Dreamboat Dave
@dreamboatdave.bsky.social
The boat of your dreams... 🔗
Pinned
Dreamboat Dave
@dreamboatdave.bsky.social
· Nov 21
IDGAF, I'm calling them tweets.
*folds you in half good morning...*
September 20, 2026 at 8:39 PM
*folds you in half good morning...*
If I have a daddy, it's when my dental hygienist has both hands and three tools in my mouth at the same time...
September 18, 2026 at 6:15 PM
If I have a daddy, it's when my dental hygienist has both hands and three tools in my mouth at the same time...
On days where I get nothing done at work, I call it "a thinking day"...
September 16, 2026 at 5:09 PM
On days where I get nothing done at work, I call it "a thinking day"...
Reposted by Dreamboat Dave
I went to Chicago and all I got was called a whore at 3am at weiners circle
September 15, 2026 at 7:56 PM
I went to Chicago and all I got was called a whore at 3am at weiners circle
Reposted by Dreamboat Dave
According to a source who prefers to remain anonymous... I am, in fact, a sexy biscuit.
September 11, 2026 at 3:29 AM
According to a source who prefers to remain anonymous... I am, in fact, a sexy biscuit.
Reposted by Dreamboat Dave
Sorry I forgot to reply, I was too busy taking compliments.
September 13, 2026 at 2:32 AM
Sorry I forgot to reply, I was too busy taking compliments.
Reposted by Dreamboat Dave
Kindness is some people's default.
September 13, 2026 at 11:55 AM
Kindness is some people's default.
If you think I'm awkward here, wait till you meet me in person...
September 1, 2026 at 12:31 AM
If you think I'm awkward here, wait till you meet me in person...
Reposted by Dreamboat Dave
"It's righty tightly, lefty loosey" until you strip a screw getting your left and right backwards
August 27, 2026 at 8:50 PM
"It's righty tightly, lefty loosey" until you strip a screw getting your left and right backwards
Reposted by Dreamboat Dave
Coffee is the one thing in life that rarely disappoints me.
July 14, 2026 at 10:50 AM
Coffee is the one thing in life that rarely disappoints me.
Reposted by Dreamboat Dave
The best part of this timeline is being told not to eat our vegetables.
July 14, 2026 at 3:09 PM
The best part of this timeline is being told not to eat our vegetables.
Reposted by Dreamboat Dave
7 am is a much more humane wake-up time than 5 am.
July 10, 2026 at 11:35 AM
7 am is a much more humane wake-up time than 5 am.
Reposted by Dreamboat Dave
Happy Mother's day to all the strong mom's out there
May 10, 2026 at 2:56 PM
Happy Mother's day to all the strong mom's out there
Reposted by Dreamboat Dave
My bank flagged my debit card for fraud because I spent $46 at the liquor store. Like omg assholes, sometimes I’m fun.
September 26, 2025 at 11:27 PM
My bank flagged my debit card for fraud because I spent $46 at the liquor store. Like omg assholes, sometimes I’m fun.
Reposted by Dreamboat Dave
I hope your sweet Saturday night playlist is hitting all the right notes
December 14, 2025 at 2:28 AM
I hope your sweet Saturday night playlist is hitting all the right notes
Reposted by Dreamboat Dave
I wonder if people who post their gym selfie for their dating profile pic know I don’t care
November 28, 2025 at 8:42 PM
I wonder if people who post their gym selfie for their dating profile pic know I don’t care
Polite guy, with a dirty side...
November 23, 2025 at 12:36 AM
Polite guy, with a dirty side...
Reposted by Dreamboat Dave
It's the end of the world as we know it and I'm making mac n cheese.
September 18, 2025 at 3:14 PM
It's the end of the world as we know it and I'm making mac n cheese.
Reposted by Dreamboat Dave
I don't care who you're kissing as long as it's done with consent and fresh breath.
September 18, 2025 at 4:58 PM
I don't care who you're kissing as long as it's done with consent and fresh breath.
I can't separate the charm from the man, my dear... We're a pair...
September 18, 2025 at 6:25 PM
I can't separate the charm from the man, my dear... We're a pair...
Reposted by Dreamboat Dave
One day you're young and cool and the next you have a favourite frypan.
September 7, 2025 at 8:53 AM
One day you're young and cool and the next you have a favourite frypan.
Woke up again without Michael Buffer introducing me... but whatever...
September 2, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Woke up again without Michael Buffer introducing me... but whatever...
Reposted by Dreamboat Dave
Get outside if you aren't already
August 14, 2025 at 7:52 PM
Get outside if you aren't already
Reposted by Dreamboat Dave
Fast approaching absolutely-losing-my-shit mode
August 14, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Fast approaching absolutely-losing-my-shit mode
Reposted by Dreamboat Dave
My husband was rambling about how differently the car handles when she doesn’t have a full load in her. I giggled, then he called me a pervert. I blame all of you.
August 8, 2025 at 8:10 PM
My husband was rambling about how differently the car handles when she doesn’t have a full load in her. I giggled, then he called me a pervert. I blame all of you.