Salsabeard
@salsabeard.bsky.social
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I’ve decided I’m not sucking in my stomach today.
October 25, 2025 at 7:59 PM
I’ve decided I’m not sucking in my stomach today.
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I just saw a shadow thrown by a cloud that was shaped like a penis, does that mean 6 more weeks of wiener?
November 19, 2025 at 2:32 PM
I just saw a shadow thrown by a cloud that was shaped like a penis, does that mean 6 more weeks of wiener?
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My cupcakes would fix you.
November 18, 2025 at 7:21 PM
My cupcakes would fix you.
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“My support for the release of the Epstein documents will be entirely based on what the President tells me to do.”
-Mike Johnson
-Mike Johnson
November 18, 2025 at 1:25 PM
“My support for the release of the Epstein documents will be entirely based on what the President tells me to do.”
-Mike Johnson
-Mike Johnson
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Before you sit down, make sure you can reach the remote.
November 18, 2025 at 12:25 PM
Before you sit down, make sure you can reach the remote.
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Pronounces macho man like nacho man.
November 16, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Pronounces macho man like nacho man.
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*brings a pizza to a knife fight*
November 16, 2025 at 5:15 AM
*brings a pizza to a knife fight*
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Woke up thinking about pizza again.
November 16, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Woke up thinking about pizza again.
I’ll share my dingdong if you share you cupcakes
November 16, 2025 at 4:56 PM
I’ll share my dingdong if you share you cupcakes
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A store for people over 40 called Bed, Bath and Beyond Exhausted.
November 13, 2025 at 10:22 PM
A store for people over 40 called Bed, Bath and Beyond Exhausted.
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Sorry I’m late, I’m exhausted.
November 14, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Sorry I’m late, I’m exhausted.
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Kiss me, I taste like cake.
November 11, 2025 at 3:33 PM
Kiss me, I taste like cake.
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*sitting on his face*
Do you want cake?
Do you want cake?
January 21, 2025 at 1:24 AM
*sitting on his face*
Do you want cake?
Do you want cake?
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What if we made out in the snack aisle at the grocery store.
November 11, 2025 at 8:26 PM
What if we made out in the snack aisle at the grocery store.
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coffee so strong i need a surge protector for my central nervous system
November 12, 2025 at 12:29 PM
coffee so strong i need a surge protector for my central nervous system
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Goodbye Cocktober.
Hello stache and beard rides November.
Hello stache and beard rides November.
November 9, 2025 at 4:53 PM
Goodbye Cocktober.
Hello stache and beard rides November.
Hello stache and beard rides November.
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What if we made out in the liquor store.
November 11, 2025 at 4:48 AM
What if we made out in the liquor store.
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I can do hard things. I think.
November 10, 2025 at 7:01 PM
I can do hard things. I think.
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im a daytime midweek bowling alley ten.
November 9, 2025 at 7:46 PM
im a daytime midweek bowling alley ten.
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this jacket isn’t very straight at all
November 9, 2025 at 2:47 PM
this jacket isn’t very straight at all
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This is my crippling anxiety post. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
November 8, 2025 at 1:10 PM
This is my crippling anxiety post. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
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If you’ve dated more than one Walter you’re letting them Walts right into your life.
November 9, 2025 at 2:32 PM
If you’ve dated more than one Walter you’re letting them Walts right into your life.
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Ok we’re at the ‘looking for something and instead find a massive clue’ stage of this mystery.
November 9, 2025 at 1:50 PM
Ok we’re at the ‘looking for something and instead find a massive clue’ stage of this mystery.
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In high school, I was voted most likely to die one day short of retirement
November 9, 2025 at 10:40 PM
In high school, I was voted most likely to die one day short of retirement