Elizabeth Metz
@thefinestmuffins.bsky.social
Illustrator, writer, nonprofit staffer, Reds fan, bookworm, pedestrian, houseplant and voting rights enthusiast. She/her. What, people who like baseball can't like books?
📍Cincinnati, OH
https://www.elizabeth-metz.com
📍Cincinnati, OH
https://www.elizabeth-metz.com
Pinned
Happy #KidLitArtPostcard day! I'm an author-illustrator seeking representation. I ❤️ colorful textural art, good stories for kids, and chickens, which are inherently funny, especially when they're pondering.
You can see more of my 🎨 here: elizabeth-metz.com
You can see more of my 🎨 here: elizabeth-metz.com
Justice for Grover as The Creature Who is Definitely Not Stirring in the Sesame Street gang’s seminal production of “The Night Before Christmas” as seen in A Muppet Family Christmas.
Anyway, booo AI.
Anyway, booo AI.
“But ‘she’ is an actor because ‘she’ is a single creation who can appear in different roles in different projects!”
You are describing Gonzo as Charles Dickens.
You are describing Gonzo as Charles Dickens.
September 10, 2026 at 3:30 AM
Justice for Grover as The Creature Who is Definitely Not Stirring in the Sesame Street gang’s seminal production of “The Night Before Christmas” as seen in A Muppet Family Christmas.
Anyway, booo AI.
Anyway, booo AI.
Whenever the "Gorilla Grodd attacks young Obama in his dorm" scene from Legends of Tomorrow makes the social media rounds, I'm bummed it doesn't include this, the OTHER Grodd-Obama scene.
Barry trying to bipartisan "yes we can" a HOMICIDAL GORILLA is peak comedy. And this actor's Obama voice? 👏👏👏
Barry trying to bipartisan "yes we can" a HOMICIDAL GORILLA is peak comedy. And this actor's Obama voice? 👏👏👏
ONLY legends of tomorrow has gorilla grodd attacking young barack obama
September 9, 2026 at 1:04 AM
Whenever the "Gorilla Grodd attacks young Obama in his dorm" scene from Legends of Tomorrow makes the social media rounds, I'm bummed it doesn't include this, the OTHER Grodd-Obama scene.
Barry trying to bipartisan "yes we can" a HOMICIDAL GORILLA is peak comedy. And this actor's Obama voice? 👏👏👏
Barry trying to bipartisan "yes we can" a HOMICIDAL GORILLA is peak comedy. And this actor's Obama voice? 👏👏👏
I was a freshman at the University of Dayton. The evening of 9/11, a sonic boom from planes taking off from Wright Patt Air Force Base coincided with a random fire. I have a vivid memory of experiencing both from my dorm window, plus a vague memory that there were rumors of a bombing in Dayton.
Everyone post your most insane 9/11 local freak out!
Some people were thinking we might be a target because some highschool kids were interviewed about Bush choking on a pretzel so that made us a target
Some people were thinking we might be a target because some highschool kids were interviewed about Bush choking on a pretzel so that made us a target
midwest concerns
September 9, 2026 at 12:25 AM
I was a freshman at the University of Dayton. The evening of 9/11, a sonic boom from planes taking off from Wright Patt Air Force Base coincided with a random fire. I have a vivid memory of experiencing both from my dorm window, plus a vague memory that there were rumors of a bombing in Dayton.
Reposted by Elizabeth Metz
Happy #KidLitArtPostcard day! I'm an author-illustrator seeking representation. I ❤️ colorful textural art, good stories for kids, and chickens, which are inherently funny, especially when they're pondering.
You can see more of my 🎨 here: elizabeth-metz.com
You can see more of my 🎨 here: elizabeth-metz.com
September 3, 2026 at 11:00 AM
Happy #KidLitArtPostcard day! I'm an author-illustrator seeking representation. I ❤️ colorful textural art, good stories for kids, and chickens, which are inherently funny, especially when they're pondering.
You can see more of my 🎨 here: elizabeth-metz.com
You can see more of my 🎨 here: elizabeth-metz.com
Happy #KidLitArtPostcard day! I'm an author-illustrator seeking representation. I ❤️ colorful textural art, good stories for kids, and chickens, which are inherently funny, especially when they're pondering.
You can see more of my 🎨 here: elizabeth-metz.com
You can see more of my 🎨 here: elizabeth-metz.com
September 3, 2026 at 11:00 AM
Happy #KidLitArtPostcard day! I'm an author-illustrator seeking representation. I ❤️ colorful textural art, good stories for kids, and chickens, which are inherently funny, especially when they're pondering.
You can see more of my 🎨 here: elizabeth-metz.com
You can see more of my 🎨 here: elizabeth-metz.com
For your consideration.
August 28, 2026 at 2:07 AM
For your consideration.
I encountered them so young that it's probably more accurate to call them formative than life-changing, but:
A New Coat for Anna
A Chair for My Mother
The Giant Jam Sandwich
...together helped me understand collective action, of building community (and getting things done) through a project.
A New Coat for Anna
A Chair for My Mother
The Giant Jam Sandwich
...together helped me understand collective action, of building community (and getting things done) through a project.
In honor of Dolly and her commitment to getting books to kids, tell me about a book you read as a child that changed your life.
I’ll start: so many, but tonight maybe I’ll say A WRINKLE IN TIME, a book that taught me anger wasn’t wrong.
I’ll start: so many, but tonight maybe I’ll say A WRINKLE IN TIME, a book that taught me anger wasn’t wrong.
August 26, 2026 at 3:11 AM
I encountered them so young that it's probably more accurate to call them formative than life-changing, but:
A New Coat for Anna
A Chair for My Mother
The Giant Jam Sandwich
...together helped me understand collective action, of building community (and getting things done) through a project.
A New Coat for Anna
A Chair for My Mother
The Giant Jam Sandwich
...together helped me understand collective action, of building community (and getting things done) through a project.
Reposted by Elizabeth Metz
This is the letter kids got at the end of Dolly’s Imagination Library. I defy you to read this and not cry.
August 25, 2026 at 6:28 PM
This is the letter kids got at the end of Dolly’s Imagination Library. I defy you to read this and not cry.
Reposted by Elizabeth Metz
every time i get an email written with chatgpt that doesn't make any sense, doesn't answer my question, or uses the same words over and over again ...in my head i am imagining it was written by Derek from the Good Place
Jason Mendoza and Derek's Intimidation Stare-Off
ALT: Jason Mendoza and Derek's Intimidation Stare-Off
static.klipy.com
August 18, 2026 at 11:38 PM
every time i get an email written with chatgpt that doesn't make any sense, doesn't answer my question, or uses the same words over and over again ...in my head i am imagining it was written by Derek from the Good Place
Reposted by Elizabeth Metz
Reading novels for fun increases empathy, intelligence, relaxation, critical thinking, happiness, and general life satisfaction and is totally free through your local library
August 13, 2026 at 2:41 PM
Reading novels for fun increases empathy, intelligence, relaxation, critical thinking, happiness, and general life satisfaction and is totally free through your local library
Ancient male dermatologist, upon seeing a burn on my arm shortly before Thanksgiving: "Ah, of course. I know how much cooking you women do this time of year."
To be fair, it *was* a burn from an oven door. But COME ON.
To be fair, it *was* a burn from an oven door. But COME ON.
A question from Reddit that I'll answer here:
"What's the most unhinged thing a doctor has said to you with a straight face?"
"What's the most unhinged thing a doctor has said to you with a straight face?"
August 7, 2026 at 12:54 AM
Ancient male dermatologist, upon seeing a burn on my arm shortly before Thanksgiving: "Ah, of course. I know how much cooking you women do this time of year."
To be fair, it *was* a burn from an oven door. But COME ON.
To be fair, it *was* a burn from an oven door. But COME ON.
Most #KidLitArtPostcard Days, I tout myself as author-illustrator. That's still me! I have stories + dummies + will be querying again soon.
But you know what I've *always* wanted to illustrate? BOOK COVERS. So here's a mockup for The Westing Game, the classic MG mystery.
🎨: www.elizabeth-metz.com
But you know what I've *always* wanted to illustrate? BOOK COVERS. So here's a mockup for The Westing Game, the classic MG mystery.
🎨: www.elizabeth-metz.com
August 6, 2026 at 10:54 AM
Most #KidLitArtPostcard Days, I tout myself as author-illustrator. That's still me! I have stories + dummies + will be querying again soon.
But you know what I've *always* wanted to illustrate? BOOK COVERS. So here's a mockup for The Westing Game, the classic MG mystery.
🎨: www.elizabeth-metz.com
But you know what I've *always* wanted to illustrate? BOOK COVERS. So here's a mockup for The Westing Game, the classic MG mystery.
🎨: www.elizabeth-metz.com
Reposted by Elizabeth Metz
DoorDash trying to end home rule for 700,000 people over a TWENTY CENT FEE
In a statement, DoorDash tells me that the council passed the "arbitrary" new fee without holding any hearings.
"We have always supported home rule for D.C.," says the company. "But will continue to defend D.C.'s small businesses, local economy, and underserved residents."
"We have always supported home rule for D.C.," says the company. "But will continue to defend D.C.'s small businesses, local economy, and underserved residents."
July 22, 2026 at 11:04 PM
DoorDash trying to end home rule for 700,000 people over a TWENTY CENT FEE
A sick kid gets a visit from his grandfather and is begrudgingly entertained.
A patriotic military officer with controversial ideas follows his heart and disobeys orders to order to protect America.
July 18, 2026 at 6:16 AM
A sick kid gets a visit from his grandfather and is begrudgingly entertained.
Me: "Wait, isn't it the middle of the game"?
Also me: *frantically googling when Ray Charles died, because... he's definitely dead, right?*
Also me: *frantically googling when Ray Charles died, because... he's definitely dead, right?*
Hi I just turned on the All Star Game, what the fuck is happening
July 15, 2026 at 1:49 AM
Me: "Wait, isn't it the middle of the game"?
Also me: *frantically googling when Ray Charles died, because... he's definitely dead, right?*
Also me: *frantically googling when Ray Charles died, because... he's definitely dead, right?*
So so so sooo many Crazy Ex-Girlfriend songs.
But I think about this one anytime I hear a Beach Boys song these days.
But I think about this one anytime I hear a Beach Boys song these days.
July 14, 2026 at 2:31 AM
So so so sooo many Crazy Ex-Girlfriend songs.
But I think about this one anytime I hear a Beach Boys song these days.
But I think about this one anytime I hear a Beach Boys song these days.
Reposted by Elizabeth Metz
Democratic senators taking the high road for people who actively tried to overthrow elections -- who are literally *on tape* saying "Please subvert American democracy" -- shows that we are still playing completely different sports, here.
July 12, 2026 at 9:30 PM
Democratic senators taking the high road for people who actively tried to overthrow elections -- who are literally *on tape* saying "Please subvert American democracy" -- shows that we are still playing completely different sports, here.
Ahhh, I used to walk through this park on my commute when I last lived in DC!
There's a statue of Joan of Arc overlooking the water feature, and I'm just imagining her look of distaste and/or vengeance. 😂
There's a statue of Joan of Arc overlooking the water feature, and I'm just imagining her look of distaste and/or vengeance. 😂
A Washington fountain that the Trump administration restored this year is now running brown.
Trump Humiliated as D.C. Fountain He Restored Turns Brown
One worker told the Daily Beast he had been cleaning up sediment all day Wednesday.
www.thedailybeast.com
July 9, 2026 at 12:19 AM
Ahhh, I used to walk through this park on my commute when I last lived in DC!
There's a statue of Joan of Arc overlooking the water feature, and I'm just imagining her look of distaste and/or vengeance. 😂
There's a statue of Joan of Arc overlooking the water feature, and I'm just imagining her look of distaste and/or vengeance. 😂
Happy scorching hot July #KidLitArtPostcard Day! Has anybody actually tried frying an egg on the sidewalk? How'd it go?
I'm an #unagented author-illustrator seeking representation and/or projects. I ❤️ colorful textural art, funny stories for kids, and clouds (not pictured).
🎨: elizabeth-metz.com
I'm an #unagented author-illustrator seeking representation and/or projects. I ❤️ colorful textural art, funny stories for kids, and clouds (not pictured).
🎨: elizabeth-metz.com
July 2, 2026 at 11:11 AM
Happy scorching hot July #KidLitArtPostcard Day! Has anybody actually tried frying an egg on the sidewalk? How'd it go?
I'm an #unagented author-illustrator seeking representation and/or projects. I ❤️ colorful textural art, funny stories for kids, and clouds (not pictured).
🎨: elizabeth-metz.com
I'm an #unagented author-illustrator seeking representation and/or projects. I ❤️ colorful textural art, funny stories for kids, and clouds (not pictured).
🎨: elizabeth-metz.com
Reposted by Elizabeth Metz
i don't know how to make it clearer that there are 5,000 soldiers + federal agents + the 30-odd police forces that are always here + like the oklahoma sheriff's department for some reason, in an area that is *68 square miles* and has lower crime than many of the places these folks come from
June 21, 2026 at 9:19 PM
i don't know how to make it clearer that there are 5,000 soldiers + federal agents + the 30-odd police forces that are always here + like the oklahoma sheriff's department for some reason, in an area that is *68 square miles* and has lower crime than many of the places these folks come from
Happy 5th birthday, #KidLitArtPostcard! Meet me, as a kid.
I'm an author-illustrator seeking representation and projects! I ❤️ colorful textural art, funny stories for kids, and (in zero change since childhood) that magical combo of cozy pajamas + comfy couch + a good book.
🎨 elizabeth-metz.com
I'm an author-illustrator seeking representation and projects! I ❤️ colorful textural art, funny stories for kids, and (in zero change since childhood) that magical combo of cozy pajamas + comfy couch + a good book.
🎨 elizabeth-metz.com
June 4, 2026 at 11:00 AM
Happy 5th birthday, #KidLitArtPostcard! Meet me, as a kid.
I'm an author-illustrator seeking representation and projects! I ❤️ colorful textural art, funny stories for kids, and (in zero change since childhood) that magical combo of cozy pajamas + comfy couch + a good book.
🎨 elizabeth-metz.com
I'm an author-illustrator seeking representation and projects! I ❤️ colorful textural art, funny stories for kids, and (in zero change since childhood) that magical combo of cozy pajamas + comfy couch + a good book.
🎨 elizabeth-metz.com
Reposted by Elizabeth Metz
My crankiest old man take is that referring to all art/entertainment/journalism/criticism/comedy/advertising as “content” helped pave the way for broad-ish acceptance of AI slop.
June 3, 2026 at 1:28 PM
My crankiest old man take is that referring to all art/entertainment/journalism/criticism/comedy/advertising as “content” helped pave the way for broad-ish acceptance of AI slop.
(I'm about to comment on the Hacks finale. This is barely a spoiler, but beware I guess?)
Anyway! This Mona Lisa scene! I kept yelling at my screen "Because she was stolen, Ava! Vincenzo Peruggia and true crime and NEWSPAPERS!"
Dear Hacks writers and world: you should read The Mona Lisa Vanishes!
Anyway! This Mona Lisa scene! I kept yelling at my screen "Because she was stolen, Ava! Vincenzo Peruggia and true crime and NEWSPAPERS!"
Dear Hacks writers and world: you should read The Mona Lisa Vanishes!
May 30, 2026 at 12:06 AM
(I'm about to comment on the Hacks finale. This is barely a spoiler, but beware I guess?)
Anyway! This Mona Lisa scene! I kept yelling at my screen "Because she was stolen, Ava! Vincenzo Peruggia and true crime and NEWSPAPERS!"
Dear Hacks writers and world: you should read The Mona Lisa Vanishes!
Anyway! This Mona Lisa scene! I kept yelling at my screen "Because she was stolen, Ava! Vincenzo Peruggia and true crime and NEWSPAPERS!"
Dear Hacks writers and world: you should read The Mona Lisa Vanishes!
Reposted by Elizabeth Metz
And we are live!
Massive thanks to everyone who contributed to this. Reading your posts made me so much madder than I ever knew was possible
Massive thanks to everyone who contributed to this. Reading your posts made me so much madder than I ever knew was possible
May 28, 2026 at 2:25 PM
And we are live!
Massive thanks to everyone who contributed to this. Reading your posts made me so much madder than I ever knew was possible
Massive thanks to everyone who contributed to this. Reading your posts made me so much madder than I ever knew was possible