@jonthethinker.bsky.social
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If you pile your furniture in the middle of your living room then set it on fire, you will have the warmest house in your street, for a few hours.
July 18, 2026 at 7:33 AM
If you pile your furniture in the middle of your living room then set it on fire, you will have the warmest house in your street, for a few hours.
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Morning Kitten
Orange Edition
Orange Edition
July 17, 2026 at 1:25 PM
Morning Kitten
Orange Edition
Orange Edition
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stop making me write self-evaluations
leave me alone and give me a performance rating of He Did His Job, please and thank you
I have no more ambition, I do not need a promotion, I will do good work, just stop bothering me about it
leave me alone and give me a performance rating of He Did His Job, please and thank you
I have no more ambition, I do not need a promotion, I will do good work, just stop bothering me about it
May 27, 2026 at 4:11 PM
stop making me write self-evaluations
leave me alone and give me a performance rating of He Did His Job, please and thank you
I have no more ambition, I do not need a promotion, I will do good work, just stop bothering me about it
leave me alone and give me a performance rating of He Did His Job, please and thank you
I have no more ambition, I do not need a promotion, I will do good work, just stop bothering me about it
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The older I get, the more my politics mature from childish, naïve beliefs like "the world is complicated and leaders have to make hard decisions" to more serious, adult principles like "hurting people is bad and helping people is good."
December 15, 2025 at 4:51 PM
The older I get, the more my politics mature from childish, naïve beliefs like "the world is complicated and leaders have to make hard decisions" to more serious, adult principles like "hurting people is bad and helping people is good."
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This is so perfect. "Dead Center" and he's so far to the right that he's half off the cover
I seriously do not know how this title got through even a single launch meeting.
July 29, 2025 at 4:10 PM
This is so perfect. "Dead Center" and he's so far to the right that he's half off the cover
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"This is like Gestapo-type of stuff, and it just blows my mind that there's a certain, certain ugly segment of the American pop population that's enjoying watching these families getting ripped out of their homes and, and you somehow think that America's gonna be better if this is done." - Bill Burr
May 21, 2025 at 3:23 PM
"This is like Gestapo-type of stuff, and it just blows my mind that there's a certain, certain ugly segment of the American pop population that's enjoying watching these families getting ripped out of their homes and, and you somehow think that America's gonna be better if this is done." - Bill Burr
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It’s Leslie Nielsen’s birthday & this is still the greatest gag in the history of comedy.
February 11, 2025 at 5:30 PM
It’s Leslie Nielsen’s birthday & this is still the greatest gag in the history of comedy.
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Watching the guy whose album my parents wouldn’t let me buy age into an elder statesman or electronic music has been really fun. I never get tired of the phrase “Academy Award-winning composer Trent Reznor.”
trent reznor said the song of 2024 was “espresso” and that just proves how cool he is
January 9, 2025 at 12:55 PM
Watching the guy whose album my parents wouldn’t let me buy age into an elder statesman or electronic music has been really fun. I never get tired of the phrase “Academy Award-winning composer Trent Reznor.”
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people in the south are on balance better at driving in winter conditions than people in the midwest/northeast because salt trucks are far more scarce. when they do face inclement weather they have experience driving through it on a far higher difficulty setting. in addition the food is better there
January 7, 2025 at 3:13 PM
people in the south are on balance better at driving in winter conditions than people in the midwest/northeast because salt trucks are far more scarce. when they do face inclement weather they have experience driving through it on a far higher difficulty setting. in addition the food is better there
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I grew up on margarine and lived to see the cultural vindication of butter, never let anyone tell you a better world isn’t possible
December 23, 2024 at 5:04 PM
I grew up on margarine and lived to see the cultural vindication of butter, never let anyone tell you a better world isn’t possible
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Everyone seems to think the Muppets are wonderful but I think it’s notable that Michael Caine, famously one of the nicest men in Hollywood and a good judge of character, never worked with them again after Muppet Christmas Carol
December 23, 2024 at 7:59 AM
Everyone seems to think the Muppets are wonderful but I think it’s notable that Michael Caine, famously one of the nicest men in Hollywood and a good judge of character, never worked with them again after Muppet Christmas Carol
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Delighted Health Insurance Executives Gather In Outdoor Coliseum To Watch Patient Battle Cancer
theonion.com/delighted-he...
theonion.com/delighted-he...
December 19, 2024 at 10:05 PM
Delighted Health Insurance Executives Gather In Outdoor Coliseum To Watch Patient Battle Cancer
theonion.com/delighted-he...
theonion.com/delighted-he...
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nothing gets past some of you
December 18, 2024 at 8:14 PM
nothing gets past some of you
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It is 2028, the Dems run a Liz Cheney-Rahm Emanuel ticket, lose 47 states to Don Jr/Lauren Boebert. Everyone agrees they could not overcome their "Free Luigi" problem
December 16, 2024 at 4:02 PM
It is 2028, the Dems run a Liz Cheney-Rahm Emanuel ticket, lose 47 states to Don Jr/Lauren Boebert. Everyone agrees they could not overcome their "Free Luigi" problem
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Remember, corporations steal more through wage theft than every thief in America put together.
Disney has agreed to settle California's largest wage theft lawsuit, paying out $233 million to 50,000 workers who are owned back pay.
The workers are owned this money because the corporate giant failed to pay them the legally mandated $15/hr minimum wage.
www.yahoo.com/news/disneyl...
The workers are owned this money because the corporate giant failed to pay them the legally mandated $15/hr minimum wage.
www.yahoo.com/news/disneyl...
Disneyland Reaches California Record $233 Million Wage Theft Settlement With Workers
The agreement comes after workers at the theme park negotiated a minimum wage raise to $24/hour in July The post Disneyland Reaches California Record $233 Million Wage Theft Settlement With Workers ap...
www.yahoo.com
December 16, 2024 at 3:43 PM
Remember, corporations steal more through wage theft than every thief in America put together.
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I'm a moderate on the issue of cars, I don't think they should be banned but I do think they should all be this. Now I know what you're thinking: what if I need to go fast or need more space? That's just too bad
December 14, 2024 at 1:25 AM
I'm a moderate on the issue of cars, I don't think they should be banned but I do think they should all be this. Now I know what you're thinking: what if I need to go fast or need more space? That's just too bad
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[I get home to find a note on the refrigerator that says "I'm leaving and i'm taking the kids"]
me: [unplugs fridge from power outlet] you're not going anywhere, you piece of shit
me: [unplugs fridge from power outlet] you're not going anywhere, you piece of shit
December 10, 2024 at 10:07 PM
[I get home to find a note on the refrigerator that says "I'm leaving and i'm taking the kids"]
me: [unplugs fridge from power outlet] you're not going anywhere, you piece of shit
me: [unplugs fridge from power outlet] you're not going anywhere, you piece of shit