DeeDastardly
@mydmac.bsky.social
Pinned
DeeDastardly
@mydmac.bsky.social
· Jan 8
2 factor authentication but for people who knock at your door.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
Created a new body wash for the male groin area.
Head & Boulders
Head & Boulders
August 17, 2026 at 1:05 AM
Created a new body wash for the male groin area.
Head & Boulders
Head & Boulders
Reposted by DeeDastardly
This day in history. 1991. At a Sydney café, Wade Frankum heard a conversation between two teens, killed one with a knife, and six more people and himself with a rifle. Police blamed dubious videos and books in his possession including American Psycho, Crime and Punishment, and Bananas in Pyjamas.
August 17, 2026 at 8:21 AM
This day in history. 1991. At a Sydney café, Wade Frankum heard a conversation between two teens, killed one with a knife, and six more people and himself with a rifle. Police blamed dubious videos and books in his possession including American Psycho, Crime and Punishment, and Bananas in Pyjamas.
Bullshit fact - Australians pronounce Worcestershire sauce as wooshyshia sauce.
August 17, 2026 at 1:44 AM
Bullshit fact - Australians pronounce Worcestershire sauce as wooshyshia sauce.
Karens invest too much in bananas and nuts, but really need to find their marbles.
August 17, 2026 at 12:44 AM
Karens invest too much in bananas and nuts, but really need to find their marbles.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
Bluesky: What’s up?
Me: *takes a deep breath*
Me: *takes a deep breath*
August 14, 2026 at 5:46 PM
Bluesky: What’s up?
Me: *takes a deep breath*
Me: *takes a deep breath*
Reposted by DeeDastardly
He who laughs last was slowest to get the joke.
August 13, 2026 at 2:20 PM
He who laughs last was slowest to get the joke.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
I'm stuck somewhere between the future looks bright & life has passed me by.
August 2, 2026 at 4:09 PM
I'm stuck somewhere between the future looks bright & life has passed me by.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
A cancelled work meeting shines light into darkness.
August 6, 2026 at 1:07 PM
A cancelled work meeting shines light into darkness.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
My wife believes that the secret to a happy marriage is low expectations and high-quality earplugs.
August 14, 2026 at 12:52 PM
My wife believes that the secret to a happy marriage is low expectations and high-quality earplugs.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
Looking back, I have trouble deciding which day to rue.
August 12, 2026 at 9:29 AM
Looking back, I have trouble deciding which day to rue.
If you listen very carefully you can hear the regression of our species.
August 14, 2026 at 1:27 PM
If you listen very carefully you can hear the regression of our species.
I only drink wine because the cheese demands it.
August 12, 2026 at 9:11 AM
I only drink wine because the cheese demands it.
Moral society? Ain’t no one needs that.
August 11, 2026 at 4:27 AM
Moral society? Ain’t no one needs that.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
If I’m being an asshole, it’s probably because I’m hungry.
If I’m still being an asshole after I eat, it’s probably because I’m an asshole.
If I’m still being an asshole after I eat, it’s probably because I’m an asshole.
August 10, 2026 at 11:14 AM
If I’m being an asshole, it’s probably because I’m hungry.
If I’m still being an asshole after I eat, it’s probably because I’m an asshole.
If I’m still being an asshole after I eat, it’s probably because I’m an asshole.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
turning my rv into a food truck, come have breakfast at the Winnebagel
August 8, 2026 at 5:19 PM
turning my rv into a food truck, come have breakfast at the Winnebagel
Reposted by DeeDastardly
It's not you, it's your face
August 10, 2026 at 2:36 AM
It's not you, it's your face
Reposted by DeeDastardly
🎶
When the moon hits her eye
Like a big pizza pie
That’s amore…
And when the jizz hits her face
All over the place
That’s bukkake…
When the moon hits her eye
Like a big pizza pie
That’s amore…
And when the jizz hits her face
All over the place
That’s bukkake…
August 11, 2026 at 2:30 AM
🎶
When the moon hits her eye
Like a big pizza pie
That’s amore…
And when the jizz hits her face
All over the place
That’s bukkake…
When the moon hits her eye
Like a big pizza pie
That’s amore…
And when the jizz hits her face
All over the place
That’s bukkake…
Reposted by DeeDastardly
The hand job is the chicken salad sandwich of sexual activities 
August 11, 2026 at 1:03 AM
The hand job is the chicken salad sandwich of sexual activities 
Reposted by DeeDastardly
A French exit is when you tongue-kiss everyone on your way out.
August 10, 2026 at 6:52 PM
A French exit is when you tongue-kiss everyone on your way out.
I’m not a lover or a fighter, I’m more potato.
August 11, 2026 at 4:11 AM
I’m not a lover or a fighter, I’m more potato.
Always the bridesmaid punting the bride’s bouquet and never the bride.
July 16, 2026 at 11:17 AM
Always the bridesmaid punting the bride’s bouquet and never the bride.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
I may not be fluent, but I can be silent in many languages.
November 24, 2025 at 3:28 PM
I may not be fluent, but I can be silent in many languages.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
This day in history. 1439. In response to the Black Death king Henry VI banned kissing in England. "Go straight to third base," he said, "you're all going to die anyway."
July 16, 2026 at 8:13 AM
This day in history. 1439. In response to the Black Death king Henry VI banned kissing in England. "Go straight to third base," he said, "you're all going to die anyway."
Reposted by DeeDastardly
She said, "You never listen." I heard her say that three times today.
That's irony, folks—and she didn't appreciate me pointing it out.
That's irony, folks—and she didn't appreciate me pointing it out.
July 12, 2026 at 3:06 PM
She said, "You never listen." I heard her say that three times today.
That's irony, folks—and she didn't appreciate me pointing it out.
That's irony, folks—and she didn't appreciate me pointing it out.
Reposted by DeeDastardly
Whenever I smell Dräkkar Noír, I always expect to turn and see the 90s standing next to me
July 14, 2026 at 5:26 PM
Whenever I smell Dräkkar Noír, I always expect to turn and see the 90s standing next to me