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@fakehappy.monster
He/him. Rated R for indiscriminate gunplay, profanity directed at children, and a scene of swindling
Pinned
Oops! All Jazeera
@fakehappy.monster
· May 4
Reagan’s national televised address if Big Bird had been on the Challenger:
(Sobbing, clutching a Supergrover doll) Big Bird exploded! Big Bird exploded! (Slapping away his handlers) No! NO! Big Bird EXPLODED!
(Sobbing, clutching a Supergrover doll) Big Bird exploded! Big Bird exploded! (Slapping away his handlers) No! NO! Big Bird EXPLODED!
Reposted by Oops! All Jazeera
Hi, I didn't wanna make this video but I need to come clean about something. This whole time I've been a p-zombie with no phenomenal experience or interiority. I've been getting messages asking whether there's anything it's like to be me, and the answer is no. I'd say I'm sorry, but, well, you know.
September 9, 2026 at 6:57 PM
Hi, I didn't wanna make this video but I need to come clean about something. This whole time I've been a p-zombie with no phenomenal experience or interiority. I've been getting messages asking whether there's anything it's like to be me, and the answer is no. I'd say I'm sorry, but, well, you know.
It’s true Tim Curry was a lovely man, and I do understand what acting is. But it’s also true a part of me has finally unclenched, knowing Pennywise can never hurt me now.
August 26, 2026 at 6:46 PM
It’s true Tim Curry was a lovely man, and I do understand what acting is. But it’s also true a part of me has finally unclenched, knowing Pennywise can never hurt me now.
Go-Bots recreate Lingua Ignota’s “ALL BITCHES DIE” album cover. Home Depot recreates the Napoleonic Wars. Your niece’s hamster releases an energy drink. The sound of rain on your rooftop becomes a muffin
August 16, 2026 at 3:35 AM
Go-Bots recreate Lingua Ignota’s “ALL BITCHES DIE” album cover. Home Depot recreates the Napoleonic Wars. Your niece’s hamster releases an energy drink. The sound of rain on your rooftop becomes a muffin
You ever read that story about how the Target app knew a woman was pregnant before she did, just based on her purchases/online info? I’m suddenly getting a ton of spam for “burial insurance.”
August 10, 2026 at 4:43 PM
You ever read that story about how the Target app knew a woman was pregnant before she did, just based on her purchases/online info? I’m suddenly getting a ton of spam for “burial insurance.”
Given his obsession with Obama, I’m kind of surprised Trump has never released a competing list, which we would immediately see had been AI-generated and contained half a dozen made-up artists
August 1, 2026 at 2:14 PM
Given his obsession with Obama, I’m kind of surprised Trump has never released a competing list, which we would immediately see had been AI-generated and contained half a dozen made-up artists
I promise you it’s worth the wait to see the way this fucking thing collapses
Robot powered by Qualcomm’s new AI chip dies mid-presentation 😭
July 25, 2026 at 1:49 AM
I promise you it’s worth the wait to see the way this fucking thing collapses
Oh so now it’s ILLEGAL to eat Taco Bell? CDC death panels will refuse to treat American citizens with explosive diarrhea if they ordered a Crunchwrap Supreme? Is this the future liberals want? Would I actually blow the vaccine microchip controlling my brain out of my anus in a brown burst if I—
The CDC confirmed on Thursday that an outbreak of the cyclospora parasite is linked to shredded iceberg lettuce from Taco Bell locations in Indiana, Kentucky, Michigan, Ohio and West Virginia.
July 17, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Oh so now it’s ILLEGAL to eat Taco Bell? CDC death panels will refuse to treat American citizens with explosive diarrhea if they ordered a Crunchwrap Supreme? Is this the future liberals want? Would I actually blow the vaccine microchip controlling my brain out of my anus in a brown burst if I—
Kinda sounds more like she’s the one who stabbed him
Amy Adams reveals on the ‘SmartLess’ podcast that she saved a stabbing victim thanks to skills she learned from her show, ‘Dr. Vegas’:
“I was just so focused, I was like, ‘The more you struggle, the faster you’re going to bleed. Just lay down.’”
“I was just so focused, I was like, ‘The more you struggle, the faster you’re going to bleed. Just lay down.’”
June 25, 2026 at 2:06 AM
Kinda sounds more like she’s the one who stabbed him
Reposted by Oops! All Jazeera
Reposted by Oops! All Jazeera
The rate of regret on being prime minister is way higher than that of being trans
June 22, 2026 at 12:30 PM
The rate of regret on being prime minister is way higher than that of being trans
Somewhat father-related: a while back I was driving and listening to a show on NPR. The credits listed a guy named something like “John Smith III, Jr.” and I got so mad I almost had to pull over
June 21, 2026 at 4:35 PM
Somewhat father-related: a while back I was driving and listening to a show on NPR. The credits listed a guy named something like “John Smith III, Jr.” and I got so mad I almost had to pull over
I think our culture has largely abandoned the concept of “selling out,” but I’d like to suggest that simping for Instagram’s algorithm, even if you are what I’m pretty sure is a completely made-up person, is a strong argument for reviving it
Young Miko reveals what her algorithm looks like in new “Algo Confessions” interview for Instagram.
June 19, 2026 at 11:07 PM
I think our culture has largely abandoned the concept of “selling out,” but I’d like to suggest that simping for Instagram’s algorithm, even if you are what I’m pretty sure is a completely made-up person, is a strong argument for reviving it
Reposted by Oops! All Jazeera
Well, that was a fucking ride.
![A cropped screenshot of an article section titled "Gary Larson cartoon incident" from a Tumblr page. The text describes a controversy involving a Far Side cartoon and Jane Goodall.
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Gary Larson cartoon incident
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In 1987 Gary Larson published a Far Side cartoon of two chimpanzees grooming, in which one discovers a blonde hair and says, "Conducting a little more 'research' with that Jane Goodall tramp?"[127] The Jane Goodall Institute called the cartoon an "atrocity" in a letter drafted by its lawyers to Larson and his syndicate. Goodall, who was in Africa at the time, later found the cartoon amusing.[128]
She went on to name it her favourite depiction of herself in pop culture.[129] Larson offered profits from sales of a shirt featuring the cartoon to the Jane Goodall Institute.[130]
Goodall wrote the preface to The Far Side Gallery 5, detailing her version of the controversy.[131] She praised Larson's creative ideas, which often compare and contrast the behaviour of humans and animals.
In 1988 Larson visited Goodall's research facility in Tanzania.[128] While there, he was attacked by a chimpanzee named Frodo.[127][132]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:qdtwslusias4dnfmqydvudsq/bafkreiab4xelozcgki2mm2n3wwq5vdhbvve7v76enl6wbonavz6gjc2p7u)
June 16, 2026 at 11:28 PM
Well, that was a fucking ride.
I don’t see many truck nuts, thankfully, but I’m extremely motivated to buy a ton of these for the next dozen or so times I do
June 13, 2026 at 1:27 AM
I don’t see many truck nuts, thankfully, but I’m extremely motivated to buy a ton of these for the next dozen or so times I do
A robot in China wearing a clown wig roundhouse kicked a child. A robot in China wearing a clown wig roundhouse kicked a child. A robot in China wearing a clown wig roundhouse kicked a child.
A robot in China wearing a clown wig roundhouse kicked a child
June 6, 2026 at 3:42 AM
A robot in China wearing a clown wig roundhouse kicked a child. A robot in China wearing a clown wig roundhouse kicked a child. A robot in China wearing a clown wig roundhouse kicked a child.
Reposted by Oops! All Jazeera
If I were an action hero, this is what I’d say to the bad guy before the kill shot.
May 31, 2026 at 9:58 PM
If I were an action hero, this is what I’d say to the bad guy before the kill shot.
Reposted by Oops! All Jazeera
donald trump is once again on the white house roof. he has reportedly been told what the requirement is to appear on us currency and “agreed to do it.” we cannot see his expression from this distance but he has just begun to sprint. a surprisingly fast pace for a what has been a sedentary presidency
May 29, 2026 at 5:03 AM
donald trump is once again on the white house roof. he has reportedly been told what the requirement is to appear on us currency and “agreed to do it.” we cannot see his expression from this distance but he has just begun to sprint. a surprisingly fast pace for a what has been a sedentary presidency
And if that weren’t bad enough, the Epstein files were in that rocket
In case you still haven't caught on. The explosions are intentional but not in the way you think. They're getting huge government contracts, spending one tenth of it making a trash firework, then they'll go back to the well end take more taxpayer money. This is not a new scam. Space X does this too
May 29, 2026 at 3:06 AM
And if that weren’t bad enough, the Epstein files were in that rocket
I’m terrified that “micro influencer” may just be what social media CEOs call a regular person
Micro influencers are being paid to post positively about ‘The Mandalorian & Grogu’
• Many of the ads are undisclosed
• Influencers are given talking points and paid based off views
• Many of the ads are undisclosed
• Influencers are given talking points and paid based off views
May 27, 2026 at 2:25 AM
I’m terrified that “micro influencer” may just be what social media CEOs call a regular person
Simply too seated, etc. Holy shit
Armando Iannucci (‘The Death of Stalin’) and Simon Blackwell (‘Veep’) are writing the script for ‘PADDINGTON 4’.
May 27, 2026 at 2:12 AM
Simply too seated, etc. Holy shit
Sounds great!
Anne Hathaway tells ELLE she almost quit ‘Mother Mary’ after seeing early footage of herself:
“This is really bad…I don’t know that I can ask people to come to see this… I came to the conclusion that there would be no shame if I was fired, but there would be if I quit.”
“This is really bad…I don’t know that I can ask people to come to see this… I came to the conclusion that there would be no shame if I was fired, but there would be if I quit.”
May 23, 2026 at 12:07 AM
Sounds great!
“Plus he disrespected the Wu-Tang Clan” has fresh competition
interesting rationale from a prospective juror in the Elon Musk Twitter stock manipulation case
May 14, 2026 at 12:40 AM
“Plus he disrespected the Wu-Tang Clan” has fresh competition
I have a wild guess on the first mystery
May 14, 2026 at 12:37 AM
I have a wild guess on the first mystery
Reposted by Oops! All Jazeera
Nothing can prepare you for who's singing this National Anthem
(via lpaulfranklin / TT)
(via lpaulfranklin / TT)
May 7, 2026 at 6:31 PM
Nothing can prepare you for who's singing this National Anthem
(via lpaulfranklin / TT)
(via lpaulfranklin / TT)
In unrelated news, I’m scrambling to complete a nuclear fallout shelter and I hope you’re doing the same
May 2, 2026 at 4:21 PM
In unrelated news, I’m scrambling to complete a nuclear fallout shelter and I hope you’re doing the same