al-boo
@captainacabairbud.myatproto.social
not really a dog. reposts = official CDC recommendations. he/him
Pinned
keep talkin asshole i’m pinning this entire thread
Reposted by al-boo
Some people call me the space cowboy, some call me and tell me to delete my account
October 30, 2026 at 1:58 PM
Some people call me the space cowboy, some call me and tell me to delete my account
Reposted by al-boo
dressing up as your dad for Halloween and not showing up to your party
October 29, 2026 at 6:03 PM
dressing up as your dad for Halloween and not showing up to your party
Reposted by al-boo
Lollipop from the doctor hits different after a prostate exam
October 30, 2026 at 12:37 PM
Lollipop from the doctor hits different after a prostate exam
Reposted by al-boo
"They told me Druski could do it bruv"
guy fighting antisemitism: "doing racist caricatures is intrinsic to being jewish"
October 30, 2026 at 9:08 PM
"They told me Druski could do it bruv"
i posted your posts in the group chat and no one responded for 5 minutes
October 30, 2026 at 8:17 PM
i posted your posts in the group chat and no one responded for 5 minutes
Reposted by al-boo
can i come over and crawl around on your ceiling while you sleep
October 28, 2026 at 4:55 AM
can i come over and crawl around on your ceiling while you sleep
Reposted by al-boo
I'm taking a kid I used to nanny to a haunted house where I once made the Michael Myers scare actor break because I told him I loved him in Shrek.
October 30, 2026 at 7:13 PM
I'm taking a kid I used to nanny to a haunted house where I once made the Michael Myers scare actor break because I told him I loved him in Shrek.
Reposted by al-boo
day 9 of jaw surgery recovery i just jerked off to a picture of a cheeseburger
October 30, 2026 at 5:14 PM
day 9 of jaw surgery recovery i just jerked off to a picture of a cheeseburger
Reposted by al-boo
every time i do cardio or any sort of workout i come to the conclusion that i either need to do this more often or never do this again
October 30, 2026 at 5:54 PM
every time i do cardio or any sort of workout i come to the conclusion that i either need to do this more often or never do this again
Reposted by al-boo
climbing back into my cage because i’m not doing just fine
October 30, 2026 at 2:22 PM
climbing back into my cage because i’m not doing just fine
Reposted by al-boo
if peaceful protest is impossible then violent revolution is STILL ILLEGAL, YALL!! i WILL call the cops on u!!!
October 30, 2026 at 6:40 PM
if peaceful protest is impossible then violent revolution is STILL ILLEGAL, YALL!! i WILL call the cops on u!!!
smash that follow button for more raving reviews
October 30, 2026 at 6:33 PM
smash that follow button for more raving reviews
Reposted by al-boo
any zoomer making of me for my finger mustache and millennial optimism will find their name at the bottom of my suicide note
October 30, 2026 at 3:33 PM
any zoomer making of me for my finger mustache and millennial optimism will find their name at the bottom of my suicide note
“the ai bubble pops” would be an absolutely terrible name for a baby girl, but it would still be pretty cool
October 30, 2026 at 6:32 PM
“the ai bubble pops” would be an absolutely terrible name for a baby girl, but it would still be pretty cool
when you were 5 and found a condom in your parents nightstand:
Meet Loki the Sea Cucumber, One of 57 Newly Discovered Deep-Sea Species 🧪🦑🌎
Meet Loki the Sea Cucumber, One of 57 Newly Discovered Deep-Sea Species - Nautilus
It looks friendly at least
nautil.us
October 30, 2026 at 6:01 PM
when you were 5 and found a condom in your parents nightstand:
Reposted by al-boo
also let me get notifications for liking my own posts again
October 30, 2026 at 5:24 PM
also let me get notifications for liking my own posts again
Reposted by al-boo
"I've been getting these weird stomach aches lately" - guy who has eaten a piece of candy every forty-five minutes for the past thirty days
October 15, 2024 at 4:04 PM
"I've been getting these weird stomach aches lately" - guy who has eaten a piece of candy every forty-five minutes for the past thirty days
uhhh beta features? what is this mastodon????
October 30, 2026 at 5:56 PM
uhhh beta features? what is this mastodon????
every time i do cardio or any sort of workout i come to the conclusion that i either need to do this more often or never do this again
October 30, 2026 at 5:54 PM
every time i do cardio or any sort of workout i come to the conclusion that i either need to do this more often or never do this again
Reposted by al-boo
(shaking with rage, barely holding back tears, every breath fighting against a barely constrained sob) and you know what? maybe i did drink from the hose a few times as a kid
October 30, 2026 at 3:39 PM
(shaking with rage, barely holding back tears, every breath fighting against a barely constrained sob) and you know what? maybe i did drink from the hose a few times as a kid
sounds interesting
October 30, 2026 at 3:34 PM
sounds interesting
Reposted by al-boo
guysss let’s all create meaning for ourselves and others in a cruel and random world!!
October 30, 2026 at 3:23 PM
guysss let’s all create meaning for ourselves and others in a cruel and random world!!
any zoomer making of me for my finger mustache and millennial optimism will find their name at the bottom of my suicide note
October 30, 2026 at 3:33 PM
any zoomer making of me for my finger mustache and millennial optimism will find their name at the bottom of my suicide note
Reposted by al-boo
if you've ever posted a link in reply to me, I have never clicked on it, listened to it, or watched whatever it was you replied
October 30, 2026 at 3:08 PM
if you've ever posted a link in reply to me, I have never clicked on it, listened to it, or watched whatever it was you replied