Jo
@whatsjo.bsky.social
I came here to do two things: pray and quote Natalie Imbruglia, and I’m all out of faith.
ATL• she/her • 🤖💙 • I eat popsicles for breakfast • 🇵🇸
ATL• she/her • 🤖💙 • I eat popsicles for breakfast • 🇵🇸
Pinned
Jo
@whatsjo.bsky.social
· May 1
date: can you take off your work gloves
Jim Henson: they have names
Jim Henson: they have names
Reposted by Jo
Reposted by Jo
him: will you at least act normal when my folks get here
me: *flipping a pancake and reading it like a tarot card* bad news
me: *flipping a pancake and reading it like a tarot card* bad news
November 22, 2024 at 2:18 AM
him: will you at least act normal when my folks get here
me: *flipping a pancake and reading it like a tarot card* bad news
me: *flipping a pancake and reading it like a tarot card* bad news
Reposted by Jo
me, as a child: *walks into the kitchen covered in my own blood holding a rabbit I fought from a hawk*
my mom, on the phone: *mouthing* I’m on the phone
my mom, on the phone: *mouthing* I’m on the phone
May 3, 2023 at 11:55 AM
me, as a child: *walks into the kitchen covered in my own blood holding a rabbit I fought from a hawk*
my mom, on the phone: *mouthing* I’m on the phone
my mom, on the phone: *mouthing* I’m on the phone
cellmate: I need one more sheet to make it to the ground.
me: *through the mouth hole* but it’s my costume
me: *through the mouth hole* but it’s my costume
October 31, 2026 at 2:08 AM
cellmate: I need one more sheet to make it to the ground.
me: *through the mouth hole* but it’s my costume
me: *through the mouth hole* but it’s my costume
Reposted by Jo
me: what about the time I returned several shopping carts to the corral
death: *checks watch* ok finish your show
death: *checks watch* ok finish your show
July 29, 2023 at 12:10 AM
me: what about the time I returned several shopping carts to the corral
death: *checks watch* ok finish your show
death: *checks watch* ok finish your show
Reposted by Jo
me: I’m cold, can I wear your hoodie?
grim reaper: no.
grim reaper: no.
December 29, 2024 at 4:37 PM
me: I’m cold, can I wear your hoodie?
grim reaper: no.
grim reaper: no.
Reposted by Jo
mugger: How much you got?
me: *looks in my purse and sees two Snickers bars* One Snickers bar.
me: *looks in my purse and sees two Snickers bars* One Snickers bar.
November 16, 2024 at 8:28 PM
mugger: How much you got?
me: *looks in my purse and sees two Snickers bars* One Snickers bar.
me: *looks in my purse and sees two Snickers bars* One Snickers bar.
Reposted by Jo
my haters have put together a pretty convincing powerpoint presentation
October 8, 2026 at 3:02 PM
my haters have put together a pretty convincing powerpoint presentation
Reposted by Jo
Someone in the work chat said our CEO got attacked by a bear. Can’t decide between a thumbs up or a laugh emoji
October 29, 2026 at 6:06 PM
Someone in the work chat said our CEO got attacked by a bear. Can’t decide between a thumbs up or a laugh emoji
Reposted by Jo
[commercial for stones] are you tired of killing 2 birds with your bare fuckin hands
November 15, 2024 at 1:52 PM
[commercial for stones] are you tired of killing 2 birds with your bare fuckin hands
Reposted by Jo
please say it’s twizzlers please say it’s twizzlers please say it’s t
October 25, 2026 at 1:03 PM
please say it’s twizzlers please say it’s twizzlers please say it’s t
me: He said you’d say that.
therapist: There’s no such thing as time traveling ghosts.
therapist: There’s no such thing as time traveling ghosts.
October 21, 2026 at 8:50 PM
me: He said you’d say that.
therapist: There’s no such thing as time traveling ghosts.
therapist: There’s no such thing as time traveling ghosts.
Reposted by Jo
I got that bog in me (various types of mush suspended in liquid)
October 21, 2026 at 8:39 PM
I got that bog in me (various types of mush suspended in liquid)
Reposted by Jo
me: sorry we’re late
st peter: what happened
grim reaper: *holding cotton candy and a giant teddy bear* traffic.
st peter: what happened
grim reaper: *holding cotton candy and a giant teddy bear* traffic.
November 24, 2024 at 5:04 PM
me: sorry we’re late
st peter: what happened
grim reaper: *holding cotton candy and a giant teddy bear* traffic.
st peter: what happened
grim reaper: *holding cotton candy and a giant teddy bear* traffic.
Reposted by Jo
[buying a pumpkin] One scary watermelon, please
September 26, 2023 at 3:01 PM
[buying a pumpkin] One scary watermelon, please
Reposted by Jo
In times like these it’s nice to have been cursed to sail the seas in a ghost ship for all eternity
January 20, 2025 at 5:23 PM
In times like these it’s nice to have been cursed to sail the seas in a ghost ship for all eternity
Reposted by Jo
Ever since I watched the movie Jaws, I’ve been terrified of swimming in the ocean with a canister of compressed air in my mouth.
June 27, 2026 at 11:26 PM
Ever since I watched the movie Jaws, I’ve been terrified of swimming in the ocean with a canister of compressed air in my mouth.
Reposted by Jo
I take a multivitamin every day and this [gesturing toward my sorrow] is the thanks I get
February 22, 2025 at 9:18 PM
I take a multivitamin every day and this [gesturing toward my sorrow] is the thanks I get
Reposted by Jo
me: hey, can we pick up my mom on the way to church?
uber driver: sure
me: cool, I’ll cancel the hearse
uber driver: sure
me: cool, I’ll cancel the hearse
November 28, 2024 at 2:12 AM
me: hey, can we pick up my mom on the way to church?
uber driver: sure
me: cool, I’ll cancel the hearse
uber driver: sure
me: cool, I’ll cancel the hearse
Reposted by Jo
nothing bad will ever happen if you just be yourself and have a good time
October 8, 2026 at 12:42 AM
nothing bad will ever happen if you just be yourself and have a good time
Reposted by Jo
DOCTOR: have you been under any stress recently
ME: come on
ME: come on
October 10, 2026 at 2:40 PM
DOCTOR: have you been under any stress recently
ME: come on
ME: come on
Reposted by Jo
haven’t been sold one of those big tins with three different types of popcorn in it in a while, hope they didn’t go extinct
October 18, 2026 at 10:38 PM
haven’t been sold one of those big tins with three different types of popcorn in it in a while, hope they didn’t go extinct
Reposted by Jo
Never met a living person who could play the xylophone with any proficiency but somehow every single skeleton is playing their own ribs at a virtuoso level. Makes no sense.
October 12, 2026 at 10:22 PM
Never met a living person who could play the xylophone with any proficiency but somehow every single skeleton is playing their own ribs at a virtuoso level. Makes no sense.
Reposted by Jo
🎵 I heard there was a Mr. Bean
That played on TV and movie screens
But you don’t really care for slapstick, do ya? 🎵
That played on TV and movie screens
But you don’t really care for slapstick, do ya? 🎵
October 17, 2026 at 4:06 AM
🎵 I heard there was a Mr. Bean
That played on TV and movie screens
But you don’t really care for slapstick, do ya? 🎵
That played on TV and movie screens
But you don’t really care for slapstick, do ya? 🎵