Jessica Hertz
@jessicaiswriting.bsky.social
Loves books and dogs. She/Her.
Writing at Five Points Journal, The Pinch, Bitch Magazine, Oyster River Pages, Pembroke Magazine, and more.
JessicaHertz.com
Writing at Five Points Journal, The Pinch, Bitch Magazine, Oyster River Pages, Pembroke Magazine, and more.
JessicaHertz.com
So, Backrooms is funhouse mirror, evil Piranesi? Even the main character’s name feels like a direct nod to Susanna Clarke.
June 26, 2026 at 11:04 PM
So, Backrooms is funhouse mirror, evil Piranesi? Even the main character’s name feels like a direct nod to Susanna Clarke.
“But you shouldn’t need to yell or be a pushover if your child is making a scene. Simply kneel down to eye level and tell your one-year-old in a calm, firm voice: “Stop crying.” Boom. Problem solved.”
Oof.
Oof.
"Honestly, how hard is it to be perfect in a precise, scientifically calibrated way designed to be 100% infallible without ever being exhausted, needing a break, or losing your cool for a single second from the time your children are born until each one goes to college?"
buff.ly/yiV5KNc
buff.ly/yiV5KNc
Being a Mother Is Easy
“Despite near-constant whining about how impossible it is to be a mother, it’s really simple: you just have to be perfect.” 5/11/25 5/8/26
www.mcsweeneys.net
May 8, 2026 at 5:40 PM
“But you shouldn’t need to yell or be a pushover if your child is making a scene. Simply kneel down to eye level and tell your one-year-old in a calm, firm voice: “Stop crying.” Boom. Problem solved.”
Oof.
Oof.
Quote post with something good that lasted longer than the Confederacy (1861-1865)
30 Rock (2006-2013)
30 Rock (2006-2013)
April 16, 2026 at 1:17 AM
Quote post with something good that lasted longer than the Confederacy (1861-1865)
30 Rock (2006-2013)
30 Rock (2006-2013)
I’ve eaten moon dust.
Tell me a random fact about yourself that sounds fake but is 100% true.
March 5, 2026 at 2:50 AM
I’ve eaten moon dust.
Reposted by Jessica Hertz
sure the pedophile felon president just illegally bombed a country that may have nukes while federal forces under his command murder and harass people in america and immigrants are tortured and he moves forward with plans to build concentration camps and sorry idk where i was going fuck all of this
February 28, 2026 at 11:01 PM
sure the pedophile felon president just illegally bombed a country that may have nukes while federal forces under his command murder and harass people in america and immigrants are tortured and he moves forward with plans to build concentration camps and sorry idk where i was going fuck all of this
Reposted by Jessica Hertz
Anne Frank died of typhus at Bergen-Belsen
ICE now confirming that there is a measles outbreak at the Texas concentration camp where young Liam was held.
February 2, 2026 at 12:52 AM
Anne Frank died of typhus at Bergen-Belsen
So I was thinking: every romantic comedy is, explicitly or just in vibes, a Christmas movie. Like, The Holiday? Obviously. When Harry Met Sally? Yup. Clueless? Weirdly, I’m going to go with yes.
December 14, 2025 at 11:36 PM
So I was thinking: every romantic comedy is, explicitly or just in vibes, a Christmas movie. Like, The Holiday? Obviously. When Harry Met Sally? Yup. Clueless? Weirdly, I’m going to go with yes.
Stoppard was a genius and one of my personal literary heroes. His writing was incredible - funny, thoughtful, and moving. He melded philosophy, science, and human emotion in a way that is rare, neither talking down to his audience nor being convoluted. His death is a loss to theatre and literature.
December 2, 2025 at 4:23 PM
Stoppard was a genius and one of my personal literary heroes. His writing was incredible - funny, thoughtful, and moving. He melded philosophy, science, and human emotion in a way that is rare, neither talking down to his audience nor being convoluted. His death is a loss to theatre and literature.
Are people placing bets? I’ll put 20 bucks on Bad Art Friend to take the whole thing.
After some first round upsets, 32 iconic Literary Twitter moments remain! Vote in the next round of our What was Literary Twitter? bracket to push your favorite discourses to the top.
What Was Literary Twitter? The Bracket *Day 2*
Welcome to day two of What Was Literary Twitter! Plenty of you voted yesterday in our first round of polling, and it was exciting to go though the results. The top seeds sailed through, YA won all …
buff.ly
November 18, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Are people placing bets? I’ll put 20 bucks on Bad Art Friend to take the whole thing.
Meanwhile, we will continue to accept Texas transplants who are sick of living there with graciousness because that’s what NYC does.
You don’t need to add any more disincentives, Gov.
There’s already your higher crime, shakier power grid, and worse pizza.
There’s already your higher crime, shakier power grid, and worse pizza.
November 4, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Meanwhile, we will continue to accept Texas transplants who are sick of living there with graciousness because that’s what NYC does.
Is the desecration of the White House the worst thing this administration is doing? Not by a long shot. But it *is* a very visible and visceral symbol the lawlessness and entitlement with which it is operating.
NEW: NBC News confirms that the Jacqueline Kennedy Garden, on the east side of the White House, has been destroyed as part of the demolition of the East Wing.
(📸 Getty Images)
(📸 Getty Images)
October 24, 2025 at 8:04 PM
Is the desecration of the White House the worst thing this administration is doing? Not by a long shot. But it *is* a very visible and visceral symbol the lawlessness and entitlement with which it is operating.
Reposted by Jessica Hertz
Pretty sure that when you have giant frogs everywhere, God is very disappointed in how you are treating immigrants.
Things are happening at Portland's ICE facility tonight.
Read more of our protest coverage here: www.oregonlive.com/crime/2025/1...
Read more of our protest coverage here: www.oregonlive.com/crime/2025/1...
October 10, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Pretty sure that when you have giant frogs everywhere, God is very disappointed in how you are treating immigrants.
Reposted by Jessica Hertz
whole lot of people who probably think they can spot right-wing racism when it's couched in dog whistles suddenly pretending they can't hear a normal-ass whistle
October 9, 2025 at 4:54 AM
whole lot of people who probably think they can spot right-wing racism when it's couched in dog whistles suddenly pretending they can't hear a normal-ass whistle
Ahhhhhh!!!! This is so fucking COOL! The ocean is magnificent and terrifying!
I used to cower from and yet be compelled by that diorama in the Milstein Hall of Ocean Life at AMNH as a kid, and that kid is freaking out right now.
I used to cower from and yet be compelled by that diorama in the Milstein Hall of Ocean Life at AMNH as a kid, and that kid is freaking out right now.
I get that the news cycle is packed right now, but I just heard from a colleague at the Smithsonian that this is fully a GIANT SQUID BEING EATEN BY A SPERM WHALE and it’s possibly the first ever confirmed video according to a friend at NOAA
10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)
10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)
September 25, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Ahhhhhh!!!! This is so fucking COOL! The ocean is magnificent and terrifying!
I used to cower from and yet be compelled by that diorama in the Milstein Hall of Ocean Life at AMNH as a kid, and that kid is freaking out right now.
I used to cower from and yet be compelled by that diorama in the Milstein Hall of Ocean Life at AMNH as a kid, and that kid is freaking out right now.
This is horrifying (it was horrifying when they were thought to be smuggling drugs, and yet somehow what actually seems to have happened is even worse)
The president probably blew up a boat smuggling migrants, not drugs, and this story is just going to go away tomorrow when he does something even worse, isn’t it?
September 4, 2025 at 1:21 AM
This is horrifying (it was horrifying when they were thought to be smuggling drugs, and yet somehow what actually seems to have happened is even worse)
I’m so tired of and sad about living in a country where children are murdered at school and, collectively, we refuse to do anything about it. This isn’t rocket science – countries with strict gun laws don’t have this happening all the time – but we seem to have decided it’s an acceptable price.
August 27, 2025 at 6:00 PM
I’m so tired of and sad about living in a country where children are murdered at school and, collectively, we refuse to do anything about it. This isn’t rocket science – countries with strict gun laws don’t have this happening all the time – but we seem to have decided it’s an acceptable price.
Saw a trio of twenty-something friends taking a selfie. One of them looked at the picture and said: “Oh, wow! We are all SO photogenic!” This is the energy and self-confidence I wish I had when I was younger.
August 13, 2025 at 2:17 PM
Saw a trio of twenty-something friends taking a selfie. One of them looked at the picture and said: “Oh, wow! We are all SO photogenic!” This is the energy and self-confidence I wish I had when I was younger.
Reposted by Jessica Hertz
I just sent this out.
The Jewish people have moral frameworks for this moment.
It is a choice not to heed them.
Please let us meet this moment, let us see the shattered Temple around us, right now, and our responsibility to it.
The Jewish people have moral frameworks for this moment.
It is a choice not to heed them.
Please let us meet this moment, let us see the shattered Temple around us, right now, and our responsibility to it.
to Jews, on the Gaza famine
an open letter: we have been commanded
www.lifeisasacredtext.com
July 24, 2025 at 10:22 PM
I just sent this out.
The Jewish people have moral frameworks for this moment.
It is a choice not to heed them.
Please let us meet this moment, let us see the shattered Temple around us, right now, and our responsibility to it.
The Jewish people have moral frameworks for this moment.
It is a choice not to heed them.
Please let us meet this moment, let us see the shattered Temple around us, right now, and our responsibility to it.
Reposted by Jessica Hertz
If you’re in line to make a stay in line joke, this is a New York City election and it’s “stay ON line”
June 24, 2025 at 11:58 PM
If you’re in line to make a stay in line joke, this is a New York City election and it’s “stay ON line”
Reposted by Jessica Hertz
This is a vital message: one of the larger reasons BlueSky is refreshingly free of alt-right shitlords is because in the early days we made a gentleperson’s agreement to starve these fuckos out and it worked. No likes, no quotes, no engagement. They got bored and left. Please keep the Old Ways.
June 18, 2025 at 11:17 PM
This is a vital message: one of the larger reasons BlueSky is refreshingly free of alt-right shitlords is because in the early days we made a gentleperson’s agreement to starve these fuckos out and it worked. No likes, no quotes, no engagement. They got bored and left. Please keep the Old Ways.
Reposted by Jessica Hertz
The cruelty of this is, genuinely, staggering. This is a policy that saves virtually no money whatsoever whose success is measured in the number of children it kills.
Breaking: The Trevor Project received a stop-work order last night on its contract with the national 988 suicide prevention hotline. The Trump administration is eliminating the option for LGBTQ callers to the hotline to press 3 and connect with someone who specializes in LGBTQ mental health.
June 18, 2025 at 2:14 PM
The cruelty of this is, genuinely, staggering. This is a policy that saves virtually no money whatsoever whose success is measured in the number of children it kills.
Reposted by Jessica Hertz
In a lengthy exchange, with ICE Deputy Field Director Bill Joyce, Reps Nadler and Goldman are denied the ability to visit the 10th floor. Joyce says it's not a detention facility it's just a place ppl are housed for several days w/out beds.
June 18, 2025 at 3:15 PM
In a lengthy exchange, with ICE Deputy Field Director Bill Joyce, Reps Nadler and Goldman are denied the ability to visit the 10th floor. Joyce says it's not a detention facility it's just a place ppl are housed for several days w/out beds.
I have not been the biggest fan of Hochul, but I have to hand it to her here.
And Lander is the real deal. Didn’t realize he has been doing this for weeks now. Good for him.
And Lander is the real deal. Didn’t realize he has been doing this for weeks now. Good for him.
Yeah you’ve got hochul uploading an official nygov social video calling lander’s arrest, and I’m quoting here, “bullshit.” They think the feds have overreached and are vulnerable.
June 17, 2025 at 9:32 PM
I have not been the biggest fan of Hochul, but I have to hand it to her here.
And Lander is the real deal. Didn’t realize he has been doing this for weeks now. Good for him.
And Lander is the real deal. Didn’t realize he has been doing this for weeks now. Good for him.
Reposted by Jessica Hertz
A reporter from The City had overheard one agent say to another minutes before Lander’s arrest, “Do you want to arrest the Comptroller?”
www.thecity.nyc/2025/06/17/b...
www.thecity.nyc/2025/06/17/b...
Brad Lander Detained by Masked Federal Agents Inside Immigration Court
The arrest came in his latest visit to the courthouse to speak with migrants there.
www.thecity.nyc
June 17, 2025 at 5:20 PM
A reporter from The City had overheard one agent say to another minutes before Lander’s arrest, “Do you want to arrest the Comptroller?”
www.thecity.nyc/2025/06/17/b...
www.thecity.nyc/2025/06/17/b...
Reposted by Jessica Hertz
Not an original point but worth saying again - there is not a single element in this picture that identifies any of these folks as law enforcement agents. No badges, no uniforms, no vests. Out of context it just looks like a bunch of random guys are kidnapping a mayoral candidate.
Breaking News: Brad Lander, the New York City comptroller who is running for mayor, was detained by ICE agents at an immigration court as he tried to escort a migrant out of the courthouse to prevent his arrest. nyti.ms/4jWkANE
June 17, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Not an original point but worth saying again - there is not a single element in this picture that identifies any of these folks as law enforcement agents. No badges, no uniforms, no vests. Out of context it just looks like a bunch of random guys are kidnapping a mayoral candidate.