Rabidmonkey
@rabidmonkey.bsky.social
Reposted by Rabidmonkey
😢 Dolly was the best of us
August 25, 2026 at 6:46 PM
😢 Dolly was the best of us
A. Definitely A.
The exception being if I'm severely lacking in caffeine (having withdrawal symptoms) and then have some. Technically, ceasing to feel like lukewarm dogshit does involve an increase in energy.
The exception being if I'm severely lacking in caffeine (having withdrawal symptoms) and then have some. Technically, ceasing to feel like lukewarm dogshit does involve an increase in energy.
August 25, 2026 at 2:05 AM
A. Definitely A.
The exception being if I'm severely lacking in caffeine (having withdrawal symptoms) and then have some. Technically, ceasing to feel like lukewarm dogshit does involve an increase in energy.
The exception being if I'm severely lacking in caffeine (having withdrawal symptoms) and then have some. Technically, ceasing to feel like lukewarm dogshit does involve an increase in energy.
I could have so easily returned home (on my birthday) to find her bleeding out on my patio. But I'm an asshole because I'm falsely accusing her, despite all the clear evidence of what must have happened.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do with her. She refuses to listen to me or respect my rules.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do with her. She refuses to listen to me or respect my rules.
August 17, 2026 at 10:24 PM
I could have so easily returned home (on my birthday) to find her bleeding out on my patio. But I'm an asshole because I'm falsely accusing her, despite all the clear evidence of what must have happened.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do with her. She refuses to listen to me or respect my rules.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do with her. She refuses to listen to me or respect my rules.
So this crazy woman went outside (despite the fact she can barely manage the step out), bent down to retrieve the ashtray (major fall danger), brought a butt inside, and lit in on the stove burner (burn risk.) All for maybe one hit of a wet, stale cigarette.
August 17, 2026 at 10:24 PM
So this crazy woman went outside (despite the fact she can barely manage the step out), bent down to retrieve the ashtray (major fall danger), brought a butt inside, and lit in on the stove burner (burn risk.) All for maybe one hit of a wet, stale cigarette.
Honestly assumed at that point that she rummaged my pants pockets while I was asleep, stole a cigarette, and hid it somewhere until I left. It wouldn't be the first time. But then I went outside and realized that the ashtray was about 6 inches from where I left it (no longer under the table.)
August 17, 2026 at 10:24 PM
Honestly assumed at that point that she rummaged my pants pockets while I was asleep, stole a cigarette, and hid it somewhere until I left. It wouldn't be the first time. But then I went outside and realized that the ashtray was about 6 inches from where I left it (no longer under the table.)
Eventually figured out that a large long john silvers crispy (from yesterday) had fallen into the tray under the stove burner and is now burned to a black crisp, which means the burner has been used while I was gone. Along with the charred crispy, there's a tiny bit of cigarette ash.
August 17, 2026 at 10:24 PM
Eventually figured out that a large long john silvers crispy (from yesterday) had fallen into the tray under the stove burner and is now burned to a black crisp, which means the burner has been used while I was gone. Along with the charred crispy, there's a tiny bit of cigarette ash.
Apparently this was a mistake.
I walk in to the apartment to the smell of something burnt. No evidence of anything having been over cooked in the microwave, or any food missing that she would have cooked.
I walk in to the apartment to the smell of something burnt. No evidence of anything having been over cooked in the microwave, or any food missing that she would have cooked.
August 17, 2026 at 10:24 PM
Apparently this was a mistake.
I walk in to the apartment to the smell of something burnt. No evidence of anything having been over cooked in the microwave, or any food missing that she would have cooked.
I walk in to the apartment to the smell of something burnt. No evidence of anything having been over cooked in the microwave, or any food missing that she would have cooked.
Is it weird that this reminded me of that cartoon caterpillar with German accent?
August 6, 2026 at 3:06 AM
Is it weird that this reminded me of that cartoon caterpillar with German accent?
Ngl, I'm a total sucker for hearing gay wives mentioned. Just makes me so happy. The more nonchalant the mention, the better.
August 3, 2026 at 4:49 AM
Ngl, I'm a total sucker for hearing gay wives mentioned. Just makes me so happy. The more nonchalant the mention, the better.
School starts later this week here, which is crazy.
August 3, 2026 at 4:46 AM
School starts later this week here, which is crazy.
Dick and balls with the face of a furby
July 22, 2026 at 4:33 AM
Dick and balls with the face of a furby
I'm already assuming it does and am waiting for more news
July 13, 2026 at 4:52 AM
I'm already assuming it does and am waiting for more news
I really like a pork tenderloin sandwich, but anything bigger than a 1 inch overhang is performative and ridiculous.
June 28, 2026 at 5:21 PM
I really like a pork tenderloin sandwich, but anything bigger than a 1 inch overhang is performative and ridiculous.
Since you're entirely correct about buttered and caramel corn, how do you feel about cheese popcorn?
June 16, 2026 at 5:18 PM
Since you're entirely correct about buttered and caramel corn, how do you feel about cheese popcorn?
No judgment, but wow. Several of my favorites made your ick list.
June 16, 2026 at 4:44 PM
No judgment, but wow. Several of my favorites made your ick list.
The fact that his shitty ass was born 2 months before my dad just feels so unfair, tbh.
June 16, 2026 at 7:42 AM
The fact that his shitty ass was born 2 months before my dad just feels so unfair, tbh.