Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
@vancitymeggi.bsky.social
Navigating mid-life, motherhood, and being fabulous! Adulting hard… hot flashing harder.
💋👑🏎️🏍️🦄
Westcoastgurl / Meg-alicious on Twitter 2012-2014
💋👑🏎️🏍️🦄
Westcoastgurl / Meg-alicious on Twitter 2012-2014
Pinned
Actually, your email finds me eating a rotisserie chicken with my bare hands at 4am.
Reposted by Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
i saved thousands on my car insurance by returning to the sea
September 13, 2026 at 11:14 PM
i saved thousands on my car insurance by returning to the sea
Reposted by Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
The light at the end of the tunnel is me waving a stick of dynamite.
September 9, 2026 at 10:33 PM
The light at the end of the tunnel is me waving a stick of dynamite.
When the edibles kick in.
September 16, 2026 at 11:51 PM
When the edibles kick in.
Reposted by Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
madame tussaud has outdone herself
September 15, 2026 at 1:46 AM
madame tussaud has outdone herself
Reposted by Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
boss: you only had one job
me: not in this economy
me: not in this economy
August 17, 2026 at 11:56 AM
boss: you only had one job
me: not in this economy
me: not in this economy
Reposted by Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
Doctor: So, what are you using for birth control?
Me: Usually black socks with sandals.
Me: Usually black socks with sandals.
November 30, 2024 at 12:09 AM
Doctor: So, what are you using for birth control?
Me: Usually black socks with sandals.
Me: Usually black socks with sandals.
Reposted by Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
Calling in lumpy to work. I'm far too lumpy to get anything done today. Should be smooth again by this time next week.
August 11, 2026 at 5:17 PM
Calling in lumpy to work. I'm far too lumpy to get anything done today. Should be smooth again by this time next week.
Reposted by Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
Reposted by Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
an uber driver wearing sock puppets on both hands that talk to each other about how bad the steering wheel tastes your whole ride
August 5, 2026 at 11:41 AM
an uber driver wearing sock puppets on both hands that talk to each other about how bad the steering wheel tastes your whole ride
Reposted by Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
[shipwreck diary]
Day 437: still no sign of human contact. this is fucking awesome
Day 437: still no sign of human contact. this is fucking awesome
August 10, 2026 at 8:58 PM
[shipwreck diary]
Day 437: still no sign of human contact. this is fucking awesome
Day 437: still no sign of human contact. this is fucking awesome
Reposted by Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
If you see a faded sign
by the side of the road
that says 15 miles to the
by the side of the road
that says 15 miles to the
March 18, 2024 at 8:15 PM
If you see a faded sign
by the side of the road
that says 15 miles to the
by the side of the road
that says 15 miles to the
Reposted by Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
I’m good at stretching words out to absurd lengths, but do I get any credit for it? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
August 5, 2026 at 10:29 PM
I’m good at stretching words out to absurd lengths, but do I get any credit for it? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Reposted by Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
Dogs are all “huh?” while cats are all “ugh”
August 11, 2026 at 9:09 PM
Dogs are all “huh?” while cats are all “ugh”
I put the ‘sexy’ in dyslexia.
August 11, 2026 at 10:23 PM
I put the ‘sexy’ in dyslexia.
Reposted by Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
So if something happens to that one strait, the whole civilization collapses? That is a great system, well done. Have you thought about colonizing Mars? You'd be good at it.
May 4, 2026 at 1:46 AM
So if something happens to that one strait, the whole civilization collapses? That is a great system, well done. Have you thought about colonizing Mars? You'd be good at it.
Reposted by Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
now if only this existential dread could burn off stubborn belly fat
February 6, 2025 at 2:15 AM
now if only this existential dread could burn off stubborn belly fat
Reposted by Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
[road trip]
DAUGHTER: I have to use the bathroom.
ME: *pulls into rest stop*
DAUGHTER: Thanks.
ME: Make sure you’re back in 5 minutes.
DAUGHTER: I will.
ME: We accidentally left your brother behind once.
DAUGHTER: I don’t have a brother.
ME: Exactly.
DAUGHTER: I have to use the bathroom.
ME: *pulls into rest stop*
DAUGHTER: Thanks.
ME: Make sure you’re back in 5 minutes.
DAUGHTER: I will.
ME: We accidentally left your brother behind once.
DAUGHTER: I don’t have a brother.
ME: Exactly.
May 3, 2026 at 12:56 PM
[road trip]
DAUGHTER: I have to use the bathroom.
ME: *pulls into rest stop*
DAUGHTER: Thanks.
ME: Make sure you’re back in 5 minutes.
DAUGHTER: I will.
ME: We accidentally left your brother behind once.
DAUGHTER: I don’t have a brother.
ME: Exactly.
DAUGHTER: I have to use the bathroom.
ME: *pulls into rest stop*
DAUGHTER: Thanks.
ME: Make sure you’re back in 5 minutes.
DAUGHTER: I will.
ME: We accidentally left your brother behind once.
DAUGHTER: I don’t have a brother.
ME: Exactly.
Reposted by Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
A friend called me an uber dad today, and if by that they meant I get to drive my kids everywhere and bring them food all day for little reward and a stream of 1 star reviews then yes, I suppose I am.
January 6, 2024 at 2:48 PM
A friend called me an uber dad today, and if by that they meant I get to drive my kids everywhere and bring them food all day for little reward and a stream of 1 star reviews then yes, I suppose I am.
Reposted by Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
interviewer: any weaknesses?
me: my knees
me: my knees
March 2, 2026 at 2:12 PM
interviewer: any weaknesses?
me: my knees
me: my knees
Reposted by Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
I was going to ask you out, but I saw you throw the yogurt lid in the trash without licking it first.
December 29, 2024 at 1:39 AM
I was going to ask you out, but I saw you throw the yogurt lid in the trash without licking it first.
Reposted by Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
probably because they have to keep stopping to pick up their backpacks
December 30, 2025 at 2:20 PM
probably because they have to keep stopping to pick up their backpacks
Reposted by Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
Trump Asks JD Vance To Research Whether President Allowed To Kill Vice President https://theonion.com/trump-asks-jd-vance-to-research-whether-president-allowed-to-kill-vice-president/
December 31, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Trump Asks JD Vance To Research Whether President Allowed To Kill Vice President https://theonion.com/trump-asks-jd-vance-to-research-whether-president-allowed-to-kill-vice-president/
Reposted by Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
An Advent calendar, but is filled with increasingly strong edibles.
December 21, 2025 at 1:19 AM
An Advent calendar, but is filled with increasingly strong edibles.
Reposted by Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
if i was on death row my final meal would be the endless shrimp at red lobster and i’d never stop ordering. i’d still be alive
December 21, 2025 at 3:13 AM
if i was on death row my final meal would be the endless shrimp at red lobster and i’d never stop ordering. i’d still be alive
Reposted by Vancity Meggi 🇨🇦
The internet would be so much better if everyone was just cool to each other & also posted more vids of animals eating corn on the cob
December 18, 2025 at 12:17 PM
The internet would be so much better if everyone was just cool to each other & also posted more vids of animals eating corn on the cob