@hardlyever.bsky.social
Still waiting for Godot; donating blood, not money; thinking another cat might solve my problems; drawing up plans for a new political party aimed at regular people who just want to live in the past. Well, not pre-microwave past.
Pinned
I don't understand how people can have a social life after forty. By the time I treat my hair loss, toenail fungus, eczema, receding gums, and occasional cold sores, I'm ready to zonk out.
May 12, 2025 at 8:51 PM
Reposted
I seriously doubt God is still into organ music.
March 28, 2025 at 5:59 PM
I seriously doubt God is still into organ music.
I googled "bundigsroman" but Google gave me "bildungsroman" which is what I was thinking of but couldn't remember. How did people remember stuff before Google??
March 23, 2025 at 7:55 PM
I googled "bundigsroman" but Google gave me "bildungsroman" which is what I was thinking of but couldn't remember. How did people remember stuff before Google??
Reposted
To whoever Yelped that the cafe prices are too high and they want to see the manager caged, we use the zoo friendly euphemism, “safely housed.”
You would like to see the cafe manager safely housed.
You would like to see the cafe manager safely housed.
March 13, 2025 at 4:53 AM
To whoever Yelped that the cafe prices are too high and they want to see the manager caged, we use the zoo friendly euphemism, “safely housed.”
You would like to see the cafe manager safely housed.
You would like to see the cafe manager safely housed.
Reposted
“This was the only way I could speak with you in private. That human woman you’re dating? She’s trying to kill you.”
March 7, 2025 at 2:01 AM
“This was the only way I could speak with you in private. That human woman you’re dating? She’s trying to kill you.”
Reposted
"We've detected suspicious activity on your account."
That was me; I bought seven cases of goat milk for a bath later tonight.
That was me; I bought seven cases of goat milk for a bath later tonight.
March 7, 2025 at 3:48 AM
"We've detected suspicious activity on your account."
That was me; I bought seven cases of goat milk for a bath later tonight.
That was me; I bought seven cases of goat milk for a bath later tonight.
HAPPY NATIONAL MARGARITA DAY! Every February 22nd.
February 22, 2025 at 9:46 PM
HAPPY NATIONAL MARGARITA DAY! Every February 22nd.
Reposted
If life imitates art then this one's a Jackson Pollock.
February 21, 2025 at 5:54 PM
If life imitates art then this one's a Jackson Pollock.
Reposted
The most important rule of driving is never let your car touch another car
February 20, 2025 at 6:05 PM
The most important rule of driving is never let your car touch another car
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God offers hope to the hopeless. Joy to the joyless. And love to the loveless. Sadly, no word on the Lamborghiniless yet.
February 14, 2025 at 7:05 PM
God offers hope to the hopeless. Joy to the joyless. And love to the loveless. Sadly, no word on the Lamborghiniless yet.
I don't understand how people can have a social life after forty. By the time I treat my hair loss, toenail fungus, eczema, receding gums, and occasional cold sores, I'm ready to zonk out.
February 20, 2025 at 6:20 AM
I don't understand how people can have a social life after forty. By the time I treat my hair loss, toenail fungus, eczema, receding gums, and occasional cold sores, I'm ready to zonk out.
Reposted
We thought the future was going to be like star trek: embracing hope, technology, equality, cooperation, and multiculturalism, but instead it's like this
February 16, 2025 at 5:38 AM
We thought the future was going to be like star trek: embracing hope, technology, equality, cooperation, and multiculturalism, but instead it's like this
Reposted
I can be nerdy but not "learn Klingon" nerdy
February 13, 2025 at 6:52 PM
I can be nerdy but not "learn Klingon" nerdy
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to catch a bus you must think like a bus
May 15, 2024 at 10:40 PM
to catch a bus you must think like a bus
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Walt Whitman was a great poet but he really knocked it out of the park with his chocolate sampler.
February 15, 2025 at 5:15 AM
Walt Whitman was a great poet but he really knocked it out of the park with his chocolate sampler.
Reposted
HER: I’m leaving you
ME: (huge mouth full of jellybeans) what took you so long
ME: (huge mouth full of jellybeans) what took you so long
February 15, 2025 at 4:55 AM
HER: I’m leaving you
ME: (huge mouth full of jellybeans) what took you so long
ME: (huge mouth full of jellybeans) what took you so long
Reposted
this is so embarrassing in front of the other parallel universes
January 22, 2025 at 3:31 PM
this is so embarrassing in front of the other parallel universes
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The thing they don’t tell you about Cupid’s arrow is how fucking big the exit wound is.
January 20, 2024 at 4:12 PM
The thing they don’t tell you about Cupid’s arrow is how fucking big the exit wound is.
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(Addressing United Nations)
Right, so then we're all agreed that we'll all stop typing 'ur'?
Right, so then we're all agreed that we'll all stop typing 'ur'?
February 12, 2025 at 2:19 PM
(Addressing United Nations)
Right, so then we're all agreed that we'll all stop typing 'ur'?
Right, so then we're all agreed that we'll all stop typing 'ur'?
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Tomorrow or maybe the day after I’ll be the change I wish to see in the world. Friday latest.
February 9, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Tomorrow or maybe the day after I’ll be the change I wish to see in the world. Friday latest.
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[first day as a vet]
me: what's wrong?
cat: meow
me: yes, but where?
me: what's wrong?
cat: meow
me: yes, but where?
February 13, 2025 at 7:26 PM
[first day as a vet]
me: what's wrong?
cat: meow
me: yes, but where?
me: what's wrong?
cat: meow
me: yes, but where?
Reposted
I was raised by wolves, and they did a bad job. I absolutely suck at wolf stuff
February 7, 2025 at 7:10 PM
I was raised by wolves, and they did a bad job. I absolutely suck at wolf stuff
Reposted
When God closes a door, it's because he has the heat on, and what, do you think he's *made* of money?
February 13, 2025 at 7:20 PM
When God closes a door, it's because he has the heat on, and what, do you think he's *made* of money?