LITA ABSOLUTITA
@aleaiactaest.bsky.social
absolutely lita for life for pasta gansta balabalata and that
Ski half pipe athletes kept dropping phones in the competition. Surprised that it’s allowed to bring cellphones in Olympics final…
February 24, 2026 at 5:50 AM
Ski half pipe athletes kept dropping phones in the competition. Surprised that it’s allowed to bring cellphones in Olympics final…
Everything freaking sucks
February 5, 2026 at 8:24 AM
Everything freaking sucks
Whoever salted my fries should go salt the road. Wrong occupation. It’s a waste of talent.
January 27, 2026 at 11:34 PM
Whoever salted my fries should go salt the road. Wrong occupation. It’s a waste of talent.
Twitter is down! I have anxiety now
March 10, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Twitter is down! I have anxiety now
I feel like someone should rap this answer into a song.
January 16, 2025 at 4:39 PM
I feel like someone should rap this answer into a song.
Reposted by LITA ABSOLUTITA
hey anyone else out there looking to ditch the NYT Cooking app I recommend America's Test Kitchen
their recipes are always bulletproof and they haven't afaik been cheerleading genocide:
their recipes are always bulletproof and they haven't afaik been cheerleading genocide:
America's Test Kitchen | Episodes, Recipes & Reviews | America's Test Kitchen
Watch every episode from every season and find the best recipes, equipment reviews, taste tests, and cooking videos for home cooks.
www.americastestkitchen.com
January 13, 2025 at 1:20 AM
hey anyone else out there looking to ditch the NYT Cooking app I recommend America's Test Kitchen
their recipes are always bulletproof and they haven't afaik been cheerleading genocide:
their recipes are always bulletproof and they haven't afaik been cheerleading genocide:
“I want you to find John Wick for 10”
“Not for 10 million, might consider for 20”
“No, I mean 10 thousand”
“Not for 10 million, might consider for 20”
“No, I mean 10 thousand”
December 5, 2024 at 10:50 PM
“I want you to find John Wick for 10”
“Not for 10 million, might consider for 20”
“No, I mean 10 thousand”
“Not for 10 million, might consider for 20”
“No, I mean 10 thousand”
An aha moment
This is how you become a writer: just pick one of the things that is deeply wrong with you. Make it a character. Now send it on a self-help journey or try to kill it. Now call it a book.
November 19, 2024 at 6:55 PM
An aha moment
Reposted by LITA ABSOLUTITA
But darn, absolutely love that person
September 24, 2024 at 9:32 AM
But darn, absolutely love that person
I now know why people broke up after many years.
There’re things you just can not compromise.
There’re things you just can not compromise.
September 24, 2024 at 8:17 AM
I now know why people broke up after many years.
There’re things you just can not compromise.
There’re things you just can not compromise.
I eat milk chocolates when stressed. Google says it’s normal reaction but not a healthy choice.
Which…… made me more stressed.
Which…… made me more stressed.
August 24, 2024 at 6:18 PM
I eat milk chocolates when stressed. Google says it’s normal reaction but not a healthy choice.
Which…… made me more stressed.
Which…… made me more stressed.
😄
“where did larry go?”
“larry had to leaf”
“larry had to leaf”
August 9, 2024 at 5:21 PM
😄
My printer won’t print until none of the color cartridges are empty. Can’t change the setting it’s just how this HP model rolls.
Constantly buying expensive color cartridges just for a few black and white sheets occasionally. I feel like a victim here.
Ready to rebel!
Constantly buying expensive color cartridges just for a few black and white sheets occasionally. I feel like a victim here.
Ready to rebel!
August 6, 2024 at 9:33 PM
My printer won’t print until none of the color cartridges are empty. Can’t change the setting it’s just how this HP model rolls.
Constantly buying expensive color cartridges just for a few black and white sheets occasionally. I feel like a victim here.
Ready to rebel!
Constantly buying expensive color cartridges just for a few black and white sheets occasionally. I feel like a victim here.
Ready to rebel!
Saw Brownlee tweet about FBI. Haven’t watched the video yet.
I always wondered, how would I know if they’re really FBI agents?
They show badges sure but how would I know it’s real?
Receiving an email saying they’re FBI and waiting for me downstairs, I’d just be like nah you’re not get lost
I always wondered, how would I know if they’re really FBI agents?
They show badges sure but how would I know it’s real?
Receiving an email saying they’re FBI and waiting for me downstairs, I’d just be like nah you’re not get lost
July 27, 2024 at 12:33 AM
Saw Brownlee tweet about FBI. Haven’t watched the video yet.
I always wondered, how would I know if they’re really FBI agents?
They show badges sure but how would I know it’s real?
Receiving an email saying they’re FBI and waiting for me downstairs, I’d just be like nah you’re not get lost
I always wondered, how would I know if they’re really FBI agents?
They show badges sure but how would I know it’s real?
Receiving an email saying they’re FBI and waiting for me downstairs, I’d just be like nah you’re not get lost
10am checkout time is psychopath.
July 25, 2024 at 2:36 PM
10am checkout time is psychopath.
🤣
June 22, 2024 at 8:25 PM
🤣
Really hope that people can all move here so I can leave Twitter!
June 17, 2024 at 3:54 AM
Really hope that people can all move here so I can leave Twitter!
Go grandma
My wife’s grandmother is 102. Well into her 90’s she was still taking walks alone at 4:00 am every morning and carrying a two-foot length of rebar in case a mofo tried. Roundabout 95, when the rebar got “too heavy,” she switched to carrying a meat hammer. Anyway. Happy Mother’s Day weekend.
May 11, 2024 at 6:45 PM
Go grandma
Qualifying test onset? To help out those who aren’t so sure if they’re dumb enough or not
May 10, 2024 at 1:38 AM
Qualifying test onset? To help out those who aren’t so sure if they’re dumb enough or not
I have a huge progress
Now I can tell apart Ryan Gosling from Ryan Reynolds.
I think.
Now I can tell apart Ryan Gosling from Ryan Reynolds.
I think.
May 4, 2024 at 8:35 AM
I have a huge progress
Now I can tell apart Ryan Gosling from Ryan Reynolds.
I think.
Now I can tell apart Ryan Gosling from Ryan Reynolds.
I think.
Google street view blurred this egg (my guess for nipple). But not the egg on the far end. 😂
Is this some sort of egg discrimination or they know something I don’t know.
Is this some sort of egg discrimination or they know something I don’t know.
May 4, 2024 at 6:47 AM
Google street view blurred this egg (my guess for nipple). But not the egg on the far end. 😂
Is this some sort of egg discrimination or they know something I don’t know.
Is this some sort of egg discrimination or they know something I don’t know.
Reposted by LITA ABSOLUTITA
The “Kubrick Stare” is one of Stanley Kubrick‘s most recognizable directorial techniques, a method of shot composition where a character stares at the camera with a forward tilt, to convey to the audience that the character in question is at the peak of their derangement.
April 21, 2024 at 5:19 PM
The “Kubrick Stare” is one of Stanley Kubrick‘s most recognizable directorial techniques, a method of shot composition where a character stares at the camera with a forward tilt, to convey to the audience that the character in question is at the peak of their derangement.
🤣
tonight my friend said "bukkake" when she meant "seppuku" and let me tell you it was a SHARP plot twist in her story
April 21, 2024 at 6:14 AM
🤣
Can feel the sentiment. Got one coming up. 🤓
Currently on a Boeing 737 Max, what can I say, I like to live in the edge
April 17, 2024 at 5:35 PM
Can feel the sentiment. Got one coming up. 🤓