RalfWise
@untravel.bsky.social
PhD in philosophy, but mostly dumb jokes. Sometimes I mention serious things. This is, invariably, a mistake.
Posters of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your reply guys.
"bluesky social" is short for "bluesky socialism." not many people know this
October 8, 2026 at 4:22 PM
Posters of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your reply guys.
Reposted by RalfWise
gregor samsa awoke one morning to discover he had been transformed into a sickass beetle. fuck yeah he said scuttling all over the walls and ceiling like no dumbfuck traveling salesman could ever do. this is the best day of my life he said
October 7, 2026 at 5:52 PM
gregor samsa awoke one morning to discover he had been transformed into a sickass beetle. fuck yeah he said scuttling all over the walls and ceiling like no dumbfuck traveling salesman could ever do. this is the best day of my life he said
Reposted by RalfWise
I still can’t believe how tough it is to find Occam's Shave Cream. I would have expected it to be simple and uncomplicated.
October 7, 2026 at 5:13 PM
I still can’t believe how tough it is to find Occam's Shave Cream. I would have expected it to be simple and uncomplicated.
Reposted by RalfWise
Reposted by RalfWise
at the non-alcoholic seltzer pitch meeting
October 7, 2026 at 4:25 PM
at the non-alcoholic seltzer pitch meeting
Reposted by RalfWise
It’s called Dungeons and Dragons, maybe you’ve nerd of it
it’s called falling in love, maybe you’ve heart of it
it's called being wounded maybe you've hurt of it
October 6, 2026 at 7:54 PM
It’s called Dungeons and Dragons, maybe you’ve nerd of it
well, here's the thing...
Sorry I'm late, I was assimilated by an extraterrestrial parasite at a remote Antarctic research station.
October 6, 2026 at 4:27 PM
well, here's the thing...
Reposted by RalfWise
Sorry I'm late, I was assimilated by an extraterrestrial parasite at a remote Antarctic research station.
October 6, 2026 at 3:05 PM
Sorry I'm late, I was assimilated by an extraterrestrial parasite at a remote Antarctic research station.
Reposted by RalfWise
"Opera doesn't make money. Opera’s what you spend money *on*.”
“But . . what do you get out of it?”
“You get opera. You put money in, you see, and opera comes out,” said Salzella wearily.
--Terry Pratchett, 'Maskerade'
“But . . what do you get out of it?”
“You get opera. You put money in, you see, and opera comes out,” said Salzella wearily.
--Terry Pratchett, 'Maskerade'
I used to feel like half my time as an orchestra musician was spent patiently explaining, over and over, that no, orchestras have never in history paid for themselves through ticket sales; no, cutting concerts or auxiliary trumpets won't balance the books; YOU JUST HAVE TO RAISE THE MONEY.
October 6, 2026 at 12:09 AM
"Opera doesn't make money. Opera’s what you spend money *on*.”
“But . . what do you get out of it?”
“You get opera. You put money in, you see, and opera comes out,” said Salzella wearily.
--Terry Pratchett, 'Maskerade'
“But . . what do you get out of it?”
“You get opera. You put money in, you see, and opera comes out,” said Salzella wearily.
--Terry Pratchett, 'Maskerade'
New @untravel.bsky.social halloween profile pic sorted
October 5, 2026 at 3:52 PM
New @untravel.bsky.social halloween profile pic sorted
genie: I can grant you 3 wishes. No wishing for infinite wishes or any of that other bullshit
me: I wish that I had everything that I would have wished for if had infinite wishes.
genie: *eye roll*
me: You can use the other 2, I guess. Get yourself something nice. You deserve it.
me: I wish that I had everything that I would have wished for if had infinite wishes.
genie: *eye roll*
me: You can use the other 2, I guess. Get yourself something nice. You deserve it.
genie: for your first wish?
me: I wish for more wishes
genie: that’s against the rules
me: I wish for more genies
genie: *checks notes* god dammit
me: I wish for more wishes
genie: that’s against the rules
me: I wish for more genies
genie: *checks notes* god dammit
October 4, 2026 at 10:25 PM
genie: I can grant you 3 wishes. No wishing for infinite wishes or any of that other bullshit
me: I wish that I had everything that I would have wished for if had infinite wishes.
genie: *eye roll*
me: You can use the other 2, I guess. Get yourself something nice. You deserve it.
me: I wish that I had everything that I would have wished for if had infinite wishes.
genie: *eye roll*
me: You can use the other 2, I guess. Get yourself something nice. You deserve it.
Reposted by RalfWise
Paul Verhoeven: too subtle for his own good.
October 4, 2026 at 3:38 PM
Paul Verhoeven: too subtle for his own good.
Never not reposting philosophy jokes #lifegoals
(confused) I believe LLMs are conscious, but only Deepseek LLMs, because of the Chinese Room theory
October 2, 2026 at 5:55 PM
Never not reposting philosophy jokes #lifegoals
Reposted by RalfWise
I'd use the subjunctive if I were you.
October 2, 2026 at 7:33 AM
I'd use the subjunctive if I were you.
Reposted by RalfWise
I've read through my employment contract 3 times and at no point does it specify that I can't unleash bees in the office
September 29, 2026 at 10:50 AM
I've read through my employment contract 3 times and at no point does it specify that I can't unleash bees in the office
Reposted by RalfWise
Please stop calling me on my phone that's not what it's for
September 28, 2026 at 3:56 PM
Please stop calling me on my phone that's not what it's for
I'd look forward to a world where 'I understand the books I read' moves from a common skill like 'I can brush my teeth' to an exotic one like 'I can fly a helicopter' except it's here already. 🤔
The literacy crisis is not just referring to people's ability to literally read and write. It's also people's inability to read for context.
I've been a public educator for over 20 years and I have never, ever seen it this bad.
I've been a public educator for over 20 years and I have never, ever seen it this bad.
September 26, 2026 at 9:23 PM
I'd look forward to a world where 'I understand the books I read' moves from a common skill like 'I can brush my teeth' to an exotic one like 'I can fly a helicopter' except it's here already. 🤔
DOORBELL DOORBELL DOORBELL DID YOU GUYS HEAR THE DOORBELL? I AM BARKING TO MAKE SURE YOU GUYS HEARD IT. SURE BADGUYS DONT USUALLY RING THE DOORBELL BEFORE THEY ATTACK, BUT HOW CAN WE BE SURE? 🤔 YES I AM STILL POSTING ABOUT THIS DOORBELL SITUATION.
if your pet had a bluesky account, what would they post about
September 26, 2026 at 11:16 AM
DOORBELL DOORBELL DOORBELL DID YOU GUYS HEAR THE DOORBELL? I AM BARKING TO MAKE SURE YOU GUYS HEARD IT. SURE BADGUYS DONT USUALLY RING THE DOORBELL BEFORE THEY ATTACK, BUT HOW CAN WE BE SURE? 🤔 YES I AM STILL POSTING ABOUT THIS DOORBELL SITUATION.
Once knew a guy who didn't get a job because he brought a disposable plastic water bottle to the interview (instead of a resuable one)
My impression is that people get rejected all the time for random shit and there's no way to anticpate every possible freak pet peeve. Trying will drive you crazy.
My impression is that people get rejected all the time for random shit and there's no way to anticpate every possible freak pet peeve. Trying will drive you crazy.
I’m sorry, but if you bring an iced coffee - or any damn beverage at all - to a job interview, you’re disqualified. It’s not hard, people.
September 25, 2026 at 6:56 PM
Once knew a guy who didn't get a job because he brought a disposable plastic water bottle to the interview (instead of a resuable one)
My impression is that people get rejected all the time for random shit and there's no way to anticpate every possible freak pet peeve. Trying will drive you crazy.
My impression is that people get rejected all the time for random shit and there's no way to anticpate every possible freak pet peeve. Trying will drive you crazy.
Reposted by RalfWise
My therapist told me to get out and socialize more so I now open Bluesky when I’m outside
September 24, 2026 at 7:10 PM
My therapist told me to get out and socialize more so I now open Bluesky when I’m outside
Reposted by RalfWise
and what do you think would be the first rule of the socratic method club?
September 24, 2026 at 7:50 PM
and what do you think would be the first rule of the socratic method club?
Reposted by RalfWise
God, grant me the courage to change the things I can and incredible new powers to change the things I can't.
September 24, 2026 at 12:32 PM
God, grant me the courage to change the things I can and incredible new powers to change the things I can't.
Reposted by RalfWise
![Comic. [Person with long hair pointing to diagram with Tyrannosaurus Rex standing next to a person.] PERSON: We now believe the primary prey of Tyrannosaurus Rex was these humans who kept standing next to it for scale.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cz73r7iyiqn26upot4jtjdhk/bafkreih526pxolmi4pgqdcdu435uhkrrldhpwq6rrsnk4hfs6dskbe5r7e)
September 22, 2026 at 7:39 PM
Reposted by RalfWise
it's dangerous to go alone take this
(hands you a format joke)
(hands you a format joke)
August 29, 2026 at 9:32 PM
it's dangerous to go alone take this
(hands you a format joke)
(hands you a format joke)
My son (12) and his friend just got 3rd place in a Fortnite tournament. He's so happy, it's great.
That's 3rd out of over like a 100K teams. Nerd Dad me wishes I had the actual total, so calculate the exact %.
Don't usually mention personal info, but had to post due to an excess of paternal pride.
That's 3rd out of over like a 100K teams. Nerd Dad me wishes I had the actual total, so calculate the exact %.
Don't usually mention personal info, but had to post due to an excess of paternal pride.
September 21, 2026 at 8:58 PM
My son (12) and his friend just got 3rd place in a Fortnite tournament. He's so happy, it's great.
That's 3rd out of over like a 100K teams. Nerd Dad me wishes I had the actual total, so calculate the exact %.
Don't usually mention personal info, but had to post due to an excess of paternal pride.
That's 3rd out of over like a 100K teams. Nerd Dad me wishes I had the actual total, so calculate the exact %.
Don't usually mention personal info, but had to post due to an excess of paternal pride.