One thousand dollars from the book fairy and turn me loose in the fantasy section of Chapters for an hour, please.

It's close enough to the holidays that I can promise myself a bookish gift for Christmas, but in the meantime I'm placing library holds like that will hit the same spot (it does not).

I've said similar things haha. Any mega-bestseller that hooks me probably has breakneck pacing and a really fun story, but the writing style is at a crude 4th-grade reading level that makes me want to throw it across the room. Story =/= prose.

The bread acts as a kind of protective cushion against botherment.

Plain soft white bread: untoasted, buttered, dunked in coffee. Multigrain sourdough bread and also cinnamon raisin bagels: toasted, buttered, dunked in cocoa. My weekend is sorted, nothing can touch me.

Dragons are a kind of chronic ailment.

the ideal M/F ship is a woman who is constantly charging headfirst into danger and chaos with zero sense of self-preservation, and her emotional support himbo who follows along like “this is a deranged plan, but fine”