professor snootle
@naomifullbloom.bsky.social
The Kelly of your nightmares
Pinned
I just need to feel a man hold my face gently between his big rough hands before he bends down, violently shakes my head, and screams in my face “WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU”
There was suspicious activity on my Bluesky account
September 9, 2026 at 9:36 PM
There was suspicious activity on my Bluesky account
What kinda stuff is there?
May 12, 2026 at 3:46 AM
What kinda stuff is there?
Debating showing Jake the movie Happiness
April 22, 2026 at 1:06 PM
Debating showing Jake the movie Happiness
Not to be a hater but every time I hear a Taylor Swift song all I can think about is how her fans must have brain damage
April 2, 2026 at 4:09 AM
Not to be a hater but every time I hear a Taylor Swift song all I can think about is how her fans must have brain damage
Juicers poop out all the fiber. Just like us.
April 2, 2026 at 3:10 AM
Juicers poop out all the fiber. Just like us.
A squirrel just gave me a raspberry
March 9, 2026 at 6:03 PM
A squirrel just gave me a raspberry
With everyone talking about Wuthering Heights lately I’d just like to say that I enjoyed Promising Young Woman to a degree and appreciated its message to never trust Bo Burnam
February 20, 2026 at 3:34 AM
With everyone talking about Wuthering Heights lately I’d just like to say that I enjoyed Promising Young Woman to a degree and appreciated its message to never trust Bo Burnam
You’re not gonna like the same stuff I like. I like stuff that’s bad.
February 20, 2026 at 12:31 AM
You’re not gonna like the same stuff I like. I like stuff that’s bad.
I Got 5 on It is a song about ordering pizza with your friends
February 19, 2026 at 11:33 PM
I Got 5 on It is a song about ordering pizza with your friends
Getting ready to eat my first meal of the day at 9:40pm by sitting silently in my bedroom for several minutes
February 19, 2026 at 5:37 AM
Getting ready to eat my first meal of the day at 9:40pm by sitting silently in my bedroom for several minutes
I keep getting ads for shit with women complaining about their “apron belly”. What the fuck is that. Leave me alone.
February 19, 2026 at 5:34 AM
I keep getting ads for shit with women complaining about their “apron belly”. What the fuck is that. Leave me alone.
It’s 1,000 o’clock
February 17, 2026 at 6:00 AM
It’s 1,000 o’clock
I have no children but when I was little I had a furby. So I get it.
February 16, 2026 at 3:06 AM
I have no children but when I was little I had a furby. So I get it.
I’ve never FaceTimed anyone (on purpose) but one time I answered a coworkers FaceTime naked in bed with my boyfriend. Luckily I had my phone up to my ear cuz I thought it was a normal phone call.
February 16, 2026 at 3:04 AM
I’ve never FaceTimed anyone (on purpose) but one time I answered a coworkers FaceTime naked in bed with my boyfriend. Luckily I had my phone up to my ear cuz I thought it was a normal phone call.
Smoking on that shit that made Foster bananas
February 16, 2026 at 2:57 AM
Smoking on that shit that made Foster bananas
If you see a buncha slim Jim wrappers in my bathroom trash can mind your business
February 9, 2026 at 12:28 AM
If you see a buncha slim Jim wrappers in my bathroom trash can mind your business
Most dangerous people on earth are natural redheaded women with intense crazy eyes
February 9, 2026 at 12:10 AM
Most dangerous people on earth are natural redheaded women with intense crazy eyes
Thank u Reddit for quelling my fears about my sourdough starter 🙏 god bless the corners of Reddit that are not disgusting and evil
January 28, 2026 at 11:17 AM
Thank u Reddit for quelling my fears about my sourdough starter 🙏 god bless the corners of Reddit that are not disgusting and evil
When freeway exits are on the left….. why you are one crazy chica
January 24, 2026 at 1:56 AM
When freeway exits are on the left….. why you are one crazy chica
I was so sick yesterday I lost over 5 pounds (probably all water) in 1 day
January 19, 2026 at 4:02 AM
I was so sick yesterday I lost over 5 pounds (probably all water) in 1 day
The Bride just looks like Joker for girls
January 17, 2026 at 10:47 PM
The Bride just looks like Joker for girls
I might have gotten suckered into booze and vaping, but I will never ever be a gambler. Especially an online gambler.
January 14, 2026 at 2:52 AM
I might have gotten suckered into booze and vaping, but I will never ever be a gambler. Especially an online gambler.
I’m closer to 25 than to 50 but it sure ain’t feel like it
January 13, 2026 at 7:02 PM
I’m closer to 25 than to 50 but it sure ain’t feel like it
Business idea: spanx for dogs
December 29, 2025 at 5:06 AM
Business idea: spanx for dogs
I wish we got more night earthquakes. It’s been a while since I woke in fright.
December 23, 2025 at 1:27 AM
I wish we got more night earthquakes. It’s been a while since I woke in fright.