Phil W. Bayles
@philwbayles.com
Serious ideas from a silly man. Connoisseur of Dad jokes. Fervent hater of generative AI.
Words at 50-Word Stories, Silly Goose Press and more. Currently working on my first novel.
If found, please return to the nearest multiplex. (He/Him)
Words at 50-Word Stories, Silly Goose Press and more. Currently working on my first novel.
If found, please return to the nearest multiplex. (He/Him)
Pinned
Phil W. Bayles
@philwbayles.com
· Nov 21
O Time Thy Pyramids — SillyGoosePress
For one brief, shining moment, as I pulled my fingers away from my typewriter, I thought I had a whole soliloquy. Then I read the first two lines. To be or not to be, that is the question;...
sillygoosepress.com
My latest short story is now available to read online at @sillygoosepress.bsky.social!
It's called "O Time Thy Pyramids" and it's about writer's block and struggling to live up to The Greats.
Also orangutans.
It's called "O Time Thy Pyramids" and it's about writer's block and struggling to live up to The Greats.
Also orangutans.
Every time a siren passes me I have to bite my tongue to stop myself saying "He's not gonna sell much ice cream going at that speed", in my best Eric Morecambe voice.
Every. Single. Time.
Every. Single. Time.
What's the stupidest joke you most have to fight the urge to tell? Mine is not replying to questions about whether I have any allergies with 'we'll find out together, I guess'.
October 1, 2026 at 1:24 PM
Every time a siren passes me I have to bite my tongue to stop myself saying "He's not gonna sell much ice cream going at that speed", in my best Eric Morecambe voice.
Every. Single. Time.
Every. Single. Time.
My five favourite British movies:
Four Lions
Chicken Run
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
When The Wind Blows
The World's End
(Honestly, I could do a whole list that was *just* Aardman movies.)
Four Lions
Chicken Run
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
When The Wind Blows
The World's End
(Honestly, I could do a whole list that was *just* Aardman movies.)
Fave British Films (Five)
Distant Voices, Still Lives
Road
Yellow Submarine
A Canterbury Tale
Wonderland
Distant Voices, Still Lives
Road
Yellow Submarine
A Canterbury Tale
Wonderland
My Favourite Five British Films are:
The Ipcress File
Under The Skin
I Know Where I'm Going!
The Third Man
The Girl Chewing Gum
The Ipcress File
Under The Skin
I Know Where I'm Going!
The Third Man
The Girl Chewing Gum
September 29, 2026 at 9:08 AM
My five favourite British movies:
Four Lions
Chicken Run
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
When The Wind Blows
The World's End
(Honestly, I could do a whole list that was *just* Aardman movies.)
Four Lions
Chicken Run
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
When The Wind Blows
The World's End
(Honestly, I could do a whole list that was *just* Aardman movies.)
I've been excited to see #RayGunn for a long time now, and the trailer looks pretty damn great, but I keep getting distracted by Sam Rockwell's voice coming out of a character who should CLEARLY be voiced by Christian Slater.
Ray Gunn | Official Trailer | Netflix
YouTube video by Netflix
www.youtube.com
September 25, 2026 at 1:50 PM
I've been excited to see #RayGunn for a long time now, and the trailer looks pretty damn great, but I keep getting distracted by Sam Rockwell's voice coming out of a character who should CLEARLY be voiced by Christian Slater.
Reposted by Phil W. Bayles
After swearing off podcasts years earlier, a vapid host is forced to journey across the post-apocalyptic America he’s responsible for destroying, constantly challenged to pop out his microphone one last time in: OLD MAN ROGAN.
September 25, 2026 at 12:37 PM
After swearing off podcasts years earlier, a vapid host is forced to journey across the post-apocalyptic America he’s responsible for destroying, constantly challenged to pop out his microphone one last time in: OLD MAN ROGAN.
Reposted by Phil W. Bayles
I say this without exaggeration: I would genuinely rather die than willingly trade away whatever faculties I have. I wouldn't trade it for anything, but especially not for this bullshit-machine.
Life has a way of eroding our bodies and minds as it is; I don't intend to give it a fucking assist.
Life has a way of eroding our bodies and minds as it is; I don't intend to give it a fucking assist.
Ezra Klein asked Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang about AI making kids worse at math and reading. Huang’s reply: “Does it matter?”
Then he said he doesn’t know his own address or phone number. “We’re going to lose some fine intellectual dexterity.” www.nytimes.com/2026/09/23/o...
Then he said he doesn’t know his own address or phone number. “We’re going to lose some fine intellectual dexterity.” www.nytimes.com/2026/09/23/o...
September 24, 2026 at 6:19 PM
I say this without exaggeration: I would genuinely rather die than willingly trade away whatever faculties I have. I wouldn't trade it for anything, but especially not for this bullshit-machine.
Life has a way of eroding our bodies and minds as it is; I don't intend to give it a fucking assist.
Life has a way of eroding our bodies and minds as it is; I don't intend to give it a fucking assist.
Top row: Best games from my teens
Second row: Best games from my twenties
Third row: Best games from my thirties
Second row: Best games from my twenties
Third row: Best games from my thirties
September 22, 2026 at 10:46 AM
Top row: Best games from my teens
Second row: Best games from my twenties
Third row: Best games from my thirties
Second row: Best games from my twenties
Third row: Best games from my thirties
There's a new China Miéville novel out this year?!
Probably the scariest and also most intellectually rigorous uncanny novel I have ever read. My review for the NYT. Free link. www.nytimes.com/2026/09/17/b...
Book Review: ‘The Rouse,’ by China Miéville (Gift Article)
“The Rouse,” by China Miéville, is a decade-spanning epic about a secret military unit trying to raise and weaponize the dead.
www.nytimes.com
September 17, 2026 at 1:44 PM
There's a new China Miéville novel out this year?!
If the people of Pissington really want to leave the UK, it's our patriotic duty to go down there with drilling equipment, lift the whole place out of Oxfordshire and dump it into the middle of the North Sea.
Absolutely pathetic town full of absolutely pathetic people.
Absolutely pathetic town full of absolutely pathetic people.
September 16, 2026 at 8:14 AM
If the people of Pissington really want to leave the UK, it's our patriotic duty to go down there with drilling equipment, lift the whole place out of Oxfordshire and dump it into the middle of the North Sea.
Absolutely pathetic town full of absolutely pathetic people.
Absolutely pathetic town full of absolutely pathetic people.
Sandwich shops are just reinventing the burger now.
ordered a meatball sandwich and it came as a square focaccia with one single large meatball squarely in the middle of it and I just don't know how to feel about that, whole day feels askew now
September 15, 2026 at 10:41 AM
Sandwich shops are just reinventing the burger now.
For fuck's sake, this is just that one episode of Black Mirror!
Apple announces 'Live Rewind' for the new Apple Watch, letting users pull up the last 15 seconds of nearby conversation.
September 10, 2026 at 9:36 AM
For fuck's sake, this is just that one episode of Black Mirror!
My hatred for Sam Altman has reached a point of incoherence I can only compare to Madeline Kahn in the 'Clue' movie.
"Flames... on the side of my face..."
"Flames... on the side of my face..."
Putting aside Sam Altman just continuing to emit huge lies constantly, this is an amazing example of what I mean when I talk about how GenAI is replacing *extremely low energy* digital tasks with *WAY WAY HIGHER ENERGY* replacements that *do not even work*
Why TF is anyone using ChatGPT as a timer!
Why TF is anyone using ChatGPT as a timer!
Sam Altman Says It'll Take Another Year Before ChatGPT Can Start a Timer
An $852 billion company, ladies and gentlemen.
gizmodo.com
September 10, 2026 at 8:53 AM
My hatred for Sam Altman has reached a point of incoherence I can only compare to Madeline Kahn in the 'Clue' movie.
"Flames... on the side of my face..."
"Flames... on the side of my face..."
I don't often remember my dreams, but last night's is crystal clear in my head. I was playing Willy Loman in an amateur production of "Death of a Salesman" but didn't know any of my lines, so I was desperately trying to find a script before the house lights went down.
September 9, 2026 at 7:49 AM
I don't often remember my dreams, but last night's is crystal clear in my head. I was playing Willy Loman in an amateur production of "Death of a Salesman" but didn't know any of my lines, so I was desperately trying to find a script before the house lights went down.
I refuse to believe that five years have passed between those two photos. I brought my daughter home from the hospital yesterday; how the hell is she going to school already?!
September 7, 2026 at 9:41 AM
I refuse to believe that five years have passed between those two photos. I brought my daughter home from the hospital yesterday; how the hell is she going to school already?!
Reposted by Phil W. Bayles
Cold take: It's good if racists are afraid to open their fucking mouths. If more bigots were afraid to "speak up", it'd be the sign of a healthier society
ah yes once again the racists are the real victims
September 2, 2026 at 8:27 PM
Cold take: It's good if racists are afraid to open their fucking mouths. If more bigots were afraid to "speak up", it'd be the sign of a healthier society
"Without saying your age, what is your favourite movie that came out when you were 20 years old?"
September 2, 2026 at 8:37 AM
"Without saying your age, what is your favourite movie that came out when you were 20 years old?"
Gonna tell my kids this was Tim Pool.
September 2, 2026 at 8:29 AM
Gonna tell my kids this was Tim Pool.
I recently found out that Ask.com — the website formerly known as Ask Jeeves — was shut down earlier this year, and it made me unexpectedly melancholy. So I wrote a short story about it.
Letter of Resignation
A Short Story About A Butler
philwbayles.com
September 1, 2026 at 3:17 PM
I recently found out that Ask.com — the website formerly known as Ask Jeeves — was shut down earlier this year, and it made me unexpectedly melancholy. So I wrote a short story about it.
Mispronouncing words is fun and we should all feel comfortable owning up to it.
I was in my late teens before I learned that the stuff records are made from wasn't called "vin-yull."
I was in my late teens before I learned that the stuff records are made from wasn't called "vin-yull."
macabre = “muh-KAHB”
Worcestershire = “WOOSS-ter-sheer”
omnipotent = “ahm-NI-puh-tunt”
reticent = “RET-uh-sunt”
epitome = “ih-PIT-uh-mee”
myriad = "MEER-ee-ud"
Never make fun of someone if they mispronounce a word.
It means they learned it by reading.
Worcestershire = “WOOSS-ter-sheer”
omnipotent = “ahm-NI-puh-tunt”
reticent = “RET-uh-sunt”
epitome = “ih-PIT-uh-mee”
myriad = "MEER-ee-ud"
Never make fun of someone if they mispronounce a word.
It means they learned it by reading.
September 1, 2026 at 9:41 AM
Mispronouncing words is fun and we should all feel comfortable owning up to it.
I was in my late teens before I learned that the stuff records are made from wasn't called "vin-yull."
I was in my late teens before I learned that the stuff records are made from wasn't called "vin-yull."
I misread his as "space prison plan" and got very excited for a moment...
New prison space plan announced, as Burnham set to address Commons for first time as PM
Under the plans, "unused office space, laundry rooms and storage areas" will be turned into cells, after the government tightened an early release scheme.
www.bbc.co.uk
September 1, 2026 at 7:48 AM
I misread his as "space prison plan" and got very excited for a moment...
It's often been said, but bears repeating:
Muppet Christmas Carol works so well because Michael Caine treated all his costars like fellow human actors.
Muppet Treasure Island works so well because Tim Curry pretended to be a Muppet.
Muppet Christmas Carol works so well because Michael Caine treated all his costars like fellow human actors.
Muppet Treasure Island works so well because Tim Curry pretended to be a Muppet.
I really cannot think of a greater honor than to have the Muppets say this about you upon your passing
August 26, 2026 at 7:24 PM
It's often been said, but bears repeating:
Muppet Christmas Carol works so well because Michael Caine treated all his costars like fellow human actors.
Muppet Treasure Island works so well because Tim Curry pretended to be a Muppet.
Muppet Christmas Carol works so well because Michael Caine treated all his costars like fellow human actors.
Muppet Treasure Island works so well because Tim Curry pretended to be a Muppet.
I was never really a big Rocky Horror fan the way some of my friends were, but I Tim Curry's wonderful voice was *everywhere* in my teens. I can't read "A Series of Unfortunate Events" without thinking of his narration.
August 26, 2026 at 4:11 PM
I was never really a big Rocky Horror fan the way some of my friends were, but I Tim Curry's wonderful voice was *everywhere* in my teens. I can't read "A Series of Unfortunate Events" without thinking of his narration.
Are we going to have to endure the death of every octogenarian in the world before the Universe finally picks the right one?
August 26, 2026 at 4:07 PM
Are we going to have to endure the death of every octogenarian in the world before the Universe finally picks the right one?
Reposted by Phil W. Bayles
of all the tim curry performances that have shaped me, i want to shout out his unmatched performances on the series of unfortunate events audiobooks
no multi-million production has managed to capture the world, energy, and mystery of my favorite books the way my friend tim in a booth could 👁️
no multi-million production has managed to capture the world, energy, and mystery of my favorite books the way my friend tim in a booth could 👁️
August 26, 2026 at 4:01 PM
of all the tim curry performances that have shaped me, i want to shout out his unmatched performances on the series of unfortunate events audiobooks
no multi-million production has managed to capture the world, energy, and mystery of my favorite books the way my friend tim in a booth could 👁️
no multi-million production has managed to capture the world, energy, and mystery of my favorite books the way my friend tim in a booth could 👁️
Heartbreaking: the worst person you know etc etc...
Seriously, though, they couldn't have asked Jacqueline Wilson?
Seriously, though, they couldn't have asked Jacqueline Wilson?
How the BBC is reporting Dolly Parton's passing.
August 26, 2026 at 8:30 AM
Heartbreaking: the worst person you know etc etc...
Seriously, though, they couldn't have asked Jacqueline Wilson?
Seriously, though, they couldn't have asked Jacqueline Wilson?
I mean, I just had to watch #9To5 for the first time tonight.
What an absolute treasure of a movie. Can't believe I'd never seen it before.
What an absolute treasure of a movie. Can't believe I'd never seen it before.
Dollyparton Laughing
Alt: Lily Tomlin, Dolly Parton and Jane Fonda in "9 To 5"
static.klipy.com
August 25, 2026 at 9:00 PM
I mean, I just had to watch #9To5 for the first time tonight.
What an absolute treasure of a movie. Can't believe I'd never seen it before.
What an absolute treasure of a movie. Can't believe I'd never seen it before.