Jesus Zoidberg: Ocarina of (Half) Time
@jesuszoidberg.bsky.social
I talk Philly Sports, Pro Wrestling, Politics, and Phuturama, and other stuff that doesn't begin with P.
Radically pro-transgender!!
❤️❤️❤️ Mom 6/10/57 to 4/6/25
Success in life is measured by the type of person you are.
Radically pro-transgender!!
❤️❤️❤️ Mom 6/10/57 to 4/6/25
Success in life is measured by the type of person you are.
Pinned
Cowboys really are America's team, both are run by an old fool that surrounds himself with nepotistic and or sycophantic hires, each less qualified than the last.
It's funny that Yom Kippur is so early because the weather is kind of cool, because it's usually in October and usually hotter.
September 19, 2026 at 5:53 PM
It's funny that Yom Kippur is so early because the weather is kind of cool, because it's usually in October and usually hotter.
Holiday really snuck up on me.
September 19, 2026 at 5:50 PM
Holiday really snuck up on me.
Who is this for exactly?
September 19, 2026 at 5:47 PM
Who is this for exactly?
Subtweet, but the Eagles went to two Super Bowls and won one, I think complaining about Justin Jefferson is bollocks.
September 19, 2026 at 1:53 PM
Subtweet, but the Eagles went to two Super Bowls and won one, I think complaining about Justin Jefferson is bollocks.
This post really really holds up.
"Tony Khan didn't really want me, Jake Hager, there." "John Cena didn't want to lose the title to me, Jake Hager." "AEW didn't let me rip off Groot." JAKE HAGER REVEALS PEOPLE'S INSTINCTS ABOUT JAKE HAGER WERE BETTER THAN YOU PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT THEY WERE.
The Jake Hager interview is one of my favorite wrestling tropes: The post-career shoot that is intended to be a scathing, bridge-burning tell all but all it does is make every target look smarter and cooler.
September 19, 2026 at 1:51 PM
This post really really holds up.
Reposted by Jesus Zoidberg: Ocarina of (Half) Time
As a long, long, long, long, long time Converse buyer, I will never buy a Converse product ever again. I am sick of the virtue signalling to racists. I see this and I see a man hanged, a white robe that could be a klansman's robe and light shaped like a KKK hat. What the actual hell!?!
September 18, 2026 at 8:41 PM
As a long, long, long, long, long time Converse buyer, I will never buy a Converse product ever again. I am sick of the virtue signalling to racists. I see this and I see a man hanged, a white robe that could be a klansman's robe and light shaped like a KKK hat. What the actual hell!?!
Reposted by Jesus Zoidberg: Ocarina of (Half) Time
Dave interrupting his parenthetical statement to make another one. Classic Dave.
Dave on Brian Cage admitting to PED and steroid usage
September 19, 2026 at 12:59 PM
Dave interrupting his parenthetical statement to make another one. Classic Dave.
The sin with these Pokemon cards, and the company obviously knows what they're doing, is many of them are pretty neat looking.
September 19, 2026 at 12:50 PM
The sin with these Pokemon cards, and the company obviously knows what they're doing, is many of them are pretty neat looking.
When I was a boy, I collected cards. I wanted Phillies or even rookie cards because they were cool(Ken Griffey Jr). Whenever I buy a pack of Pokemon cards for my nephew, he rips them open to see if there are any rare cards because they're worth money. It's a shame.
September 19, 2026 at 12:49 PM
When I was a boy, I collected cards. I wanted Phillies or even rookie cards because they were cool(Ken Griffey Jr). Whenever I buy a pack of Pokemon cards for my nephew, he rips them open to see if there are any rare cards because they're worth money. It's a shame.
Am I the Eagles?
“Don’t let anyone steal our joy.”
How the Eagles are trying to shift their mindset in 2026: www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/...
How the Eagles are trying to shift their mindset in 2026: www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/...
Eagles' new perspective for '26: Don't 'let anyone steal our joy'
It's no coincidence the mood inside Philly's locker room was at its most sullen in 2023 and '25, two seasons following Super Bowl runs.
www.espn.com
September 19, 2026 at 12:41 PM
Am I the Eagles?
And any of those these could easily beat the Braves on the road.
NL Wildcard is a 3 way tie, Arizona is 5 games back & their tragic number is 4. Everyone else is eliminated
September 19, 2026 at 12:34 PM
And any of those these could easily beat the Braves on the road.
Bluesky argues with strawmen more than Armando Benítez.
September 19, 2026 at 12:21 PM
Bluesky argues with strawmen more than Armando Benítez.
I think it's less the obvious answer and more the obviou$ answer here.
Here's a chart from the post.... quite a change in a single generation.
September 19, 2026 at 12:20 PM
I think it's less the obvious answer and more the obviou$ answer here.
I think any Phillies run is unlikely but don't forget the difference between April and May and July and August with this team.
September 19, 2026 at 2:45 AM
I think any Phillies run is unlikely but don't forget the difference between April and May and July and August with this team.
Phillies and Cubs
September 19, 2026 at 2:40 AM
Phillies and Cubs
Eh, tonight was fine.
September 19, 2026 at 2:03 AM
Eh, tonight was fine.
I feel the same way watching the Phillies.
5 minutes into this Lizzie Borden show and I’m team Lizzie. Kill em all, girlie
September 18, 2026 at 11:39 PM
I feel the same way watching the Phillies.
The graphics on the new Ocarina of Time remake are out of this world!
Andrade, Ospreay and Francesco Akira (2026, colourised)
September 18, 2026 at 11:36 PM
The graphics on the new Ocarina of Time remake are out of this world!
So many institutions are going to die because they prostituted themselves in the service of something that people will look back on with the fondness of the German Bund.
September 18, 2026 at 11:34 PM
So many institutions are going to die because they prostituted themselves in the service of something that people will look back on with the fondness of the German Bund.
Jim Ross still thinks he can get over.
Jake Hager nearly got into a confrontation with members of a college basketball team after his Power Slap loss this week, FightfulSelect.com was told.
We have tons of news and notes for Select subscribers.
We have tons of news and notes for Select subscribers.
September 18, 2026 at 10:29 PM
Jim Ross still thinks he can get over.
Reposted by Jesus Zoidberg: Ocarina of (Half) Time
In this Philadelphia sports bar, OpenAI still means no one is guarding Allen Iverson. But they do know this: Even if the machines take all of our jobs, we'll still need real humans to boo Santa Claus.
September 18, 2026 at 5:09 PM
In this Philadelphia sports bar, OpenAI still means no one is guarding Allen Iverson. But they do know this: Even if the machines take all of our jobs, we'll still need real humans to boo Santa Claus.
Justin Herbert plays the way a QB should play
September 18, 2026 at 4:10 PM
Justin Herbert plays the way a QB should play