@thebestlancifer.bsky.social
Reposted
Reposted
Please make sure each person gets one of these at my funeral. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
October 6, 2026 at 4:28 PM
Please make sure each person gets one of these at my funeral. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Reposted
Reposted
I just found out that a local theater is doing The Rocky Horror Show! Live performance, audience participation, full band!
You guys, I just bought tickets, and I'm fucking crying right now.
Over the Rocky Horror Show, I've gone full Samwise. "There's some good in this world..."
Someone slap me.
You guys, I just bought tickets, and I'm fucking crying right now.
Over the Rocky Horror Show, I've gone full Samwise. "There's some good in this world..."
Someone slap me.
October 7, 2026 at 12:58 AM
I just found out that a local theater is doing The Rocky Horror Show! Live performance, audience participation, full band!
You guys, I just bought tickets, and I'm fucking crying right now.
Over the Rocky Horror Show, I've gone full Samwise. "There's some good in this world..."
Someone slap me.
You guys, I just bought tickets, and I'm fucking crying right now.
Over the Rocky Horror Show, I've gone full Samwise. "There's some good in this world..."
Someone slap me.
I just mentioned to the cashier at the grocery store that I got my covid and flu shots last week. That bitch said she assumed I wouldn't be the type to get vaccinated based on my personality! WTF I've never been so insulted. I called antivaxers dumb assholes and I hope she took it personally!
October 5, 2026 at 4:54 PM
I just mentioned to the cashier at the grocery store that I got my covid and flu shots last week. That bitch said she assumed I wouldn't be the type to get vaccinated based on my personality! WTF I've never been so insulted. I called antivaxers dumb assholes and I hope she took it personally!
Its frustrating being poor when you know you could be rich as hell, but you're too moral to start scamming christians.
October 4, 2026 at 3:16 PM
Its frustrating being poor when you know you could be rich as hell, but you're too moral to start scamming christians.
One of my neighbors has hired a band.
At least five members, not a sliver of talent among them.
It sounds like none of them have been playing the same song at once, and I may go to jail tonight for inserting the drums into the drummer.
At least five members, not a sliver of talent among them.
It sounds like none of them have been playing the same song at once, and I may go to jail tonight for inserting the drums into the drummer.
October 4, 2026 at 4:01 AM
One of my neighbors has hired a band.
At least five members, not a sliver of talent among them.
It sounds like none of them have been playing the same song at once, and I may go to jail tonight for inserting the drums into the drummer.
At least five members, not a sliver of talent among them.
It sounds like none of them have been playing the same song at once, and I may go to jail tonight for inserting the drums into the drummer.
When you mute an annoying account, and the app freaks out because it has to hide the hundreds of posts that fool made in the past couple hours.
October 4, 2026 at 2:48 AM
When you mute an annoying account, and the app freaks out because it has to hide the hundreds of posts that fool made in the past couple hours.
I hope taco stand Karen goes through with it.
Bye bitch!
Bye bitch!
October 2, 2026 at 4:50 PM
I hope taco stand Karen goes through with it.
Bye bitch!
Bye bitch!
My dog just checked to make sure I was ok because my arms are moving around like crazy, conducting and fist bumping the badass music I'm listening to.
I love this big dummy so damn much!
I love this big dummy so damn much!
October 1, 2026 at 11:19 PM
My dog just checked to make sure I was ok because my arms are moving around like crazy, conducting and fist bumping the badass music I'm listening to.
I love this big dummy so damn much!
I love this big dummy so damn much!
The forecast for the next week has temps at 100 for at least three days, in the San Joaquin Valley, in October.
I'm so angry.
Tease me with sweater weather, then pop back up to 100 damn degrees in the best month of the year THAT IS IN AUTUMN?!
I'm so angry.
Tease me with sweater weather, then pop back up to 100 damn degrees in the best month of the year THAT IS IN AUTUMN?!
September 30, 2026 at 8:39 PM
The forecast for the next week has temps at 100 for at least three days, in the San Joaquin Valley, in October.
I'm so angry.
Tease me with sweater weather, then pop back up to 100 damn degrees in the best month of the year THAT IS IN AUTUMN?!
I'm so angry.
Tease me with sweater weather, then pop back up to 100 damn degrees in the best month of the year THAT IS IN AUTUMN?!
Yeah, a lot of people are garbage.
But also, you're in a supermarket with aisles. No one is following you, you're just in the way.
But also, you're in a supermarket with aisles. No one is following you, you're just in the way.
September 29, 2026 at 5:49 PM
Yeah, a lot of people are garbage.
But also, you're in a supermarket with aisles. No one is following you, you're just in the way.
But also, you're in a supermarket with aisles. No one is following you, you're just in the way.
Just back from getting my covid and flu jabs.
Now to launder my comfy pajamas and wash the dogs and meal prep for tomorrow, so I can enjoy being knocked on my ass all day.
Now to launder my comfy pajamas and wash the dogs and meal prep for tomorrow, so I can enjoy being knocked on my ass all day.
September 28, 2026 at 5:03 PM
Just back from getting my covid and flu jabs.
Now to launder my comfy pajamas and wash the dogs and meal prep for tomorrow, so I can enjoy being knocked on my ass all day.
Now to launder my comfy pajamas and wash the dogs and meal prep for tomorrow, so I can enjoy being knocked on my ass all day.
Ive got two books pre-ordered that are going to be delivered in October, and I'm legit as excited for them as I was as a kid for Christmas.
September 24, 2026 at 2:24 PM
Ive got two books pre-ordered that are going to be delivered in October, and I'm legit as excited for them as I was as a kid for Christmas.
Damn!
I ran a red light, actually by accident this time, in an area with a bunch of flock cams.
It's really gonna grind my gears if I get a ticket for an accidental red light running and not any of the on purpose ones.
I ran a red light, actually by accident this time, in an area with a bunch of flock cams.
It's really gonna grind my gears if I get a ticket for an accidental red light running and not any of the on purpose ones.
September 24, 2026 at 12:49 AM
Damn!
I ran a red light, actually by accident this time, in an area with a bunch of flock cams.
It's really gonna grind my gears if I get a ticket for an accidental red light running and not any of the on purpose ones.
I ran a red light, actually by accident this time, in an area with a bunch of flock cams.
It's really gonna grind my gears if I get a ticket for an accidental red light running and not any of the on purpose ones.
Reposted
If Obama started a state run TV channel with his name on it Republicans would have sucked their own balls off so they could squeal about it at a higher pitch.
September 22, 2026 at 9:50 PM
If Obama started a state run TV channel with his name on it Republicans would have sucked their own balls off so they could squeal about it at a higher pitch.
If I knew parents could be this good at stressing me out I never would have had any.
September 18, 2026 at 10:58 PM
If I knew parents could be this good at stressing me out I never would have had any.
Reposted
Reposted
September 10, 2026 at 7:49 PM
Reposted
Damn, Stargate SG1 is legit an amazing show.
September 8, 2026 at 6:00 PM
Damn, Stargate SG1 is legit an amazing show.
There are two things that I would like to make absolutely clear:
1) I DO NOT want to talk about how my day is going.
2) You should never trust that it's just a fart.
1) I DO NOT want to talk about how my day is going.
2) You should never trust that it's just a fart.
September 8, 2026 at 5:49 PM
There are two things that I would like to make absolutely clear:
1) I DO NOT want to talk about how my day is going.
2) You should never trust that it's just a fart.
1) I DO NOT want to talk about how my day is going.
2) You should never trust that it's just a fart.
As a South Park fan, you wanna guess what I was yelling at the Harley riders that were blocking the intersection?
Pathetic attention-seeking assholes
Pathetic attention-seeking assholes
September 6, 2026 at 5:38 PM
As a South Park fan, you wanna guess what I was yelling at the Harley riders that were blocking the intersection?
Pathetic attention-seeking assholes
Pathetic attention-seeking assholes
Reposted
Let’s all post it and see if they indict all of us.
April 28, 2026 at 6:24 PM
Let’s all post it and see if they indict all of us.