Dread Pirate Cummerbund
@dpcummerbund.bsky.social
Semi-professional librarian. Dread Pirate.
And despite all laws, guidance, and common sense, he'll keep drawing on them until they actually collapse.
August 31, 2026 at 3:43 AM
And despite all laws, guidance, and common sense, he'll keep drawing on them until they actually collapse.
He blows up oil refineries while drawing down our oil reserves and blaming Biden for the oil reserves he's draining.
In another two months, our reserves will be empty, we'll be facing HUGE gas prices and even shortages like the 1970s, and it will be entirely self-inflicted by Trump.
In another two months, our reserves will be empty, we'll be facing HUGE gas prices and even shortages like the 1970s, and it will be entirely self-inflicted by Trump.
August 31, 2026 at 3:24 AM
He blows up oil refineries while drawing down our oil reserves and blaming Biden for the oil reserves he's draining.
In another two months, our reserves will be empty, we'll be facing HUGE gas prices and even shortages like the 1970s, and it will be entirely self-inflicted by Trump.
In another two months, our reserves will be empty, we'll be facing HUGE gas prices and even shortages like the 1970s, and it will be entirely self-inflicted by Trump.
Please start all future headlines about older famous people with "STILL LIVING Person X does a thing."
August 28, 2026 at 10:29 PM
Please start all future headlines about older famous people with "STILL LIVING Person X does a thing."
Republicans want to govern in his name, even when he's completely incapacitated. This is just their trial run for when it happens with Trump.
August 28, 2026 at 1:59 PM
Republicans want to govern in his name, even when he's completely incapacitated. This is just their trial run for when it happens with Trump.
Since when is the late Sean Connery a "top Iranian official"?
August 21, 2026 at 4:06 PM
Since when is the late Sean Connery a "top Iranian official"?
My whole family visited Top Golf last year. We're not very organized, and we were also trying to split the bill 4 ways. We would have had better luck trying to plan the Normandy invasion.
August 16, 2026 at 9:30 PM
My whole family visited Top Golf last year. We're not very organized, and we were also trying to split the bill 4 ways. We would have had better luck trying to plan the Normandy invasion.
Knowing him, it's really a whine bar, amirite?
August 14, 2026 at 1:54 PM
Knowing him, it's really a whine bar, amirite?
Important health tip: don't trust the results of the ultrasound you get from the Taco Bell drive thru.
June 24, 2026 at 2:30 PM
Important health tip: don't trust the results of the ultrasound you get from the Taco Bell drive thru.
You don't need to be a sealant expert, any product called "Rhino Pipeliner 5000" is obviously bogus.
June 24, 2026 at 2:25 PM
You don't need to be a sealant expert, any product called "Rhino Pipeliner 5000" is obviously bogus.
The cats who get two meals. They're scamming for a third.
April 8, 2026 at 3:49 PM
The cats who get two meals. They're scamming for a third.
Imagine waking up tomorrow and learning that everyone in Texas, New York, Florida, Pennsylvania, and South Carolina is dead. That's the level of destruction Trump is threatening to do tonight. This is utter madness.
April 7, 2026 at 4:29 PM
Imagine waking up tomorrow and learning that everyone in Texas, New York, Florida, Pennsylvania, and South Carolina is dead. That's the level of destruction Trump is threatening to do tonight. This is utter madness.
Boarding school. He went to boarding school.
March 13, 2026 at 7:59 PM
Boarding school. He went to boarding school.
Saying know to evil/wrong/unthinkable things seems like a no brainer. If you asked her "will Trump rule out bombing Minneapolis to get rid of the rioters?" and she said "everything is on the table", I think that would be a bit of a red flag.
March 9, 2026 at 2:13 AM
Saying know to evil/wrong/unthinkable things seems like a no brainer. If you asked her "will Trump rule out bombing Minneapolis to get rid of the rioters?" and she said "everything is on the table", I think that would be a bit of a red flag.
Someone should ask him if nuclear weapons are also on the table.
I'll bet her answer isn't "no."
I'll bet her answer isn't "no."
March 9, 2026 at 2:08 AM
Someone should ask him if nuclear weapons are also on the table.
I'll bet her answer isn't "no."
I'll bet her answer isn't "no."
Considering how much everybody hates JD Vance, it would be more polite to NOT send him
March 7, 2026 at 3:50 PM
Considering how much everybody hates JD Vance, it would be more polite to NOT send him
I would like to take the opportunity to point out that Trump can't even PRONOUCE Iran.
Vance, Johnson, and others can, and do. It's just Trump being stupid and nobody correcting him. Or they do correct him, and he just doesn't give a damn.
Vance, Johnson, and others can, and do. It's just Trump being stupid and nobody correcting him. Or they do correct him, and he just doesn't give a damn.
March 3, 2026 at 6:22 AM
I would like to take the opportunity to point out that Trump can't even PRONOUCE Iran.
Vance, Johnson, and others can, and do. It's just Trump being stupid and nobody correcting him. Or they do correct him, and he just doesn't give a damn.
Vance, Johnson, and others can, and do. It's just Trump being stupid and nobody correcting him. Or they do correct him, and he just doesn't give a damn.
Photo of the last time I saw some wrinkly old authoritarian dirtbag bragging about how great he is
February 25, 2026 at 12:42 AM
Photo of the last time I saw some wrinkly old authoritarian dirtbag bragging about how great he is
According to actuarial tables, a 79 year old man has a 5% chance of not reaching his 80th birthday. So, there's a 0.137% chance it's today.
February 25, 2026 at 12:39 AM
According to actuarial tables, a 79 year old man has a 5% chance of not reaching his 80th birthday. So, there's a 0.137% chance it's today.
Anyone who expresses concern about "illegal" voting has never actually worked at the polls on election day. It's the most secure process I've ever been a part of, and I used to handle cash for a large corporation. Wholescale fraud is basically impossible.
February 18, 2026 at 3:34 PM
Anyone who expresses concern about "illegal" voting has never actually worked at the polls on election day. It's the most secure process I've ever been a part of, and I used to handle cash for a large corporation. Wholescale fraud is basically impossible.
Weirdest looking bobsled ever
February 17, 2026 at 4:04 AM
Weirdest looking bobsled ever