Capt. Joe Shoes
@thejoeshoes.bsky.social
Beloved sidekick. Internet’s stepdad. Once got punched by He-Man. ProWrestlingTees.com/JoeShoes
Gordon Bombay should have been fired, tarred and feathered for not starting Julie The Cat over Goldberg in The Junior Goodwill Games in Mighty Ducks 2.
January 5, 2026 at 12:56 AM
Gordon Bombay should have been fired, tarred and feathered for not starting Julie The Cat over Goldberg in The Junior Goodwill Games in Mighty Ducks 2.
Just finished NEVERMORE, the Raven documentary and I’m very happy we still have the chance to give him his flowers. Always one of my faves. Still has to try hypnotizing me next time I see him, though.
Seriously, the doc is very well done. Check it out, if you haven’t already.
Seriously, the doc is very well done. Check it out, if you haven’t already.
January 4, 2026 at 3:22 PM
Just finished NEVERMORE, the Raven documentary and I’m very happy we still have the chance to give him his flowers. Always one of my faves. Still has to try hypnotizing me next time I see him, though.
Seriously, the doc is very well done. Check it out, if you haven’t already.
Seriously, the doc is very well done. Check it out, if you haven’t already.
Nothing impresses me more than still being able to make merch glasses out of the upcoming year. I swore that market was donezo after 2009. Never underestimate the will of mankind. #ShoesClues
January 1, 2026 at 12:18 AM
Nothing impresses me more than still being able to make merch glasses out of the upcoming year. I swore that market was donezo after 2009. Never underestimate the will of mankind. #ShoesClues
This year I watched 381 #movies, 101 of which were 2025 releases. So I grace you with my Top 10:
10. Heads of State
9. Steve
8. Weapons
7. Eternity
6. The Naked Gun
5. Zootopia 2
4. The Life of Chuck
3. One Battle After Another
2. Sinners
1. Train Dreams
10. Heads of State
9. Steve
8. Weapons
7. Eternity
6. The Naked Gun
5. Zootopia 2
4. The Life of Chuck
3. One Battle After Another
2. Sinners
1. Train Dreams
spongebob and patrick from spongebob squarepants are sitting in front of a television eating cereal .
ALT: spongebob and patrick from spongebob squarepants are sitting in front of a television eating cereal .
media.tenor.com
December 31, 2025 at 5:36 PM
This year I watched 381 #movies, 101 of which were 2025 releases. So I grace you with my Top 10:
10. Heads of State
9. Steve
8. Weapons
7. Eternity
6. The Naked Gun
5. Zootopia 2
4. The Life of Chuck
3. One Battle After Another
2. Sinners
1. Train Dreams
10. Heads of State
9. Steve
8. Weapons
7. Eternity
6. The Naked Gun
5. Zootopia 2
4. The Life of Chuck
3. One Battle After Another
2. Sinners
1. Train Dreams
Entirely too pleased with myself for this one.
December 31, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Entirely too pleased with myself for this one.
I may fly to Jersey this weekend just to get a sandwich I saw on Instagram and I don’t even care how that makes me sound. #ShoesClues
December 31, 2025 at 2:07 AM
I may fly to Jersey this weekend just to get a sandwich I saw on Instagram and I don’t even care how that makes me sound. #ShoesClues
We’re saying goodbye to Audrey today. The universe has a way of working things out and I truly believe I was pushed to make the trip for Christmas so I could see her one last time. Hopefully, Rusty will be waiting for you so you can dig together again. Rest easy, sweet girl.
December 30, 2025 at 4:30 PM
We’re saying goodbye to Audrey today. The universe has a way of working things out and I truly believe I was pushed to make the trip for Christmas so I could see her one last time. Hopefully, Rusty will be waiting for you so you can dig together again. Rest easy, sweet girl.
I tried the new flavor coffee they had at Wawa today. I figured I might as well let you know.
December 30, 2025 at 2:02 PM
I tried the new flavor coffee they had at Wawa today. I figured I might as well let you know.
Donated about 50 toys for Christmas to a buddy’s community who was doing a collection. Was feeling pretty good about doing a nice thing and then - BAM! - flat tire.
Stay humble, kids.
Stay humble, kids.
December 3, 2025 at 4:58 PM
Donated about 50 toys for Christmas to a buddy’s community who was doing a collection. Was feeling pretty good about doing a nice thing and then - BAM! - flat tire.
Stay humble, kids.
Stay humble, kids.
Spotify thinks I’m significantly older than I actually am and it’s got me feeling like an owl without a graduation cap: heartbroken.
December 3, 2025 at 1:57 PM
Spotify thinks I’m significantly older than I actually am and it’s got me feeling like an owl without a graduation cap: heartbroken.
Catching up on @ewpod.bsky.social and @benlindbergh.bsky.social’s blast on FIP makes me feel like I’m in that Simpsons bit about Zinc.
December 3, 2025 at 10:38 AM
Catching up on @ewpod.bsky.social and @benlindbergh.bsky.social’s blast on FIP makes me feel like I’m in that Simpsons bit about Zinc.
I saw this Uber commercial at the movies a few weeks ago and, by the end of it, I was full-on SpongeBob tears. It’s probably one of the year’s best films and I will die for Uber now. youtu.be/CafQC20v8Kw?...
In Good Time | Uber
YouTube video by Uber
youtu.be
November 8, 2025 at 12:24 AM
I saw this Uber commercial at the movies a few weeks ago and, by the end of it, I was full-on SpongeBob tears. It’s probably one of the year’s best films and I will die for Uber now. youtu.be/CafQC20v8Kw?...
Limbo: great party game, horrible relationship status. #ShoesClues
November 3, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Limbo: great party game, horrible relationship status. #ShoesClues
Just glad that my life was able to reap the benefits of the existence of the great Duane Roberts. RIP.
November 2, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Just glad that my life was able to reap the benefits of the existence of the great Duane Roberts. RIP.
Best World Series of my active fandom:
5. Cubs v. Indians - 2016
4. Cardinals v. Rangers - 2011
3. DBacks v. Yankees - 2001
2. Dodgers v. Blue Jays - 2025
1. Twins v. Braves - 1991
5. Cubs v. Indians - 2016
4. Cardinals v. Rangers - 2011
3. DBacks v. Yankees - 2001
2. Dodgers v. Blue Jays - 2025
1. Twins v. Braves - 1991
November 2, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Best World Series of my active fandom:
5. Cubs v. Indians - 2016
4. Cardinals v. Rangers - 2011
3. DBacks v. Yankees - 2001
2. Dodgers v. Blue Jays - 2025
1. Twins v. Braves - 1991
5. Cubs v. Indians - 2016
4. Cardinals v. Rangers - 2011
3. DBacks v. Yankees - 2001
2. Dodgers v. Blue Jays - 2025
1. Twins v. Braves - 1991
Game 7, 9th inning: my group chat is popping off about the merits of sweet potato fries. 🤦🏻♂️
November 2, 2025 at 3:15 AM
Game 7, 9th inning: my group chat is popping off about the merits of sweet potato fries. 🤦🏻♂️
I’m the blanket from The Brave Little Toaster.
October 31, 2025 at 11:30 PM
I’m the blanket from The Brave Little Toaster.
I’ma be real with you: it’s too cold to dress slutty tonight.
October 31, 2025 at 10:26 PM
I’ma be real with you: it’s too cold to dress slutty tonight.
To the dude I met on the checkout line who’s gonna leave all this to become a famous DJ: I believe in you.
October 28, 2025 at 11:23 PM
To the dude I met on the checkout line who’s gonna leave all this to become a famous DJ: I believe in you.
My dad was 18 years younger than I am now when he used this ticket to see one of the greatest games ever. Two days later, the Mets were champions. Just hoping I’m around long enough to see the same for myself. The sun ain’t as bright as it used to be. #mets #lgm #worldseries
October 26, 2025 at 1:16 AM
My dad was 18 years younger than I am now when he used this ticket to see one of the greatest games ever. Two days later, the Mets were champions. Just hoping I’m around long enough to see the same for myself. The sun ain’t as bright as it used to be. #mets #lgm #worldseries
“That’s what happens at Gucci, you buy a pair of shoes and they let you fuck your ex-fiancée!” - Johnny Drama
October 23, 2025 at 12:17 AM
“That’s what happens at Gucci, you buy a pair of shoes and they let you fuck your ex-fiancée!” - Johnny Drama
The first episode of Dawson’s Creek is basically a NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL MUSIC compilation put to teen drama. I love it.
October 20, 2025 at 11:31 PM
The first episode of Dawson’s Creek is basically a NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL MUSIC compilation put to teen drama. I love it.
Can the Louvre just shut the fuck up for one more inning?
October 20, 2025 at 2:54 AM
Can the Louvre just shut the fuck up for one more inning?
Eleven years ago, CPA and I took a stroll through the park, went on the swings and even jumped in with a softball team that was practicing. It was lovely.
October 18, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Eleven years ago, CPA and I took a stroll through the park, went on the swings and even jumped in with a softball team that was practicing. It was lovely.
Magistrate J’Oeshoes needs a booking.
October 17, 2025 at 7:54 PM
Magistrate J’Oeshoes needs a booking.