May the "WE'RE FUCKED" be with you🤔...

Somebody fire the Grim Reaper. He's taking the wrong 80-year-olds.

Absolute truth from Pulitzer Prize-winning editorial cartoonist Mike Luckovich. We warned you. You did it anyway.

At that one moment, all you had to do was check the right box for a thriving, peaceful and successful life. And now every decent American is under complete, life-threatening assault.

Remember when we used to prosecute child rapists instead of protecting them? Pepperidge Farm remembers.

I'll take "No Shit Sherlock" for $200, Ken.

I sure wouldn't want to be a bottle of ketchup in Donnie Boy's reach today.

while heat.index > 100:
brain = no.wurk.gud

Wait... is this the best meme ever made?

I miss the days when you could go minutes, hours even, without thinking about what the President was doing.

Also on Reddit today, someone thinking that I am apologetic for being a white dude. Nah, friends. I think we all know that being a white dude in the US is pretty great. My sin, if you will, is thinking everyone else should have the same latitude in life that I get just by being a white dude.

Agreed

In a quantum reality that doesn't 100% suck:

Want to hear a sick joke?

Just two men are responsible for the two presidential terms of Donald Trump.

Jim Comey and Merrick Garland.

I'm here all week. Try the veal.

Jack Smith's report confirms what I've been saying for some time: If Garland hadn't slow-walked the investigations, Trump would be in prison right now instead of about to be sworn in as President.

incredibly funny that the Jets are gonna finish significantly worse having Rodgers all year than the season they lost him after like 5 minutes

"Holy infant so tender and mild" implies the existence of a cursed infant so tough and spicy.