Laocoon
@laocooncitheronia.bsky.social
"Rejected even by furries," according to one Twitterer's poignant accounting.
LAY-oh-kahn
https://laocooncitheronia.substack.com/
LAY-oh-kahn
https://laocooncitheronia.substack.com/
I'll have you know I don't watch Rick and Morty and get drunk anymore.
Now I'm watching House. Also drunk.
I've also been out running two days a week, so... idk, progress.
Now I'm watching House. Also drunk.
I've also been out running two days a week, so... idk, progress.
October 3, 2026 at 11:25 PM
I'll have you know I don't watch Rick and Morty and get drunk anymore.
Now I'm watching House. Also drunk.
I've also been out running two days a week, so... idk, progress.
Now I'm watching House. Also drunk.
I've also been out running two days a week, so... idk, progress.
Great job, America.
"At least six babies in Pennsylvania have been born infected with measles, with two so sick they had to be admitted to intensive care. Congenital measles is a disease that’s rarely, if ever, seen in the U.S..."
www.nbcnews.com/health/healt...
www.nbcnews.com/health/healt...
America had wiped out measles. Now babies are infected at birth.
Congenital measles has rarely been seen in the U.S. That’s changing as vaccination declines and more pregnant women become infected.
www.nbcnews.com
September 27, 2026 at 9:36 AM
Great job, America.
Me at work this week.
September 25, 2026 at 10:00 PM
Me at work this week.
"You'll have time if you make it" will earn you a punch in the mouth from me.
Can you guys tell the anger is my primary emotion right now? I need to come down, goddamn.
Can you guys tell the anger is my primary emotion right now? I need to come down, goddamn.
September 22, 2026 at 8:22 PM
"You'll have time if you make it" will earn you a punch in the mouth from me.
Can you guys tell the anger is my primary emotion right now? I need to come down, goddamn.
Can you guys tell the anger is my primary emotion right now? I need to come down, goddamn.
I'm not usually this guy, but there's an app for this. Paprika. Scans the website, removes ALL the bullshit, and deposits a clean recipe in a simple list for you to click on as needed.
September 22, 2026 at 11:34 AM
I'm not usually this guy, but there's an app for this. Paprika. Scans the website, removes ALL the bullshit, and deposits a clean recipe in a simple list for you to click on as needed.
My neighbor cannot come over every day. He can't. I don't understand why he thinks he can. What does he think my life is? Like, I'm not working and doing shit every single waking hour? I cannot sit on my stoop and talk for 45 minutes every day.
I am not your wife.
I am not your wife.
September 22, 2026 at 12:08 AM
My neighbor cannot come over every day. He can't. I don't understand why he thinks he can. What does he think my life is? Like, I'm not working and doing shit every single waking hour? I cannot sit on my stoop and talk for 45 minutes every day.
I am not your wife.
I am not your wife.
I am continually shocked by this condition, which is apparently the norm - teachers teaching stuff they don't know. It seems to me that you can't actually do this.
Teachers should have degrees in subjects, THEN learn to teach, not the other way around.
I was roaming a community college once...
Teachers should have degrees in subjects, THEN learn to teach, not the other way around.
I was roaming a community college once...
As I transitioned into public education last year the imposter syndrome was real. It takes time to build that subject knowledge. I’ve been a librarian for years and can research for days. Teaching 8th graders video journalism this year has me searching far and wide for material that doesn’t suck.
🚨NEW BLOG🚨
During #ITT beginning #historyteacher tutorials yesterday, the biggest concern was about developing subject knowledge for #teaching.
A very practical blog with tips for how to develop subject knowledge when it feels impossible.
uonhistoryteachertraining.school.blog/2026/09/19/d...
During #ITT beginning #historyteacher tutorials yesterday, the biggest concern was about developing subject knowledge for #teaching.
A very practical blog with tips for how to develop subject knowledge when it feels impossible.
uonhistoryteachertraining.school.blog/2026/09/19/d...
September 19, 2026 at 3:08 PM
I am continually shocked by this condition, which is apparently the norm - teachers teaching stuff they don't know. It seems to me that you can't actually do this.
Teachers should have degrees in subjects, THEN learn to teach, not the other way around.
I was roaming a community college once...
Teachers should have degrees in subjects, THEN learn to teach, not the other way around.
I was roaming a community college once...
One thing about knowing youre dumb is that it doesn't hurt that much when life shows you how dumb you are. You knew it already, so you just throw up your hands and keep going.
September 19, 2026 at 2:37 PM
One thing about knowing youre dumb is that it doesn't hurt that much when life shows you how dumb you are. You knew it already, so you just throw up your hands and keep going.
A Buddhist from a not-western country who I have come to know a little has been advising me. She talks about an acceptance of your fate, for lack of a better world, which is your nature in the world. Your nature is trained and inherent, but fighting it only hurts you. I hope I have this right.
September 17, 2026 at 10:03 AM
A Buddhist from a not-western country who I have come to know a little has been advising me. She talks about an acceptance of your fate, for lack of a better world, which is your nature in the world. Your nature is trained and inherent, but fighting it only hurts you. I hope I have this right.
Reposted by Laocoon
The Satanic Temple exclusive vinyl variant of Satanic Planet's Dead Deities limited to 666 copies, available for preorder here. Release date: October 30 2026
thesatanictemple.com/products/pre...
thesatanictemple.com/products/pre...
(PREORDER) SATANIC PLANET 'Dead Deities' LP
Preorder Dead Deities, SATANIC PLANET’s new album for Relapse Records, out October 30th. This TST Exclusive 'Sunspot' vinyl will start shipping October 30th, 2026. PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS WILL SHIP SEPA...
thesatanictemple.com
August 28, 2026 at 2:03 PM
The Satanic Temple exclusive vinyl variant of Satanic Planet's Dead Deities limited to 666 copies, available for preorder here. Release date: October 30 2026
thesatanictemple.com/products/pre...
thesatanictemple.com/products/pre...
I thought this was the onion.
President Donald Trump has appointed Erika Kirk, widow of activist Charlie Kirk, to the advisory board overseeing the U.S. Air Force Academy, placing a conservative activist figure on a body reviewing curriculum and discipline.
theintellectualistofficial.substack.com/p/trump-appo...
theintellectualistofficial.substack.com/p/trump-appo...
September 16, 2026 at 12:27 AM
I thought this was the onion.
No, no no. I'm absolutely heartbroken today and for some reason I have no one to tell. I'm embarrassed and hiding, so it's going on the internet. My chest feels empty and vacuous.
If anyone has something to say, say it to me.
If anyone has something to say, say it to me.
September 12, 2026 at 8:09 PM
No, no no. I'm absolutely heartbroken today and for some reason I have no one to tell. I'm embarrassed and hiding, so it's going on the internet. My chest feels empty and vacuous.
If anyone has something to say, say it to me.
If anyone has something to say, say it to me.
Ok, well, I guess I'm back on my bullshit with the Skarsgards and then of course also Joel Kinnaman.
Joel Kinnaman's Scream in Silent Night
ALT: Joel Kinnaman's Scream in Silent Night
static.klipy.com
September 11, 2026 at 10:37 AM
Ok, well, I guess I'm back on my bullshit with the Skarsgards and then of course also Joel Kinnaman.
I have the hots for Hugh Laurie this week. I'm over my Skarsgard era.
Macho Hugh Laurie
ALT: Macho Hugh Laurie
static.klipy.com
September 9, 2026 at 1:08 AM
I have the hots for Hugh Laurie this week. I'm over my Skarsgard era.
Turns out, I'm enraged today too. I'm mad at other people today though.
laocooncitheronia.substack.com/p/anger?r=2z...
laocooncitheronia.substack.com/p/anger?r=2z...
Anger
and its dissipation
laocooncitheronia.substack.com
September 6, 2026 at 11:19 PM
Turns out, I'm enraged today too. I'm mad at other people today though.
laocooncitheronia.substack.com/p/anger?r=2z...
laocooncitheronia.substack.com/p/anger?r=2z...
It means "if you want to teach people to read, we will require you also to let them watch a little bit of propaganda. We promise it will be ok. Just a little. Sure, you can think critically about it if you want! Because propaganda totally doesn't work just through constant exposure."
What the fuck does this even mean for a History classroom?
September 6, 2026 at 11:16 PM
It means "if you want to teach people to read, we will require you also to let them watch a little bit of propaganda. We promise it will be ok. Just a little. Sure, you can think critically about it if you want! Because propaganda totally doesn't work just through constant exposure."
I have often been embarrassed to be an American, but never so deeply reddened in shame as I am of Donald Fucking Trump. He's a fool and a con man. He has no integrity and represents the very worst that humanity has to offer.
I hate him.
I hate him.
September 6, 2026 at 10:02 PM
I have often been embarrassed to be an American, but never so deeply reddened in shame as I am of Donald Fucking Trump. He's a fool and a con man. He has no integrity and represents the very worst that humanity has to offer.
I hate him.
I hate him.
Combined my bowline with a clove hitch and this bad boy today to solve all my rope-related problems. NEW KNOT!
Also - knots have nothing to do with manliness.
www.artofmanliness.com/skills/outdo...
Also - knots have nothing to do with manliness.
www.artofmanliness.com/skills/outdo...
My New Favorite Knot
Discover the Alpine Butterfly knot: an incredibly useful knot that can withstand heavy loads and make camping easier!
www.artofmanliness.com
September 6, 2026 at 6:54 PM
Combined my bowline with a clove hitch and this bad boy today to solve all my rope-related problems. NEW KNOT!
Also - knots have nothing to do with manliness.
www.artofmanliness.com/skills/outdo...
Also - knots have nothing to do with manliness.
www.artofmanliness.com/skills/outdo...
They know full fucking well that we needed those workers. Mexicans were a huge portion of the working class and they were GREAT at it.
Who is going make up the difference in manpower?
Christian nationalist abortion bans are pro-natalist for economic reasons, too.
You are a breeding cow to them.
Who is going make up the difference in manpower?
Christian nationalist abortion bans are pro-natalist for economic reasons, too.
You are a breeding cow to them.
Even from a purely national pride perspective, this requires you to think that the 100 year period from 1926 was a failure for the United States, instead of the zenith of its power, prosperity, and influence
September 5, 2026 at 11:25 PM
They know full fucking well that we needed those workers. Mexicans were a huge portion of the working class and they were GREAT at it.
Who is going make up the difference in manpower?
Christian nationalist abortion bans are pro-natalist for economic reasons, too.
You are a breeding cow to them.
Who is going make up the difference in manpower?
Christian nationalist abortion bans are pro-natalist for economic reasons, too.
You are a breeding cow to them.
What do you do when you are so wrecked tired that you can't do another fucking thing but you are also incapable of relaxing and it is not bedtime?
September 5, 2026 at 10:32 PM
What do you do when you are so wrecked tired that you can't do another fucking thing but you are also incapable of relaxing and it is not bedtime?
This is the kind of afternoon I'm going to have. A little goes a long way.
September 5, 2026 at 8:01 PM
This is the kind of afternoon I'm going to have. A little goes a long way.
When the windshield on my old beater sedan cracks, it's a thousand dollars. When the windshield on the brand new, enormous, rental Canyonero shatters, suddenly windshield installation is exactly the same price as my deductible, which is 400 dollars. You can't help feeling that this shit is a scam.
September 5, 2026 at 12:04 PM
When the windshield on my old beater sedan cracks, it's a thousand dollars. When the windshield on the brand new, enormous, rental Canyonero shatters, suddenly windshield installation is exactly the same price as my deductible, which is 400 dollars. You can't help feeling that this shit is a scam.
Im sad again.
Man, I'm a big mopey fuck right now. I hate myself and I can't seem to figure it out.
Man, I'm a big mopey fuck right now. I hate myself and I can't seem to figure it out.
September 2, 2026 at 12:36 AM
Im sad again.
Man, I'm a big mopey fuck right now. I hate myself and I can't seem to figure it out.
Man, I'm a big mopey fuck right now. I hate myself and I can't seem to figure it out.