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grunionguy.bsky.social
Eee! Tess Ate Chai Tea
@grunionguy.bsky.social
170 followers 150 following 2.9K posts
"He's a master at being clever and counteracting the clever." -- Steve Ditko (about me, probably)

https://tessatechaitea.blogspot.com/
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grunionguy.bsky.social
Why is the Mayor of Lazytown helping draft bills with Gavin Newsom?
The Mayor of Lazytown standing in front of, presumably, Stephanie's pink car. Gavin Newsome and the corpse of Jay Leno stand nearby.
October 1, 2026 at 8:01 AM
grunionguy.bsky.social
"A friend of mine reports that all the women he’s polled have been enthusiastic advocates of the bold romantic gesture, but this, he suspects, is because they’re all automatically picturing John Cusack making it, not Steve Buscemi or Peter Lorre or the Creature from the Black Lagoon. Often you don’t know whether you’re the hero of a romantic comedy or the villain on a Lifetime special until the restraining order arrives." — Tim Kreider, “The Creature Walks Among Us”, We Learn Nothing
September 18, 2026 at 8:35 PM
grunionguy.bsky.social
Idiots exist who have no comprehension of what a pronoun is.

And then there's Stephen King.

From Apt Pupil by Stephen King.
"No God at all, that was Who."
September 17, 2026 at 8:37 PM
grunionguy.bsky.social
Tangent Black Orchid almost getting her pussy shot off.
September 4, 2026 at 10:39 PM
grunionguy.bsky.social
coolest character: me
August 13, 2026 at 2:29 AM
grunionguy.bsky.social
My Jokers:
9 Jokers: Hanging Chad, Misprint (Looking to dump still), Mad Joker, Negative Jolly Joker, Triboulet, Negative Cloud 9, Photograph, Negative Baseball Card, Sock and Buskin. Plus a Uranus giving me 1.5x.
August 11, 2026 at 3:29 AM
grunionguy.bsky.social
My first Balatro billion.
Round Score from Balatro: 1,754,199,720
August 11, 2026 at 3:26 AM
grunionguy.bsky.social
The day I entered my Metallica Load phase. Meaning I cut my hair after decades of long hair. Thanks to Covid and my stylist moving away, I'm back to long hair. Plus all that beard shit, while in the same relative places, is gray now.
The best looking boy.
July 12, 2026 at 6:57 AM
grunionguy.bsky.social
You call a fat alien Fatso the Trampoline Gut, he's gonna sit on your face, Etty!
Etrigan staring up into the asshole of a fat alien about to sit on his face and exclaiming, "Satan's ringpiece!"
June 4, 2026 at 3:32 PM
grunionguy.bsky.social
Perfect Chicago dog!
Godzilla standing in the river with a Chicago hot dog just the way Chicagoans love it: smothered in relish, tomatoes, peppers, and ketchup.
May 25, 2026 at 7:42 PM
grunionguy.bsky.social
Just judging by the thumbnail, WatchMojo thinks I'm a NOBODY!
Thumbnail image for WatchMojo video for "10 Great Rock Songs that are in NOBODY's Top 10" showing a still of Sting from the Synchronicity II video.
May 22, 2026 at 5:04 AM
grunionguy.bsky.social
Happy May Day!
End scene from The Wicker Man where it's burning with the words "Live. Laugh. Love." surrounding it.
May 1, 2026 at 10:20 AM
grunionguy.bsky.social
Battalion of Team Titans saying the hit line all the '90s kids were saying: "It's time to make some cheese!"
April 15, 2026 at 4:16 AM
grunionguy.bsky.social
Killed the Queen on Turn 1 with this deck in Slay the Spire II:
Slay the Spire II deck with Hellraiser (improved with Swift) in opening hand of deck with nearly all "Strike" cards (4 Upgraded Pommel Strikes to keep drawing). Pillage to get the draw going again if it died. Only 2 Defends also with Swift to keep drawing. Fiend Fire to expunge deck of non-attack cards for Infinite Draw.
April 13, 2026 at 4:44 AM
grunionguy.bsky.social
From my exegesis of Pynchon's Mason & Dixon. I know, I know. What does that have to do with Mason & Dixon? Get off my back! What are you, my editor?!
I would like to get a flattering letter some time. My first year out of state in college, I once got a letter from the girl I had a crush on where she said she loved me like a brother. Was that flattering? It just seemed cruel and world-destroying at the time. Thinking on it after all these years, I still think it was cruel and world-destroying but also probably a lie. What she really wanted to say was almost certainly, "You're being pathetic and I don't know how to deal with this. Please go get laid and forget about me. You're in college, you loser. I am sucking two dicks as I write this."
April 8, 2026 at 1:27 AM
grunionguy.bsky.social
Technically, the many TITS and asses of evil.
The cover of Eclipso: The Darkness Within #2 which prominently displays Starfire's ass and nearly Black Canary's taint and Phase's ass (partially obscured by the Direct Shop ISBN box). I have used Corel Photopaint 2000 to change "The Many Faces of Evil!" to "The Many Asses of Evil!" I did it with my own dexterity and tools in Corel Photopaint. It was really very simple but then I've been using it for 25+ years. You don't fucking need AI, assholes. Or a newfangled photoshop program that comes with a monthly subscription. If you can imagine it, you can fucking do it yourself with tools at hand.
April 8, 2026 at 12:12 AM
grunionguy.bsky.social
Truly the most publishable and epic.
Banner for an old No Apologies! Press feature highlighting Grunion Guy's stories. It reads, "Publishable Stories, Epics and Novels. All stories thought up and written all by Grunion Guy" There is a picture of a handsome individual wearing a suit that looks like a beachball. His frizzy hair is piled high on his head. His lips might be considered massive fish lips (possibly because his father was a tuna). A jaunty little green fish waves from over his shoulder. In the corner is the link back triangle to the index pag that reads "An NA!P Presentation"
March 29, 2026 at 6:39 PM
grunionguy.bsky.social
My first SR was, um, Rassenschande. Eeep!
Super Rare Wikipedia battle card: Rassenschande, the German anti-miscegenation concept of Racial Shame.
March 18, 2026 at 4:28 AM
grunionguy.bsky.social
"I have never seen a more sublime demonstration of the totalitarian mind, a mind which might be likened unto a system of gears whose teeth have been filed off at random. Such a snaggle-toothed thought machine, driven by a standard or even by a substandard libido, whirls with the jerky, noisy, gaudy pointlessness of a cuckoo clock in Hell. The boss G-man concluded wrongly that there were no teeth on the gears of the mind of Jones. 'You're completely crazy,' he said. Jones wasn't completely crazy. The dismaying thing about the classic totalitarian mind is that any given gear, though mutilated, will have at its circumference unbroken sequences of teeth that are immaculately maintained, that are exquisitely machined. Hence the cuckoo clock in Hell—keeping perfect time for eight minutes and twenty-three seconds, jumping ahead fourteen minutes, keeping perfect time for six seconds, jumping ahead two seconds, keeping perfect time for two hours and one second, then jumping ahead a year. The missing teeth, of course, are simple, obvious truths, truths available and comprehensible even to ten-year-olds, in most cases. The willful filing off of gear teeth, the willful doing without certain obvious pieces of information—" --Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night, 1961.
March 15, 2026 at 7:11 AM
grunionguy.bsky.social
This guy was probably staying nearby and got a boner.
Jack Hawksmoor of The Authority
March 11, 2026 at 2:33 PM
grunionguy.bsky.social
Gravy enjoying her gravy like a prim lady.
Tuxedo Cat (Gravy!) standing up doing a penguin imitation as she guzzles Churu.
March 6, 2026 at 3:14 AM
grunionguy.bsky.social
Mine from elementary school. Battlestar Galactica featuring the friendliest Cylon ever:
Battlestar Galactica lunchbox from the '70s. Friendly Cylon waving as the kid and the robot dog run by. What? I'm supposed to remember their names?! You're on the Internet! Look 'em up!
March 6, 2026 at 2:44 AM
grunionguy.bsky.social
Drop someone annoying
Stingy from Lazytown looking irritating while wearing the completely wrong shoes for his asinine bright yellow getup. Vest too small. Shorts too high (both waist and cuffs). So gross. I hate him.
March 4, 2026 at 2:51 AM
grunionguy.bsky.social
Wait. Was this a thing? Was Darth Vader '70s Babadook?
Excerpt from Stephen King's Cujo: "A party of four at the next table, three in UMP tennis shirts and one wearing a faded T-shirt with the legend DARTH VADER IS GAY written across the front, began to applaud."
March 1, 2026 at 1:58 AM
grunionguy.bsky.social
Gravy relaxing like a chump.
The most handsome tuxedo cat you've ever seen relaxes with arms straight out and looking up at her human, um, lovingly? Games shelf in the background!
February 21, 2026 at 7:56 PM