Jordan LaFlure
@jdlaflure.bsky.social
Executive Editor @theonion.com
Proud employee of an adult-attraction-only workplace.
Proud employee of an adult-attraction-only workplace.
Reposted by Jordan LaFlure
This is what they took from us.
July 29, 2026 at 12:11 AM
This is what they took from us.
Reposted by Jordan LaFlure
STFU About Chicago. We've got the Onion and Infowars.
July 8, 2026 at 2:27 PM
STFU About Chicago. We've got the Onion and Infowars.
Jim's back. And you are being lied to. www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXiq...
EXPOSING CIA SECRETS: Jeffrey Epstein, JFK, and September 9/11
YouTube video by InfoWars
www.youtube.com
July 8, 2026 at 3:15 PM
Jim's back. And you are being lied to. www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXiq...
Reposted by Jordan LaFlure
The Onion presents Birth of a Nation, the only movie ever named this, is now live.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cTi...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cTi...
America: Birth Of A Nation
YouTube video by The Onion
www.youtube.com
July 3, 2026 at 11:59 PM
The Onion presents Birth of a Nation, the only movie ever named this, is now live.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cTi...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cTi...
Cancel your plans. Something’s come up.
Tune in LIVE to be throttled by the truth. Stream wherever you want to be perceived.
July 2, 2026 at 9:12 PM
Cancel your plans. Something’s come up.
Reposted by Jordan LaFlure
America: Birth Of A Nation | Official Trailer
The Onion's look back on 250 years of American exceptionalism premieres July 3, just as our Founding Fathers predicted.
The Onion's look back on 250 years of American exceptionalism premieres July 3, just as our Founding Fathers predicted.
July 1, 2026 at 9:02 PM
America: Birth Of A Nation | Official Trailer
The Onion's look back on 250 years of American exceptionalism premieres July 3, just as our Founding Fathers predicted.
The Onion's look back on 250 years of American exceptionalism premieres July 3, just as our Founding Fathers predicted.
To my coworkers: This will be the very last time I make this face in the office. I sincerely apologize and will be taking some time to reflect on the decisions I've made that got me here.
June 29, 2026 at 4:56 PM
To my coworkers: This will be the very last time I make this face in the office. I sincerely apologize and will be taking some time to reflect on the decisions I've made that got me here.
Say whatever the fuck how want about kat. But besmirch a $12.99 shrimp plate from the finest fast (casual) food restaurant in the midwest and you’re gonna catch some heat. Believe that.
Person falsely claims to be poor.
People get offended for us taking an issue with that..
while admitting that the person is middle class.
People get offended for us taking an issue with that..
while admitting that the person is middle class.
June 27, 2026 at 3:52 AM
Say whatever the fuck how want about kat. But besmirch a $12.99 shrimp plate from the finest fast (casual) food restaurant in the midwest and you’re gonna catch some heat. Believe that.
Oh shit.
Going live in MINUTES to theonion.info and The Onion's YouTube channel.
May 2, 2026 at 1:48 AM
Oh shit.
Imagine my surprise this morning, firing up infowars.com for my daily dose of brain poison!
May 1, 2026 at 4:10 PM
Imagine my surprise this morning, firing up infowars.com for my daily dose of brain poison!
Reposted by Jordan LaFlure
The Onion’s print ads are the best thing in the newspaper.
March 10, 2026 at 11:42 AM
The Onion’s print ads are the best thing in the newspaper.
clearing shelf space for our first pulitzer
Trump Asks Nicki Minaj To Explain Eating Ass
WASHINGTON—Pulling her aside at a Treasury Department event Wednesday, President Donald Trump reportedly asked hip-hop artist Nicki Minaj to explain eating ass. “Explain it to me, in the simplest term...
theonion.com
January 29, 2026 at 9:11 PM
clearing shelf space for our first pulitzer
if this was the audio I heard when watching live on tv I’d have cried harder than I did
As called by Don Fischer (who called IU's basketball game in Bloomington earlier today) on Indiana radio:
December 7, 2025 at 5:36 AM
if this was the audio I heard when watching live on tv I’d have cried harder than I did
Reposted by Jordan LaFlure
Print edition of the @theonion.com is worth it for the ads alone.
And last December, they included extra sheets with gift wrap. And there was also the full-sheet "sickos" panel insert.
And last December, they included extra sheets with gift wrap. And there was also the full-sheet "sickos" panel insert.
December 6, 2025 at 2:21 AM
Print edition of the @theonion.com is worth it for the ads alone.
And last December, they included extra sheets with gift wrap. And there was also the full-sheet "sickos" panel insert.
And last December, they included extra sheets with gift wrap. And there was also the full-sheet "sickos" panel insert.
Reposted by Jordan LaFlure
Hi everybody,
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
Join The Onion
Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.
membership.theonion.com
November 28, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Hi everybody,
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
Disappointed in the Albert Brooks heads on this site ignoring how obvious this is.
Somebody owes us an explanation for why this isn’t called ‘Defending Your Wife’ youtu.be/irXTps1REHU?...
Eternity | Official Trailer HD | A24
YouTube video by A24
youtu.be
November 24, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Disappointed in the Albert Brooks heads on this site ignoring how obvious this is.
Somebody owes us an explanation for why this isn’t called ‘Defending Your Wife’ youtu.be/irXTps1REHU?...
Eternity | Official Trailer HD | A24
YouTube video by A24
youtu.be
November 22, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Somebody owes us an explanation for why this isn’t called ‘Defending Your Wife’ youtu.be/irXTps1REHU?...
Reposted by Jordan LaFlure
Look, I’ve unsubscribed and resubscribe to the NYT a dozen times in the last few years.
I, too, have been a target of the “ if you had any ethics you would quit” ire when I worked at Deadspin. But journalism jobs are few and far between these days, and there are very few “good” media owners.
I, too, have been a target of the “ if you had any ethics you would quit” ire when I worked at Deadspin. But journalism jobs are few and far between these days, and there are very few “good” media owners.
You're not very principled if you're working for the NYT at this point. Or at least, it's the wrong damn principles.
November 6, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Look, I’ve unsubscribed and resubscribe to the NYT a dozen times in the last few years.
I, too, have been a target of the “ if you had any ethics you would quit” ire when I worked at Deadspin. But journalism jobs are few and far between these days, and there are very few “good” media owners.
I, too, have been a target of the “ if you had any ethics you would quit” ire when I worked at Deadspin. But journalism jobs are few and far between these days, and there are very few “good” media owners.
TEN MINUTES. YOU STILL HAVE TIME TO MAKE POPCORN.
Forget everything you already know about America's most notorious dead person.
Watch Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile today at 7 p.m. ET/6 p.m. CT.
Only at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjhSoGcQhWU.
Watch Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile today at 7 p.m. ET/6 p.m. CT.
Only at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjhSoGcQhWU.
October 9, 2025 at 10:49 PM
TEN MINUTES. YOU STILL HAVE TIME TO MAKE POPCORN.
Reposted by Jordan LaFlure
A very big Onion announcement:
The Onion has spent the last two months working on a masterpiece.
It's a documentary titled Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile.
It's so good, in fact, we were set to release it in theatres nationwide on October 2nd.
Then two weeks ago, Charlie Kirk was shot.
The Onion has spent the last two months working on a masterpiece.
It's a documentary titled Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile.
It's so good, in fact, we were set to release it in theatres nationwide on October 2nd.
Then two weeks ago, Charlie Kirk was shot.
September 25, 2025 at 3:12 PM
A very big Onion announcement:
The Onion has spent the last two months working on a masterpiece.
It's a documentary titled Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile.
It's so good, in fact, we were set to release it in theatres nationwide on October 2nd.
Then two weeks ago, Charlie Kirk was shot.
The Onion has spent the last two months working on a masterpiece.
It's a documentary titled Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile.
It's so good, in fact, we were set to release it in theatres nationwide on October 2nd.
Then two weeks ago, Charlie Kirk was shot.
Reposted by Jordan LaFlure
The Onion News Network truck is currently stationed outside the Broadview ICE Detention facility just outside of Chicago.
September 6, 2025 at 5:34 PM
The Onion News Network truck is currently stationed outside the Broadview ICE Detention facility just outside of Chicago.
Reposted by Jordan LaFlure
I have sent a copy of ‘The Onion’ to every member of Congress. To spread its message to less powerful people, I have also taken out an ad in a lesser newspaper. Read my full letter here: theonion.com/why-im-sendi...
June 22, 2025 at 2:57 PM
I have sent a copy of ‘The Onion’ to every member of Congress. To spread its message to less powerful people, I have also taken out an ad in a lesser newspaper. Read my full letter here: theonion.com/why-im-sendi...
Reposted by Jordan LaFlure
EXCLUSIVE — The Onion has a full-page ad in today’s NYT featuring part of an editorial calling out congressional fecklessness towards Trump. They also sent a copy of their latest issue to every lawmaker.
My report, with an excerpt from the full editorial: www.thehandbasket.co/p/exclusive-...
My report, with an excerpt from the full editorial: www.thehandbasket.co/p/exclusive-...
June 22, 2025 at 1:32 PM
EXCLUSIVE — The Onion has a full-page ad in today’s NYT featuring part of an editorial calling out congressional fecklessness towards Trump. They also sent a copy of their latest issue to every lawmaker.
My report, with an excerpt from the full editorial: www.thehandbasket.co/p/exclusive-...
My report, with an excerpt from the full editorial: www.thehandbasket.co/p/exclusive-...