If those are the choices, I'd say The Brothers Karamazov.

Altar

I'm still annoyed that the correct thing to add to my food matters deck is something called "Ninja Pizza."

Somehow still going to win with Thassa's Oracle

This is, of course, different from every other night due to the quantity of nerdity, not quality.

Sounds like my search history.

Boomer growing to the size of the room, surrounded by food, then moving his tail to reveal two kittens he calls "Forgetfulness" and "Want"

The ceiling for pancakes is higher. If all you've had is buttermilk, you're missing out.

theonion.com/dad-suggests...

Sweet and sour sauce has an aftertaste. Duck Sauce made the electronic hit song "Barbra Streisand"

"Doctor's Orders" is definitely already a porn title. Might be the title of more than 10 movies of the genre. And that's only including the subset of the genre of which I partake; it might reach triple digits if we included all subsets.

You should do a reading of "kids book" for the kids. And for us. Really for everyone.

Just saw Your Name for the first time a few weeks ago!

5. I called a tire guy to help fix my tires (Montgomery County Roadside dude named Cameron he's great) and he quoted me 10:30 arrival time. I got distracted, looked down at the clock at 10:41, and panicked before looking at a text from him saying he was 15 minutes out 14 minutes ago.