Davy Hulme
@hulme.bsky.social
I’m posting jokes/pics I’ve received/sent on MMS/sms/email from the last 15 years. Enjoy 😊
The police are investigating an abandoned car with an incomplete set of golf clubs inside.
They're still looking for the driver.
They're still looking for the driver.
September 17, 2026 at 7:14 AM
The police are investigating an abandoned car with an incomplete set of golf clubs inside.
They're still looking for the driver.
They're still looking for the driver.
I've received the news that I'm a kleptomaniac.
I took it rather easily.
I took it rather easily.
September 16, 2026 at 6:52 AM
I've received the news that I'm a kleptomaniac.
I took it rather easily.
I took it rather easily.
Lord Nelson was about 5ft 6.
His statue is 17ft 4.
That’s Horatio of about 3:1
His statue is 17ft 4.
That’s Horatio of about 3:1
September 14, 2026 at 8:52 AM
Lord Nelson was about 5ft 6.
His statue is 17ft 4.
That’s Horatio of about 3:1
His statue is 17ft 4.
That’s Horatio of about 3:1
What do you call a typo on a gravestone?
A grave mistake.
A grave mistake.
September 13, 2026 at 8:35 AM
What do you call a typo on a gravestone?
A grave mistake.
A grave mistake.
Starmer didn't want to play Macbeth but Burnham would.
September 11, 2026 at 1:05 PM
Starmer didn't want to play Macbeth but Burnham would.
What was the slogan for Shakespeare's camping shop?
“Now is the winter of our discount tents.”
“Now is the winter of our discount tents.”
September 11, 2026 at 6:46 AM
What was the slogan for Shakespeare's camping shop?
“Now is the winter of our discount tents.”
“Now is the winter of our discount tents.”
Addicted to seaweed?
Time to sea kelp.
Time to sea kelp.
September 10, 2026 at 9:26 AM
Addicted to seaweed?
Time to sea kelp.
Time to sea kelp.
My doctor was supposed to make a house call yesterday but he never turned up.
I tried calling the surgery but of course no reply.
This morning I was feeling a bit better, I opened the door to get some air, and that’s when I saw the apple on the front step…
I tried calling the surgery but of course no reply.
This morning I was feeling a bit better, I opened the door to get some air, and that’s when I saw the apple on the front step…
September 10, 2026 at 8:13 AM
My doctor was supposed to make a house call yesterday but he never turned up.
I tried calling the surgery but of course no reply.
This morning I was feeling a bit better, I opened the door to get some air, and that’s when I saw the apple on the front step…
I tried calling the surgery but of course no reply.
This morning I was feeling a bit better, I opened the door to get some air, and that’s when I saw the apple on the front step…
There was once an Roman emperor who never aged past 19.
His name was Constant Teen.
His name was Constant Teen.
September 9, 2026 at 12:47 PM
There was once an Roman emperor who never aged past 19.
His name was Constant Teen.
His name was Constant Teen.
David Beckham's son turned up for a charity football match.
He asked, "What number shirt should I wear, Dad?"
David said, "Wear 4 out there Romeo!"
He asked, "What number shirt should I wear, Dad?"
David said, "Wear 4 out there Romeo!"
September 8, 2026 at 7:18 AM
David Beckham's son turned up for a charity football match.
He asked, "What number shirt should I wear, Dad?"
David said, "Wear 4 out there Romeo!"
He asked, "What number shirt should I wear, Dad?"
David said, "Wear 4 out there Romeo!"
I don’t want to get too addicted to skiing…
It’s a slippery slope.
It’s a slippery slope.
September 7, 2026 at 7:13 AM
I don’t want to get too addicted to skiing…
It’s a slippery slope.
It’s a slippery slope.
How do seashells stay clean?
They wash up on the beach.
They wash up on the beach.
September 6, 2026 at 8:07 AM
How do seashells stay clean?
They wash up on the beach.
They wash up on the beach.
The world hokey cokey champion died last week.
It took them two days to get him in the coffin.
It took them two days to get him in the coffin.
September 6, 2026 at 7:39 AM
The world hokey cokey champion died last week.
It took them two days to get him in the coffin.
It took them two days to get him in the coffin.
Breaking News: Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world’s largest bedsheet.
More on this story as it unfolds…
More on this story as it unfolds…
September 4, 2026 at 3:24 PM
Breaking News: Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world’s largest bedsheet.
More on this story as it unfolds…
More on this story as it unfolds…
Who’s the greatest bodybuilder ever?
Frankenstein.
Frankenstein.
September 4, 2026 at 1:06 PM
Who’s the greatest bodybuilder ever?
Frankenstein.
Frankenstein.
Do you know why the life guards couldn’t save the old hippie?
He was too far out man!
He was too far out man!
September 4, 2026 at 8:05 AM
Do you know why the life guards couldn’t save the old hippie?
He was too far out man!
He was too far out man!
I’m reading a book about School
Truancy by Marcus Absent.
Truancy by Marcus Absent.
September 4, 2026 at 7:11 AM
I’m reading a book about School
Truancy by Marcus Absent.
Truancy by Marcus Absent.
I feel sorry for Tiger Woods. He won 15 Majors;
now he can't even drive.
now he can't even drive.
September 3, 2026 at 9:28 AM
I feel sorry for Tiger Woods. He won 15 Majors;
now he can't even drive.
now he can't even drive.
September 2, 2026 at 10:11 AM