Ned Hartley
@nedhartley.com
Writer. Comics include Bananaman for the Beano and various for 2000 AD. Books include Create Your Own Comics, Peaches’ Creatures, Science of Marvel Superheroes & Ladybird Big Book of Dead Things.
Pic by Wayne Thompson.
Website: www.nedhartley.com
Pic by Wayne Thompson.
Website: www.nedhartley.com
Reposted by Ned Hartley
Greg Davies: So, none of our contestants have been able to do Penelope’s task. String her husband‘s bow and fire and arrow through axe heads.
Alex Horne: Well, we do have one more contestant, the elderly beggar. And I think you’ll see why we saved this one to last.
Alex Horne: Well, we do have one more contestant, the elderly beggar. And I think you’ll see why we saved this one to last.
Alexander the Great: I think I smashed that.
Alex Horne: Well… it doesn’t say anywhere that you can’t cut the Gordian Knot.
Greg Davies: I’m going to let him have it. Five points.
Alex Horne: Well… it doesn’t say anywhere that you can’t cut the Gordian Knot.
Greg Davies: I’m going to let him have it. Five points.
Greg Davies: Walked out of the underworld. Didn't look back once. Job done!
Orpheus: Thanks
Alex Horne: We did want to show you one more clip of when he came out...
Orpheus: Thanks
Alex Horne: We did want to show you one more clip of when he came out...
March 3, 2026 at 11:00 PM
Greg Davies: So, none of our contestants have been able to do Penelope’s task. String her husband‘s bow and fire and arrow through axe heads.
Alex Horne: Well, we do have one more contestant, the elderly beggar. And I think you’ll see why we saved this one to last.
Alex Horne: Well, we do have one more contestant, the elderly beggar. And I think you’ll see why we saved this one to last.
That’s an interesting post, but I think this topic is too nuanced to be properly addressed over social media. How about we just scream at each other in bad faith instead?
August 17, 2026 at 9:34 PM
That’s an interesting post, but I think this topic is too nuanced to be properly addressed over social media. How about we just scream at each other in bad faith instead?
Reposted by Ned Hartley
"More homework before Avengers Doomsday!" I snarl at my kids as I sit them down before yet another X-Men film.
They are crying. I do not care.
They are crying. I do not care.
July 27, 2026 at 2:39 PM
"More homework before Avengers Doomsday!" I snarl at my kids as I sit them down before yet another X-Men film.
They are crying. I do not care.
They are crying. I do not care.
“We’re gonna have soldiers who can foxtrot better than anyone else in the world”
Trump: "The best thing and the biggest thing we're doing is we're building a ballroom,and a tremendous military center. That was supposed to be to top secret, but it's no longer topic secret, because whatever you do you get sued."
August 17, 2026 at 7:47 PM
“We’re gonna have soldiers who can foxtrot better than anyone else in the world”
The bit in Peter Jackson’s Get Back doc where Magic Alex hands Lennon an utterly unplayable bass/guitar swivel hybrid is hilarious. The look on Paul’s face alone is wonderful.
What the world really needs is a Magic Alex biopic
August 17, 2026 at 5:30 PM
The bit in Peter Jackson’s Get Back doc where Magic Alex hands Lennon an utterly unplayable bass/guitar swivel hybrid is hilarious. The look on Paul’s face alone is wonderful.
Reposted by Ned Hartley
Me: Here's a cup of tea. Do you want anything else?
Her: Maybe a little cake?
Me: [Clears throat]
He's going the DISTANCE
He's going for SPEED
Her: Maybe a little cake?
Me: [Clears throat]
He's going the DISTANCE
He's going for SPEED
August 14, 2026 at 10:38 AM
Me: Here's a cup of tea. Do you want anything else?
Her: Maybe a little cake?
Me: [Clears throat]
He's going the DISTANCE
He's going for SPEED
Her: Maybe a little cake?
Me: [Clears throat]
He's going the DISTANCE
He's going for SPEED
Reposted by Ned Hartley
New Hero’s Journey for 2026
Act 1
- The Recapping Of The Franchise
- The Tolerating Of The Sidekick
Act 2
- The Running Between Plot Points
- The Doing The Thing That Was On The Poster
Act 3
- The Changing Of The Costume So We Can Sell Another Action Figure
- The Waiting For The Post Credits Scene
Act 1
- The Recapping Of The Franchise
- The Tolerating Of The Sidekick
Act 2
- The Running Between Plot Points
- The Doing The Thing That Was On The Poster
Act 3
- The Changing Of The Costume So We Can Sell Another Action Figure
- The Waiting For The Post Credits Scene
August 15, 2026 at 2:34 PM
New Hero’s Journey for 2026
Act 1
- The Recapping Of The Franchise
- The Tolerating Of The Sidekick
Act 2
- The Running Between Plot Points
- The Doing The Thing That Was On The Poster
Act 3
- The Changing Of The Costume So We Can Sell Another Action Figure
- The Waiting For The Post Credits Scene
Act 1
- The Recapping Of The Franchise
- The Tolerating Of The Sidekick
Act 2
- The Running Between Plot Points
- The Doing The Thing That Was On The Poster
Act 3
- The Changing Of The Costume So We Can Sell Another Action Figure
- The Waiting For The Post Credits Scene
Reposted by Ned Hartley
All of these weirdo’s phrases make much more sense if you add “Mr Bond” after them.
"This is not generosity. It is suicidal empathy" writes Robert Jenrick (Telegraph www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2026/08...) quotes in para 3 of the BBC report, with a link.
"Suicidal empathy" is also the core phrase Elon Musk wants to popularise to promote remigration, political violence + civil war
"Suicidal empathy" is also the core phrase Elon Musk wants to popularise to promote remigration, political violence + civil war
August 16, 2026 at 10:21 AM
All of these weirdo’s phrases make much more sense if you add “Mr Bond” after them.
All of these weirdo’s phrases make much more sense if you add “Mr Bond” after them.
"This is not generosity. It is suicidal empathy" writes Robert Jenrick (Telegraph www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2026/08...) quotes in para 3 of the BBC report, with a link.
"Suicidal empathy" is also the core phrase Elon Musk wants to popularise to promote remigration, political violence + civil war
"Suicidal empathy" is also the core phrase Elon Musk wants to popularise to promote remigration, political violence + civil war
August 16, 2026 at 10:21 AM
All of these weirdo’s phrases make much more sense if you add “Mr Bond” after them.
New Hero’s Journey for 2026
Act 1
- The Recapping Of The Franchise
- The Tolerating Of The Sidekick
Act 2
- The Running Between Plot Points
- The Doing The Thing That Was On The Poster
Act 3
- The Changing Of The Costume So We Can Sell Another Action Figure
- The Waiting For The Post Credits Scene
Act 1
- The Recapping Of The Franchise
- The Tolerating Of The Sidekick
Act 2
- The Running Between Plot Points
- The Doing The Thing That Was On The Poster
Act 3
- The Changing Of The Costume So We Can Sell Another Action Figure
- The Waiting For The Post Credits Scene
August 15, 2026 at 2:34 PM
New Hero’s Journey for 2026
Act 1
- The Recapping Of The Franchise
- The Tolerating Of The Sidekick
Act 2
- The Running Between Plot Points
- The Doing The Thing That Was On The Poster
Act 3
- The Changing Of The Costume So We Can Sell Another Action Figure
- The Waiting For The Post Credits Scene
Act 1
- The Recapping Of The Franchise
- The Tolerating Of The Sidekick
Act 2
- The Running Between Plot Points
- The Doing The Thing That Was On The Poster
Act 3
- The Changing Of The Costume So We Can Sell Another Action Figure
- The Waiting For The Post Credits Scene
You can’t guarantee these tickets. Bayeux beware.
Missed out on tickets to see the Bayeux tapestry in London? A £1,000 hotel stay will get you in
Missed out on tickets to see the Bayeux tapestry in London? A £1,000 hotel stay will get you in
British Museum’s £33 tickets sold out in a day but some slots have been reserved for guests at five-star One Aldwych
Those hoping to snare a glimpse of the Bayeux tapestry when it comes to the British Museum this September faced nine-hour online queues, with the £33 tickets sold out within a day.
But the monied guests of a five-star hotel in Covent Garden have not had to go to such arduous lengths to get a view of the nearly 1,000-year-old depiction of William the Conqueror’s victory over King Harold II of England at Hastings in 1066. Continue reading...
www.theguardian.com
August 15, 2026 at 1:16 PM
You can’t guarantee these tickets. Bayeux beware.
The current Fraction/Jimenez run on Batman is pretty great, isn’t it?
August 15, 2026 at 12:55 PM
The current Fraction/Jimenez run on Batman is pretty great, isn’t it?
Enjoying my first day filming James Bond. Pretty easy job following him as he walks across a white background. I don’t think he’s seen me. Oh wait, he’s turning to-
August 14, 2026 at 9:09 PM
Enjoying my first day filming James Bond. Pretty easy job following him as he walks across a white background. I don’t think he’s seen me. Oh wait, he’s turning to-
The richest, most embarrassing person in the world.
August 14, 2026 at 9:06 PM
The richest, most embarrassing person in the world.
Meanwhile, across town Samantha was lighting some fires of her own
Carrie Bradshaw Reflects in Sex And The City
ALT: Carrie Bradshaw Reflects in Sex And The City
static.klipy.com
August 14, 2026 at 6:39 PM
Meanwhile, across town Samantha was lighting some fires of her own
He’s allowed one more and then we take Emergency Alert privileges from Burnham
August 14, 2026 at 6:36 PM
He’s allowed one more and then we take Emergency Alert privileges from Burnham
Reposted by Ned Hartley
Yeah we know love x
August 14, 2026 at 6:11 PM
Yeah we know love x
For sale, disposable bbq, never used.
August 14, 2026 at 6:15 PM
For sale, disposable bbq, never used.
No one:
Absolutely no one:
The Government: 🚨🚨🚨EVERYBODY FUCKING PANIC IT’S FUCKING HOT FUCKING HELLLLLL 🚨🚨🚨
Absolutely no one:
The Government: 🚨🚨🚨EVERYBODY FUCKING PANIC IT’S FUCKING HOT FUCKING HELLLLLL 🚨🚨🚨
August 14, 2026 at 6:12 PM
No one:
Absolutely no one:
The Government: 🚨🚨🚨EVERYBODY FUCKING PANIC IT’S FUCKING HOT FUCKING HELLLLLL 🚨🚨🚨
Absolutely no one:
The Government: 🚨🚨🚨EVERYBODY FUCKING PANIC IT’S FUCKING HOT FUCKING HELLLLLL 🚨🚨🚨
So who want to come round mine for a barbe— [Phone wails like crazy] never mind.
August 14, 2026 at 6:06 PM
So who want to come round mine for a barbe— [Phone wails like crazy] never mind.
🚨This is a government alert from Andy Burnham. Oasis tickets go on sale next week.
August 14, 2026 at 6:05 PM
🚨This is a government alert from Andy Burnham. Oasis tickets go on sale next week.
Every single person in the UK just shat themselves.
August 14, 2026 at 6:03 PM
Every single person in the UK just shat themselves.
Did the government just tell me it was hot?
August 14, 2026 at 6:02 PM
Did the government just tell me it was hot?
Reposted by Ned Hartley
This is so great.
Many years ago, when I first started writing for The Dark Side (Britain's oldest horror mag) we had a bit of a friendly pub quiz rivalry with Empire magazine for a while.
We kept losing though. Until one week we discovered a secret weapon. /1
We kept losing though. Until one week we discovered a secret weapon. /1
that's right, Bruce Campbell www.mensjournal.com/entertainmen...
August 14, 2026 at 10:53 AM
This is so great.