, that right there.
September 13, 2026 at 2:42 AM
it's like humanity is trying to have a nice picnic and fascists keep stumbling through with poopy pants, sprinkling poop all over everyone's food, then they want hugs and high fives
history: You guys are dipshits.
nazis: Pretty sure we're superior.
history: See, that right there.
nazis: Pretty sure we're superior.
history: See, that right there.
September 13, 2026 at 2:40 AM
history: You guys are dipshits.
nazis: Pretty sure we're superior.
history: See, that right there.
nazis: Pretty sure we're superior.
history: See, that right there.
infinity war/endgame are the two most useless movies ever
an old fisherman destroys half of all life in the universe for [reasons] and then they just do a mulligan
but not before the old fisherman tries his own mulligan
ultimately, the good mulligan wins out
oh yeah, spoilers
an old fisherman destroys half of all life in the universe for [reasons] and then they just do a mulligan
but not before the old fisherman tries his own mulligan
ultimately, the good mulligan wins out
oh yeah, spoilers
September 12, 2026 at 11:39 PM
infinity war/endgame are the two most useless movies ever
an old fisherman destroys half of all life in the universe for [reasons] and then they just do a mulligan
but not before the old fisherman tries his own mulligan
ultimately, the good mulligan wins out
oh yeah, spoilers
an old fisherman destroys half of all life in the universe for [reasons] and then they just do a mulligan
but not before the old fisherman tries his own mulligan
ultimately, the good mulligan wins out
oh yeah, spoilers
checking out the football draft
some pretty solid looking pigs this season
the balls are gonna be elite
some pretty solid looking pigs this season
the balls are gonna be elite
September 12, 2026 at 9:05 PM
checking out the football draft
some pretty solid looking pigs this season
the balls are gonna be elite
some pretty solid looking pigs this season
the balls are gonna be elite
I invented a topical I call Toeachizone™️
Apply liberally to the affected area
Or conservatively
Whichever you prefer
Apply liberally to the affected area
Or conservatively
Whichever you prefer
September 12, 2026 at 6:59 PM
I invented a topical I call Toeachizone™️
Apply liberally to the affected area
Or conservatively
Whichever you prefer
Apply liberally to the affected area
Or conservatively
Whichever you prefer
revenge porn not looking so sinister anymore, huh, humans
September 12, 2026 at 6:55 PM
revenge porn not looking so sinister anymore, huh, humans
Emoji: The Gathering
September 11, 2026 at 11:19 PM
Emoji: The Gathering