jono smith
@jonomono.bsky.social
We may be projecting in the wrong direction again.
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin at a crowded Texas rally, speaking with his mouth full just to own the "vee-gans," but started choking. Tragically, he never learned the international sign. Until tomorrow.
October 9, 2026 at 1:51 PM
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin at a crowded Texas rally, speaking with his mouth full just to own the "vee-gans," but started choking. Tragically, he never learned the international sign. Until tomorrow.
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin, less concerned about any run-of-the-mill plague than these Dumocrats with out-of-control TDS—or what he calls “Super” TDS, or STDS. Perhaps Pete’s right: mandatory low-T screening at polling stations.
October 8, 2026 at 2:12 PM
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin, less concerned about any run-of-the-mill plague than these Dumocrats with out-of-control TDS—or what he calls “Super” TDS, or STDS. Perhaps Pete’s right: mandatory low-T screening at polling stations.
We love L.A., and we're going to miss you!
October 7, 2026 at 7:00 PM
We love L.A., and we're going to miss you!
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin and demanded a “no brown M&Ms” McFlurry, having these set aside to spray paint and glue to things later, for posterity. He eventually ate them anyway. Until tomorrow.
October 7, 2026 at 1:55 PM
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin and demanded a “no brown M&Ms” McFlurry, having these set aside to spray paint and glue to things later, for posterity. He eventually ate them anyway. Until tomorrow.
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin when he heard the news the McRib was re-returning. He always knew he’d think of something else to claim credit for before the midterms. Until tomorrow.
October 6, 2026 at 1:52 PM
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin when he heard the news the McRib was re-returning. He always knew he’d think of something else to claim credit for before the midterms. Until tomorrow.
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin, which came with a Monopoly game piece. His was obviously rigged, but Natalie’s (aka the human printer) won him a much-needed Jeep Cherokee! Until tomorrow.
October 5, 2026 at 1:42 PM
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin, which came with a Monopoly game piece. His was obviously rigged, but Natalie’s (aka the human printer) won him a much-needed Jeep Cherokee! Until tomorrow.
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin, but he’s all out of give a damns about how a Harry Enten defenestration could implicate his administration. Until tomorrow.
October 4, 2026 at 2:41 PM
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin, but he’s all out of give a damns about how a Harry Enten defenestration could implicate his administration. Until tomorrow.
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin, and despite knowing more than anybody he knows about the Village No Wave scene in the late ‘70s, he found himself playing catch-up with Lizzy Mercier Descloux’s output, yet suspects they may have made out. Until tomorrow.
October 3, 2026 at 1:45 PM
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin, and despite knowing more than anybody he knows about the Village No Wave scene in the late ‘70s, he found himself playing catch-up with Lizzy Mercier Descloux’s output, yet suspects they may have made out. Until tomorrow.
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin and put it in the industrial hydraulic press too just to see what would happen. It went much as you’d expect. Until tomorrow.
October 2, 2026 at 1:53 PM
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin and put it in the industrial hydraulic press too just to see what would happen. It went much as you’d expect. Until tomorrow.
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin and—you’re only king once!—slapped a Hash Brown on it before announcing his big October Surprise, something he believed his voters really, really wanted: 10% off their gout medication! Until tomorrow.
October 1, 2026 at 1:45 PM
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin and—you’re only king once!—slapped a Hash Brown on it before announcing his big October Surprise, something he believed his voters really, really wanted: 10% off their gout medication! Until tomorrow.
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin and tapped the touch controls hidden under his suit pants near the top of his right leg that operate his new powered lower-limb exoskeleton, accidentally engaging the rear wipers instead of the front nozzle that dispenses the Creamy Ranch dip.
September 30, 2026 at 2:03 PM
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin and tapped the touch controls hidden under his suit pants near the top of his right leg that operate his new powered lower-limb exoskeleton, accidentally engaging the rear wipers instead of the front nozzle that dispenses the Creamy Ranch dip.
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin, fearing not only a “blue tsunami” but also a “pink” one after a third technicolor Mt. McDonaldland Shake. Until tomorrow.
September 29, 2026 at 1:42 PM
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin, fearing not only a “blue tsunami” but also a “pink” one after a third technicolor Mt. McDonaldland Shake. Until tomorrow.
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin and a spread of his favorite Latino voter food, flashing thumbs up as one does for the cameras, while Telemundo’s crew was detained. Until tomorrow.
September 28, 2026 at 2:03 PM
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin and a spread of his favorite Latino voter food, flashing thumbs up as one does for the cameras, while Telemundo’s crew was detained. Until tomorrow.
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin with Bibi Netanyahu, but it's Steamed Hams. Until tomorrow.
September 27, 2026 at 1:54 PM
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin with Bibi Netanyahu, but it's Steamed Hams. Until tomorrow.
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin. (Cut to F15 jets over a desert.) Then, fries in ketchup. (Cut to hugging the American flag and shaking hands with Jesus.)
September 26, 2026 at 1:36 PM
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin. (Cut to F15 jets over a desert.) Then, fries in ketchup. (Cut to hugging the American flag and shaking hands with Jesus.)
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin and, well, blocked, unblocked, temporarily restrained, passes restored… It’s becoming harder to tell the difference between White House press access and his Oval Office bowel movements. Until tomorrow.
September 25, 2026 at 2:00 PM
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin and, well, blocked, unblocked, temporarily restrained, passes restored… It’s becoming harder to tell the difference between White House press access and his Oval Office bowel movements. Until tomorrow.
How much would you pay?
September 24, 2026 at 9:19 PM
How much would you pay?
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin and raised his Diet Coke to toast President Xi. Terrific guy, a lot of fun to be with, but as they say, inscrutable. He couldn't tell how his line—“Xi enjoys McMuffins as much as I do, with the egg on the foo young side”—translated. Until tomorrow.
September 24, 2026 at 2:47 PM
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin and raised his Diet Coke to toast President Xi. Terrific guy, a lot of fun to be with, but as they say, inscrutable. He couldn't tell how his line—“Xi enjoys McMuffins as much as I do, with the egg on the foo young side”—translated. Until tomorrow.
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin, kept Mamdani at number one on his private diary’s “Muslim Communists I ❤️” list, and reinstated Lauren Boebert to his “Top Secret National Security Spank Bank” vision board. Until tomorrow.
September 23, 2026 at 2:27 PM
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin, kept Mamdani at number one on his private diary’s “Muslim Communists I ❤️” list, and reinstated Lauren Boebert to his “Top Secret National Security Spank Bank” vision board. Until tomorrow.
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin, then focused his Superior Intelligence on renaming McDonald’s menu items as he enjoyed a 6-piece… McCluckNuts. Until tomorrow.
September 22, 2026 at 1:47 PM
Good morning. Maybe he had his usual Egg McMuffin, then focused his Superior Intelligence on renaming McDonald’s menu items as he enjoyed a 6-piece… McCluckNuts. Until tomorrow.