McSweeney's
@mcsweeneys.net
The official Bluesky feed of McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, & McSweeney's Books.
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McSweeney's
@mcsweeneys.net
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Obey in Advance: How to Survive (and Thrive) Under Authoritarianism
Get 20% off when you purchase the book alongside the official Obey in Advance hat. We know, we know: A book about authoritarianism? In 2026? What, are the writers living in some liberal snowflake…
store.mcsweeneys.net
“Democracy is priceless, but fascism sure seems to pay well. If you’re morally bankrupt and looking to sell your soul, Obey in Advance has everything you need for a profitable life of lickspittlery.”
—Kevin Kruse (@kevinmkruse.bsky.social), Professor of History, Princeton University
buff.ly/o2VAlmd
—Kevin Kruse (@kevinmkruse.bsky.social), Professor of History, Princeton University
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"Dude, remember that time I got four teas here? I just lined them up. The server was like, ‘What the fuck? No way you are drinking four teas!’ And I’m just like, 'Yeah, just watch.' Boom."
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buff.ly/W4cbWGJ
It’s Friday Night, Bro: Let’s Get Sober as Fuck
“Teas, right? Let’s get some teas. You want some milk? Don’t be a milk pussy, dude. Get some calcium. I don’t want to be the only one with strong bones. Yes,...
buff.ly
September 19, 2026 at 2:16 AM
"Dude, remember that time I got four teas here? I just lined them up. The server was like, ‘What the fuck? No way you are drinking four teas!’ And I’m just like, 'Yeah, just watch.' Boom."
buff.ly/W4cbWGJ
buff.ly/W4cbWGJ
"It’s a simple exchange introduced by German academics that dates back to the early nineteenth century. We’ll cover the complete cost of IVF to help you build your family—yes, really—and then, on your child’s first birthday, we might take your baby."
buff.ly/stGSoST
buff.ly/stGSoST
Rumpelstiltskin Isn’t Your Typical Fertility Startup
“Our founders took years of experience in casino design and timeshare sales and swaddled them together into a first-of-its-kind solution that asks: Do poor p...
buff.ly
September 19, 2026 at 2:00 AM
"It’s a simple exchange introduced by German academics that dates back to the early nineteenth century. We’ll cover the complete cost of IVF to help you build your family—yes, really—and then, on your child’s first birthday, we might take your baby."
buff.ly/stGSoST
buff.ly/stGSoST
Logline: “A guy not particularly fond of fresh air or crowds enters a nightmare universe full of the kind of outdoor spaces that give introverts panic attacks.”
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buff.ly/PSniJtx
Backrooms, but for Introverts
Logline: “A guy not particularly fond of fresh air or crowds enters a nightmare universe full of the kind of outdoor spaces that give introverts panic attacks.”
buff.ly
September 19, 2026 at 1:40 AM
Logline: “A guy not particularly fond of fresh air or crowds enters a nightmare universe full of the kind of outdoor spaces that give introverts panic attacks.”
buff.ly/PSniJtx
buff.ly/PSniJtx
Reposted by McSweeney's
Take a look and get your order in!
I know it's early, but these things sell out fast and also this is one of the coolest things to ever happen to me. A comedy bit I wrote is part of McSweeney's 2026 Advent Calendar in which it'll be published as its own minibook. You can pre-order:
The 2026 McSweeney's Advent Calendar
This is a preorder, the 2026 McSweeney's Advent Calendar will begin shipping this October, in time for full holiday enjoyment. Enjoy 15% off your order when you purchase an Advent Calendar alongside a...
store.mcsweeneys.net
September 16, 2026 at 7:28 PM
Take a look and get your order in!
"We're the party of Lincoln. The party of small government and personal freedom. But the time has finally come to say this: when Grand Chancellor Trump demands that he be bathed in the blood of the impure, it concerns me. Look at how I’m frowning. You can tell I am concerned."
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I’m a Moderate, Sane Republican Who is Very Concerned With Grand Chancellor Trump’s Demand to Be Bathed In the Blood of the Impure
“Today I, along with my Republican colleagues at the Imperial Figurehead Parliament say this in the strongest terms: America is not about extracting the bloo...
buff.ly
September 19, 2026 at 1:20 AM
"We're the party of Lincoln. The party of small government and personal freedom. But the time has finally come to say this: when Grand Chancellor Trump demands that he be bathed in the blood of the impure, it concerns me. Look at how I’m frowning. You can tell I am concerned."
buff.ly/mm4gN3K
buff.ly/mm4gN3K
ICYMI, here's the latest installment of our weekly comic, Underground Artists, by Ali Fitzgerald.
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buff.ly/xZoQKP0
Sculpture Weather
El Niño takes no prisoners, even in the forest of Underground Artists.
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September 19, 2026 at 1:00 AM
ICYMI, here's the latest installment of our weekly comic, Underground Artists, by Ali Fitzgerald.
buff.ly/xZoQKP0
buff.ly/xZoQKP0
"Could the Shit Machine END WORLD HUNGER? It’s NOT IMPOSSIBLE in the most LITERAL SENSE, which is all the justification we need to invest an AMOUNT OF MONEY that would OTHERWISE BY ITSELF END ACTUAL WORLD HUNGER."
buff.ly/K5t1rGh
buff.ly/K5t1rGh
We Must Create the Shit Machine
“For as long as humans have created SHIT with our BODIES AND BUTTS, we have been asking this FUNDAMENTAL QUESTION: What if there was a COMPUTER that could AL...
www.mcsweeneys.net
September 19, 2026 at 12:30 AM
"Could the Shit Machine END WORLD HUNGER? It’s NOT IMPOSSIBLE in the most LITERAL SENSE, which is all the justification we need to invest an AMOUNT OF MONEY that would OTHERWISE BY ITSELF END ACTUAL WORLD HUNGER."
buff.ly/K5t1rGh
buff.ly/K5t1rGh
Reposted by McSweeney's
Last year, I bought the McSweeney's Advent Calendar, which is a lovely set of 24 tiny books, each containing an essay, poem or other art. I really enjoyed them, so I'm excited they're doing it again this year. Pre-orders are up now! […]
Original post on kind.social
kind.social
September 16, 2026 at 11:47 AM
Last year, I bought the McSweeney's Advent Calendar, which is a lovely set of 24 tiny books, each containing an essay, poem or other art. I really enjoyed them, so I'm excited they're doing it again this year. Pre-orders are up now! […]
Reposted by McSweeney's
I know it's early, but these things sell out fast and also this is one of the coolest things to ever happen to me. A comedy bit I wrote is part of McSweeney's 2026 Advent Calendar in which it'll be published as its own minibook. You can pre-order:
The 2026 McSweeney's Advent Calendar
This is a preorder, the 2026 McSweeney's Advent Calendar will begin shipping this October, in time for full holiday enjoyment. Enjoy 15% off your order when you purchase an Advent Calendar alongside a...
store.mcsweeneys.net
September 16, 2026 at 7:26 PM
I know it's early, but these things sell out fast and also this is one of the coolest things to ever happen to me. A comedy bit I wrote is part of McSweeney's 2026 Advent Calendar in which it'll be published as its own minibook. You can pre-order:
Reposted by McSweeney's
Margaret Mead
“Travels to and from the Samoan Islands were funded by the candidate’s father, which points to an alarming inability to bring in big external grants.”
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“Travels to and from the Samoan Islands were funded by the candidate’s father, which points to an alarming inability to bring in big external grants.”
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Faculty Search Committee Feedback on Applications from Founding Figures of the Fields for Tenure-Track Positions
Homer “This guy gave his job talk in dialects. We need someone who can teach Freshman Greek 100.”
www.mcsweeneys.net
September 17, 2026 at 12:30 PM
Margaret Mead
“Travels to and from the Samoan Islands were funded by the candidate’s father, which points to an alarming inability to bring in big external grants.”
buff.ly/FvJc3bA
“Travels to and from the Samoan Islands were funded by the candidate’s father, which points to an alarming inability to bring in big external grants.”
buff.ly/FvJc3bA
Reposted by McSweeney's
BOSTON: See authors Carlos Greaves & Ginny Hogan discuss their new satire book, "Obey in Advance," with McSweeney's editor Chris Monks. This coming Monday evening, Sept 21, at Parkside Bookshop. Click for details!
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"Obey in Advance How to Survive (and Thrive) Under Authoritarianism" - A conversation with authors Ginny Hogan & Carlos Greaves | Parkside Bookshop
An independent bookstore in the heart of Boston's South End
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September 17, 2026 at 11:29 PM
BOSTON: See authors Carlos Greaves & Ginny Hogan discuss their new satire book, "Obey in Advance," with McSweeney's editor Chris Monks. This coming Monday evening, Sept 21, at Parkside Bookshop. Click for details!
buff.ly/OqvOs20
buff.ly/OqvOs20
Reposted by McSweeney's
In this week's newsletter, @jamesfolta.com and I assemble great writing by Justin Courter in @pointsincase.com and Maria Choong, Juliet Zhou, and @chandlerjdean.bsky.social in @mcsweeneys.net
Plus info about the event we're co-hosting and my upcoming workshops!
Check it out and subscribe ⬇️
Plus info about the event we're co-hosting and my upcoming workshops!
Check it out and subscribe ⬇️
A Newsletter of Humorous Writing
by Luke Burns & James Folta A weekly newsletter dedicated to humorous writing and humorous writers. We round up the best short humor pieces and funny articles every week, and have some fun extras ever...
buttondown.com
September 18, 2026 at 4:24 PM
In this week's newsletter, @jamesfolta.com and I assemble great writing by Justin Courter in @pointsincase.com and Maria Choong, Juliet Zhou, and @chandlerjdean.bsky.social in @mcsweeneys.net
Plus info about the event we're co-hosting and my upcoming workshops!
Check it out and subscribe ⬇️
Plus info about the event we're co-hosting and my upcoming workshops!
Check it out and subscribe ⬇️
Reposted by McSweeney's
perfection
"Ed Sheeran has, for some reason, decided to claim that he was just following orders. Robert Kraft is hoping everyone forgets he was in the Epstein Files. And Ryan Lewis is… what? Watering a plant somewhere? Birdwatching?"
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Ryan Lewis’s Silence on the Macklemore Situation Is Deafening
“As controversy spreads and the country collectively holds its breath to see if Mr. Thrift Shop has Mackled his last More, I find myself asking the question ...
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September 18, 2026 at 3:50 PM
perfection
"Vaccines were supposed to be on the tablets the whole time. Wild, right? But, in My defense, I had just created heaven and earth, and parted the Red Sea, and plagued Egypt, and dictated quite a lot of dense material to Moses."
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An Important Vaccine Update from the Lord Thy God
“Vaccines were supposed to be on the tablets the whole time. Wild, right? But, in My defense, I had just created heaven and earth, and parted the Red Sea, an...
buff.ly
September 18, 2026 at 6:27 PM
"Vaccines were supposed to be on the tablets the whole time. Wild, right? But, in My defense, I had just created heaven and earth, and parted the Red Sea, and plagued Egypt, and dictated quite a lot of dense material to Moses."
buff.ly/eifDNoc
buff.ly/eifDNoc
Reposted by McSweeney's
Check out my latest in @mcsweeneys.net especially if you like to back it up, get low, and/or drop it like it's hot but also have an orthopedist!!
"Getting low is one thing, but did we have to go all the way from the window to the wall each time? I understand dropping it like it’s hot when the pimp’s in the crib, but why did we also have to drop it when the pigs tried to get at us?"
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An Open Letter to Juvenile, Snoop Dogg, and Lil Jon Regarding My Recently Diagnosed Degenerative Knee Condition
“Getting low is one thing, but did we have to go all the way from the window to the wall each time? I understand dropping it like it’s hot when the pimp’s in...
www.mcsweeneys.net
September 17, 2026 at 3:30 PM
Check out my latest in @mcsweeneys.net especially if you like to back it up, get low, and/or drop it like it's hot but also have an orthopedist!!
"By working remotely, I break down boundaries. I’m a traveler and a worker, a learner, and a teacher. I’m a digital nomad and a real-life colonist."
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My Remote Job Gives Me the Freedom to Displace People All Over the World
“By working remotely, I break down boundaries. I’m a traveler and a worker, a learner, and a teacher. I’m a digital nomad and a real-life colonist.” 9/14/23 ...
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September 18, 2026 at 5:15 PM
"By working remotely, I break down boundaries. I’m a traveler and a worker, a learner, and a teacher. I’m a digital nomad and a real-life colonist."
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"Teas, right? Let’s get some teas. You want some milk? Don’t be a milk pussy, dude. Get some calcium. I don’t want to be the only one with strong bones. Yes, there it is. Okay, first tea of the night—let’s slam this shit down."
buff.ly/W4cbWGJ
buff.ly/W4cbWGJ
It’s Friday Night, Bro: Let’s Get Sober as Fuck
“Teas, right? Let’s get some teas. You want some milk? Don’t be a milk pussy, dude. Get some calcium. I don’t want to be the only one with strong bones. Yes,...
buff.ly
September 18, 2026 at 3:20 PM
"Teas, right? Let’s get some teas. You want some milk? Don’t be a milk pussy, dude. Get some calcium. I don’t want to be the only one with strong bones. Yes, there it is. Okay, first tea of the night—let’s slam this shit down."
buff.ly/W4cbWGJ
buff.ly/W4cbWGJ
Reposted by McSweeney's
"When he opened the front door of his bunker for me, I thought, 'See, this is a guy with manners.'"
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The Friendly Nazis Next Door
“When he opened the front door of his bunker for me, I thought, ‘See, this is a guy with manners.’”
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September 18, 2026 at 1:20 AM
"When he opened the front door of his bunker for me, I thought, 'See, this is a guy with manners.'"
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Reposted by McSweeney's
OMG. This is so up my alley it's hysterical.
"You'll probably hear this soon enough from the other kids on the playground anyway, so I might as well tell you. Santa isn't real, the Tooth Fairy is imaginary, and there's no such thing as the 'invisible hand of the market.'"
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Son, You’re Old Enough to Know the Truth, There is No Such Thing as the “Invisible Hand of the Market”
“You’ll probably hear this soon enough from the other kids on the playground anyway, so I might as well tell you. Santa isn’t real, the Tooth Fairy is imagin...
www.mcsweeneys.net
September 17, 2026 at 3:30 PM
OMG. This is so up my alley it's hysterical.
"I see most people have their cameras off. We encourage you to keep them on. Seeing others who are also profusely bleeding and disfigured can help you feel less alone. Even though you are quite literally alone."
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You Don’t Qualify for an ER Visit Until After You Attend This Online Group Class About How to Care for Your Giant Gaping Wound at Home
“The ER can be a busy place, so out of respect for your time and our HMO cost-saving measures, you have been referred to take this class first. After two wee...
www.mcsweeneys.net
September 18, 2026 at 1:02 PM
"I see most people have their cameras off. We encourage you to keep them on. Seeing others who are also profusely bleeding and disfigured can help you feel less alone. Even though you are quite literally alone."
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buff.ly/XCSdw8L
"We have not been this EXCITED about SHIT-BASED TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENTS since the advent of the SHITAVERSE, which we all LOVED and DEFINITELY NEEDED and CONTINUE NOT TO BE ABLE TO GET ENOUGH OF and should NEVER SPEAK ANOTHER WORD OF AGAIN."
buff.ly/K5t1rGh
buff.ly/K5t1rGh
We Must Create the Shit Machine
“For as long as humans have created SHIT with our BODIES AND BUTTS, we have been asking this FUNDAMENTAL QUESTION: What if there were a COMPUTER that could A...
buff.ly
September 18, 2026 at 12:25 PM
"We have not been this EXCITED about SHIT-BASED TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENTS since the advent of the SHITAVERSE, which we all LOVED and DEFINITELY NEEDED and CONTINUE NOT TO BE ABLE TO GET ENOUGH OF and should NEVER SPEAK ANOTHER WORD OF AGAIN."
buff.ly/K5t1rGh
buff.ly/K5t1rGh
Reposted by McSweeney's
"Our founders took years of experience in casino design and timeshare sales and swaddled them together into a first-of-its-kind solution that asks: Do poor people deserve to have kids?"
buff.ly/stGSoST
buff.ly/stGSoST
Rumpelstiltskin Isn’t Your Typical Fertility Startup
“Our founders took years of experience in casino design and timeshare sales and swaddled them together into a first-of-its-kind solution that asks: Do poor p...
buff.ly
September 17, 2026 at 3:22 PM
"Our founders took years of experience in casino design and timeshare sales and swaddled them together into a first-of-its-kind solution that asks: Do poor people deserve to have kids?"
buff.ly/stGSoST
buff.ly/stGSoST
"I've returned from an orthopedist and concluded that my newly diagnosed degenerative knee could only have been caused by the numerous demands you and your colleagues made of my generation to do some variation of dropping it like it was hot, backing it up, and/or getting low."
buff.ly/Sy3G5KT
buff.ly/Sy3G5KT
An Open Letter to Juvenile, Snoop Dogg, and Lil Jon Regarding My Recently Diagnosed Degenerative Knee Condition
“Getting low is one thing, but did we have to go all the way from the window to the wall each time? I understand dropping it like it’s hot when the pimp’s in...
www.mcsweeneys.net
September 18, 2026 at 2:00 AM
"I've returned from an orthopedist and concluded that my newly diagnosed degenerative knee could only have been caused by the numerous demands you and your colleagues made of my generation to do some variation of dropping it like it was hot, backing it up, and/or getting low."
buff.ly/Sy3G5KT
buff.ly/Sy3G5KT