The Festinger Gazette
@thefestingergazette.com
Your 100% totally authentic news source!
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The Festinger Gazette
Your 100% totally authentic news source!
thefestingergazette.com
Established in 1769 by the vampire Jamanicus, The Festinger Gazette is Australia's second oldest independent publication
The publication is based in Woop Woop, beyond the black stump, and has a readership of maybe three awesome people... hey Mum! 👋
#thefestingergazette #satire #fakenews
The publication is based in Woop Woop, beyond the black stump, and has a readership of maybe three awesome people... hey Mum! 👋
#thefestingergazette #satire #fakenews
BREAKING: Conservative ex-podcasters use their pearl-clutching skills to improve profits for k-beauty brands.
#satire #festingergazette #pearlclutchers #mitchmcconnell
#satire #festingergazette #pearlclutchers #mitchmcconnell
Korean Beauty Brands Snatch Up Ex-Podcasters
Conservative podcasters, fearful that a blue wave will overwhelm the orange craze and wash away their red income streams, have started looking for other employment opportunities. Korean beauty brands ...
thefestingergazette.com
August 25, 2026 at 10:01 AM
BREAKING: Conservative ex-podcasters use their pearl-clutching skills to improve profits for k-beauty brands.
#satire #festingergazette #pearlclutchers #mitchmcconnell
#satire #festingergazette #pearlclutchers #mitchmcconnell
Reposted by The Festinger Gazette
River of Dreams - Flash Fiction Collection #1 available now!
Available exclusively at Amazon for Kindle devices and apps
You know you want it 💁♂️
#author #booksky #flashfiction #queerfiction #bookrelease
Available exclusively at Amazon for Kindle devices and apps
You know you want it 💁♂️
#author #booksky #flashfiction #queerfiction #bookrelease
River of Dreams: Flash Fiction Collection #1
Amazon.com: River of Dreams: Flash Fiction Collection #1 eBook : Jamanicus: Kindle Store
www.amazon.com
March 26, 2026 at 1:18 AM
River of Dreams - Flash Fiction Collection #1 available now!
Available exclusively at Amazon for Kindle devices and apps
You know you want it 💁♂️
#author #booksky #flashfiction #queerfiction #bookrelease
Available exclusively at Amazon for Kindle devices and apps
You know you want it 💁♂️
#author #booksky #flashfiction #queerfiction #bookrelease
BREAKING: AZ camel farmer pissed that Natalie Harp is shaving her camels in the dead of night. Camel wigs? Camel toes? Where does the madness end?
#satire #politicalsatire #festingergazette #wiggate #natalieharp
#satire #politicalsatire #festingergazette #wiggate #natalieharp
Trump-Voting Camel Farmer Slightly Peeved
Arizona camel farmer Fatima Fafo is slightly peeved at U.S. President Donald Trump.
"I voted for that man three times," she told The Festinger Gazette, "and I totally believe every single word that f...
thefestingergazette.com
August 24, 2026 at 7:42 AM
BREAKING: AZ camel farmer pissed that Natalie Harp is shaving her camels in the dead of night. Camel wigs? Camel toes? Where does the madness end?
#satire #politicalsatire #festingergazette #wiggate #natalieharp
#satire #politicalsatire #festingergazette #wiggate #natalieharp
U.S. NEWS: Senator's Spine Breaks Auction Record
Senator Lindsey Graham's spine was in mint condition and broke a global record for body parts sold at auction.
#satire #festingergazette #politics
Senator Lindsey Graham's spine was in mint condition and broke a global record for body parts sold at auction.
#satire #festingergazette #politics
Senator's Spine Breaks Auction Record
Several body parts were harvested from U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham after his recent passing for an auction to raise funds for SAGE, the advocacy service for LGBTQ+ elders.
Some internal organs, inclu...
thefestingergazette.com
August 5, 2026 at 5:38 AM
U.S. NEWS: Senator's Spine Breaks Auction Record
Senator Lindsey Graham's spine was in mint condition and broke a global record for body parts sold at auction.
#satire #festingergazette #politics
Senator Lindsey Graham's spine was in mint condition and broke a global record for body parts sold at auction.
#satire #festingergazette #politics
"You know I’m automatically attracted to reflecting pools. I just start touching them. It’s like a magnet. Just touch. I don’t even wait…
"And when you’re a star they let you do it... You can do anything
"Grab them by the gash… You can do anything."
"And when you’re a star they let you do it... You can do anything
"Grab them by the gash… You can do anything."
August 4, 2026 at 2:08 AM
"You know I’m automatically attracted to reflecting pools. I just start touching them. It’s like a magnet. Just touch. I don’t even wait…
"And when you’re a star they let you do it... You can do anything
"Grab them by the gash… You can do anything."
"And when you’re a star they let you do it... You can do anything
"Grab them by the gash… You can do anything."
BREAKING: The nation mourns its Mad King, dead at the age of Extreme Dementia. He died on the Fourth of July after overestimating his tolerance for injected blinker fluid. Three days of official mourning — now extended indefinitely. 👑
#thefestingergazette #satire #politics
#thefestingergazette #satire #politics
Nation Mourns Mad King
The United States of America has entered a period of mourning for their Mad King, who died earlier this month at the age of Extreme Dementia. The three official days of mourning are expected to bring ...
thefestingergazette.com
August 2, 2026 at 4:32 AM
BREAKING: The nation mourns its Mad King, dead at the age of Extreme Dementia. He died on the Fourth of July after overestimating his tolerance for injected blinker fluid. Three days of official mourning — now extended indefinitely. 👑
#thefestingergazette #satire #politics
#thefestingergazette #satire #politics
MIRACLE: Lost in the Dolomites for five days, Verona chef Dado Di Campo was down to his last onion and garlic clove when Nonna appeared. She gripped his ear, snapped "Never cook garlic and onion together," and marched him home. 🤌🏔️
#thefestingergazette #satire #nonna
#thefestingergazette #satire #nonna
Italian Man Rescued By Nonna After Five Days Lost In The Dolomites
Dolomites, Italy
26 November, 2025
Dado Di Campo, a 25 year old man from Verona, Italy, has been rescued today by his Italian grandmother, or Nonna, after spending five harrowing days and nights lo...
thefestingergazette.com
August 2, 2026 at 4:30 AM
MIRACLE: Lost in the Dolomites for five days, Verona chef Dado Di Campo was down to his last onion and garlic clove when Nonna appeared. She gripped his ear, snapped "Never cook garlic and onion together," and marched him home. 🤌🏔️
#thefestingergazette #satire #nonna
#thefestingergazette #satire #nonna
BREAKING: This little piggy refused to go to market. President Piggy — prized hog at the trough of taxpayer funds, famed for his orange crackling — cited heel spurs and went wee wee wee all the way home. 🐷✊
#thefestingergazette #satire #politics
#thefestingergazette #satire #politics
President Piggy Refuses To Go To Market
Washington DC, U.S.A.
21 November, 2025
In a stunning turn of events, this little piggy refused to go to market. Instead, he went wee wee wee wee, all the way home.
President Piggy, prized hog at ...
thefestingergazette.com
August 2, 2026 at 4:29 AM
BREAKING: This little piggy refused to go to market. President Piggy — prized hog at the trough of taxpayer funds, famed for his orange crackling — cited heel spurs and went wee wee wee all the way home. 🐷✊
#thefestingergazette #satire #politics
#thefestingergazette #satire #politics
TRAGEDY: Fitness influencer Loven D. Limelight has died after his ring light battery failed mid-flex, casting him in a poor light. Frozen in a side chest pose, he refused all but his sponsor's electrolytes. Cause of death: dehydration. 💡
#thefestingergazette #satire #influencerculture
#thefestingergazette #satire #influencerculture
Influencer Dies After Ring Light Failure
Gold Coast, Australia
14 November, 2025
Social media fitness influencer, Loven D. Limelight, passed away in the early hours of this morning as a result of battery failure in his ring light.
Follow...
thefestingergazette.com
August 2, 2026 at 4:27 AM
TRAGEDY: Fitness influencer Loven D. Limelight has died after his ring light battery failed mid-flex, casting him in a poor light. Frozen in a side chest pose, he refused all but his sponsor's electrolytes. Cause of death: dehydration. 💡
#thefestingergazette #satire #influencerculture
#thefestingergazette #satire #influencerculture
EXCLUSIVE: President J. Gatsby issued a statement today to clarify he is definitely, absolutely NOT that orange, balding, golf-handicap-lying creep Donald J. Trump. Totally different guy. He'll have him indicted, eventually. 🍊
#thefestingergazette #satire #politics
#thefestingergazette #satire #politics
A Statement from U.S. President, J. Gatsby
Washington DC, United States
13 November, 2025
White House Press Secretary, Karo-lyin' Leavitt, read a statement today in the White House press briefing room from U.S. President, J. Gatsby. Transcr...
thefestingergazette.com
August 2, 2026 at 4:25 AM
EXCLUSIVE: President J. Gatsby issued a statement today to clarify he is definitely, absolutely NOT that orange, balding, golf-handicap-lying creep Donald J. Trump. Totally different guy. He'll have him indicted, eventually. 🍊
#thefestingergazette #satire #politics
#thefestingergazette #satire #politics
BREAKING: Italy's government has collapsed. PM Meloni got caught on a hot mic telling a hamburger she doesn't like pasta — or her Nonna. A mob of furious Nonnas stormed the palace within the hour. 🤌🍝
#thefestingergazette #satire #italy
#thefestingergazette #satire #italy
Italian Government Toppled After PM Meloni Caught Dissing Pasta and Nonna on Hot Mic
Rome, Italy
12 November, 2025
Italy's Populist government collapsed today after Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni dissed pasta and her Nonna on an open microphone.
PM Meloni - Italy's first female Pri...
thefestingergazette.com
August 2, 2026 at 4:23 AM
BREAKING: Italy's government has collapsed. PM Meloni got caught on a hot mic telling a hamburger she doesn't like pasta — or her Nonna. A mob of furious Nonnas stormed the palace within the hour. 🤌🍝
#thefestingergazette #satire #italy
#thefestingergazette #satire #italy
BREAKING: Earth #4547 now cut off from the multiverse. Turns out the other Earths saw we elected Trump — twice — and slammed the portal shut from their side. Can't say we blame them 🌀
#thefestingergazette #satire #MAGA
#thefestingergazette #satire #MAGA
Multiverse Portal Closed Indefinitely
Geneva, Switzerland, Earth #4547
11 November 2025
The multiverse scientific community suffered a devastating blow today. Project Blue Bridge, the only known inter-dimensional bridge to the multiver...
thefestingergazette.com
August 2, 2026 at 4:22 AM
BREAKING: Earth #4547 now cut off from the multiverse. Turns out the other Earths saw we elected Trump — twice — and slammed the portal shut from their side. Can't say we blame them 🌀
#thefestingergazette #satire #MAGA
#thefestingergazette #satire #MAGA
Established in 1769 by the vampire Jamanicus, The Festinger Gazette is Australia's second oldest independent publication
The publication is based in Woop Woop, beyond the black stump, and has a readership of maybe three awesome people... hey Mum! 👋
#thefestingergazette #satire #fakenews
The publication is based in Woop Woop, beyond the black stump, and has a readership of maybe three awesome people... hey Mum! 👋
#thefestingergazette #satire #fakenews
The Festinger Gazette
Your 100% totally authentic news source!
thefestingergazette.com
August 2, 2026 at 4:14 AM
Established in 1769 by the vampire Jamanicus, The Festinger Gazette is Australia's second oldest independent publication
The publication is based in Woop Woop, beyond the black stump, and has a readership of maybe three awesome people... hey Mum! 👋
#thefestingergazette #satire #fakenews
The publication is based in Woop Woop, beyond the black stump, and has a readership of maybe three awesome people... hey Mum! 👋
#thefestingergazette #satire #fakenews