Lauren Maleen
@janthina.bsky.social
It turns out Gen Alpha don't know what hole punchers are, which I guess makes sense, as ring binders are falling out of use. The downside is that until the novelty wears off, patches of white confetti are going to keep reappearing on my classroom floor.
September 17, 2026 at 12:16 PM
It turns out Gen Alpha don't know what hole punchers are, which I guess makes sense, as ring binders are falling out of use. The downside is that until the novelty wears off, patches of white confetti are going to keep reappearing on my classroom floor.
Reposted by Lauren Maleen
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i have exciting newssss
Rowling: there'ss a new harry potter out
King: a new harry potter?!?!?!
King: OMGG I AM SO EXCITED!
Poe: steve, no!
Poe: we discussed this
Poe: you know what the harry potter profits are used for
King: i
King: yes of course
King:
King: but
Rowling: i have exciting newssss
Rowling: there'ss a new harry potter out
King: a new harry potter?!?!?!
King: OMGG I AM SO EXCITED!
Poe: steve, no!
Poe: we discussed this
Poe: you know what the harry potter profits are used for
King: i
King: yes of course
King:
King: but
March 25, 2026 at 4:39 PM
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i have exciting newssss
Rowling: there'ss a new harry potter out
King: a new harry potter?!?!?!
King: OMGG I AM SO EXCITED!
Poe: steve, no!
Poe: we discussed this
Poe: you know what the harry potter profits are used for
King: i
King: yes of course
King:
King: but
Rowling: i have exciting newssss
Rowling: there'ss a new harry potter out
King: a new harry potter?!?!?!
King: OMGG I AM SO EXCITED!
Poe: steve, no!
Poe: we discussed this
Poe: you know what the harry potter profits are used for
King: i
King: yes of course
King:
King: but
Reposted by Lauren Maleen
Can't stop thinking about this little guy who I've met 3 times now, down the street from my work. He can't be much more than 4 months old, and he's gotta be the friendliest street cat I've ever met. Climbed into my lap within minutes of meeting me. Just wish I could get him into a home 🥺
March 16, 2026 at 11:40 AM
Can't stop thinking about this little guy who I've met 3 times now, down the street from my work. He can't be much more than 4 months old, and he's gotta be the friendliest street cat I've ever met. Climbed into my lap within minutes of meeting me. Just wish I could get him into a home 🥺
Reposted by Lauren Maleen
What’s fucking enraging about this is that every lovely turn of phrase the AI churns out is human-authored. Google each fragment of the below - “forged in dying stars,” “created in stellar furnaces,” “the universe is not indifferent to us,” “implicated in something vast” - and you’ll find a source.
March 10, 2026 at 6:14 AM
What’s fucking enraging about this is that every lovely turn of phrase the AI churns out is human-authored. Google each fragment of the below - “forged in dying stars,” “created in stellar furnaces,” “the universe is not indifferent to us,” “implicated in something vast” - and you’ll find a source.
I had my first Dungeons & Dragons enrichment group today, for years 3-6. Questions ranged from "What even is Dungeons and Dragons?" to "Are you looking up the stats for zombies? Because you don't need to - I've memorised them!"
February 13, 2026 at 6:35 AM
I had my first Dungeons & Dragons enrichment group today, for years 3-6. Questions ranged from "What even is Dungeons and Dragons?" to "Are you looking up the stats for zombies? Because you don't need to - I've memorised them!"
Psychic AND physical damage and I still can't put the fucking thing down.
January 23, 2026 at 10:45 AM
Psychic AND physical damage and I still can't put the fucking thing down.
Reposted by Lauren Maleen
I wrote about how concentration camp regimes evolve and why it's not too late to stop this, even though we are deep in it now.
Into the abyss
The correct response to Dachau was not better training for the guards.
degenerateart.beehiiv.com
January 20, 2026 at 3:37 AM
I wrote about how concentration camp regimes evolve and why it's not too late to stop this, even though we are deep in it now.
Reposted by Lauren Maleen
Kid: Can I go toilet?
Me: Yes, just don't go on a side quest again
5 min later
Kid: I'm back! I bumped into [friend] he gave me this. *holds up squishy ball*
Me: DON'T THROW IT AT THE CEILING!
Kid: Oh. My bad. It'll come down on its own, right?
Other kid: Wow, he did go on a side quest
Me: Always
Me: Yes, just don't go on a side quest again
5 min later
Kid: I'm back! I bumped into [friend] he gave me this. *holds up squishy ball*
Me: DON'T THROW IT AT THE CEILING!
Kid: Oh. My bad. It'll come down on its own, right?
Other kid: Wow, he did go on a side quest
Me: Always
December 8, 2025 at 7:35 AM
Kid: Can I go toilet?
Me: Yes, just don't go on a side quest again
5 min later
Kid: I'm back! I bumped into [friend] he gave me this. *holds up squishy ball*
Me: DON'T THROW IT AT THE CEILING!
Kid: Oh. My bad. It'll come down on its own, right?
Other kid: Wow, he did go on a side quest
Me: Always
Me: Yes, just don't go on a side quest again
5 min later
Kid: I'm back! I bumped into [friend] he gave me this. *holds up squishy ball*
Me: DON'T THROW IT AT THE CEILING!
Kid: Oh. My bad. It'll come down on its own, right?
Other kid: Wow, he did go on a side quest
Me: Always
Reposted by Lauren Maleen
A moth got into the shelter tonight and it was the event of the season.
October 24, 2025 at 1:03 AM
A moth got into the shelter tonight and it was the event of the season.
Kid: Miss, spelling has no rizz.
Me: Um... yeah, I can't argue with that. Spelling has no rizz. You still need to learn it.
Me: Um... yeah, I can't argue with that. Spelling has no rizz. You still need to learn it.
September 1, 2025 at 10:26 AM
Kid: Miss, spelling has no rizz.
Me: Um... yeah, I can't argue with that. Spelling has no rizz. You still need to learn it.
Me: Um... yeah, I can't argue with that. Spelling has no rizz. You still need to learn it.
Me: This film is a parody
Child: It has parrots in it?
Child: It has parrots in it?
June 13, 2025 at 12:06 PM
Me: This film is a parody
Child: It has parrots in it?
Child: It has parrots in it?
Reposted by Lauren Maleen
Yf tech billionaires reallye reade their Tolkien thei wolde understande that it was the obsessive searche by Sauron for selfish immortalitye and individual power above all othir thinges that broughte disaster to Middle Earthe.
May 31, 2025 at 9:21 PM
Yf tech billionaires reallye reade their Tolkien thei wolde understande that it was the obsessive searche by Sauron for selfish immortalitye and individual power above all othir thinges that broughte disaster to Middle Earthe.
Reposted by Lauren Maleen
May 8, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Reposted by Lauren Maleen
I feel like we are seeing what the French Revolution would have been like if (a) Marie Antoinette had actually said “let them eat cake” and (b) then the entire French Court had repeated it for weeks on end anytime someone complained of hunger.
Bessent says that little girls who are sad about having fewer dolls should just have it explained to them that they will have a better life for it
May 7, 2025 at 3:29 AM
I feel like we are seeing what the French Revolution would have been like if (a) Marie Antoinette had actually said “let them eat cake” and (b) then the entire French Court had repeated it for weeks on end anytime someone complained of hunger.
Reposted by Lauren Maleen
Ich love my catte so much. Ich kan be full of worryes and anxietye and sadnesse, but then thys litel guy just hoppeth up onto the sofa and doth begin to starte purringe.
April 20, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Ich love my catte so much. Ich kan be full of worryes and anxietye and sadnesse, but then thys litel guy just hoppeth up onto the sofa and doth begin to starte purringe.
Reposted by Lauren Maleen
America: where having an autism awareness tattoo means you're an MS-13 gang member, but having a swastika tattoo just means you're a German history buff
April 16, 2025 at 5:45 AM
America: where having an autism awareness tattoo means you're an MS-13 gang member, but having a swastika tattoo just means you're a German history buff
One of Jasper's worst sins was to pee powerfully and liberally over the edge of a litterbox... onto the bottom shelf of a bookcase, ruining multiple books. 😱😭
At least these days we have enzymatic cleaners.
At least these days we have enzymatic cleaners.
The scribe of this book has written, “Here is nothing missing, but a cat urinated on this during a certain night. Cursed be the pesty cat that urinated over this book… because of it many others did too. And beware not to leave open books at night where cats can come.”
April 16, 2025 at 12:50 AM
One of Jasper's worst sins was to pee powerfully and liberally over the edge of a litterbox... onto the bottom shelf of a bookcase, ruining multiple books. 😱😭
At least these days we have enzymatic cleaners.
At least these days we have enzymatic cleaners.
Reposted by Lauren Maleen
Autism is not an "epidemic" because it's not a disease. Saying we don't know what "causes" it is absurd. It's genetic and, what's more, NORMAL FOR HUMAN BRAINS TO BE DIFFERENT FROM ONE ANOTHER.
April 10, 2025 at 6:38 PM
Autism is not an "epidemic" because it's not a disease. Saying we don't know what "causes" it is absurd. It's genetic and, what's more, NORMAL FOR HUMAN BRAINS TO BE DIFFERENT FROM ONE ANOTHER.
Reposted by Lauren Maleen
my HORRIFYING cartoon for this week’s @theguardian.com books
April 5, 2025 at 11:03 AM
my HORRIFYING cartoon for this week’s @theguardian.com books
Reposted by Lauren Maleen
Reposted by Lauren Maleen
@catsofyore.bsky.social Back in the 1950s when the National Archives of Australia was pretty newly formed & still called the Commonwealth Archives Office, the Victorian branch had TWO cats on staff, to control rodents. Thankfully, we have photos - please enjoy Archie (tabby) & Coco (orange?/white)
April 3, 2025 at 7:20 AM
@catsofyore.bsky.social Back in the 1950s when the National Archives of Australia was pretty newly formed & still called the Commonwealth Archives Office, the Victorian branch had TWO cats on staff, to control rodents. Thankfully, we have photos - please enjoy Archie (tabby) & Coco (orange?/white)
On the bus back from camp, we watched Moana, and at the end the kids worried we might not finish it.
Me: We're at the climax now, so we'll get to see the important bits.
*pause*
Kid 1: Miss, this isn't an English lesson.
Kid 2: Yeah, why are you talking about, like, "narrative structure" and stuff?
Me: We're at the climax now, so we'll get to see the important bits.
*pause*
Kid 1: Miss, this isn't an English lesson.
Kid 2: Yeah, why are you talking about, like, "narrative structure" and stuff?
March 29, 2025 at 1:07 AM
On the bus back from camp, we watched Moana, and at the end the kids worried we might not finish it.
Me: We're at the climax now, so we'll get to see the important bits.
*pause*
Kid 1: Miss, this isn't an English lesson.
Kid 2: Yeah, why are you talking about, like, "narrative structure" and stuff?
Me: We're at the climax now, so we'll get to see the important bits.
*pause*
Kid 1: Miss, this isn't an English lesson.
Kid 2: Yeah, why are you talking about, like, "narrative structure" and stuff?
Reposted by Lauren Maleen
One problem with the idea of reserving due process for law-abiding people is that due process is how we figure out which people are law-abiding.
March 17, 2025 at 9:12 PM
One problem with the idea of reserving due process for law-abiding people is that due process is how we figure out which people are law-abiding.
Reposted by Lauren Maleen
March 14, 2025 at 8:08 PM