River Scott
@riverscott.bsky.social
Award-winning queer writer, podcaster, 'comedian', tart
Olympic-level flirt
GET YOUR TICKETS TO MY LIVE SHOWS! https://linktr.ee/riverscott
Manchester & London
Olympic-level flirt
GET YOUR TICKETS TO MY LIVE SHOWS! https://linktr.ee/riverscott
Manchester & London
Reposted by River Scott
Be pet, gay dogs 🫶
May 21, 2026 at 10:37 PM
Be pet, gay dogs 🫶
Why yes, i am a child.
May 21, 2026 at 5:05 PM
Why yes, i am a child.
I'm so tired of being seen as nothing but a big natural pair of hairy pecs.
I ALSO HAVE BIG ARMS
I ALSO HAVE BIG ARMS
May 18, 2026 at 5:51 AM
I'm so tired of being seen as nothing but a big natural pair of hairy pecs.
I ALSO HAVE BIG ARMS
I ALSO HAVE BIG ARMS
Hi there, I'm Tits McGee.
May 16, 2026 at 4:25 PM
Hi there, I'm Tits McGee.
Reposted by River Scott
That Wes Streeting leadership bid in full:
May 13, 2026 at 2:09 PM
That Wes Streeting leadership bid in full:
CLOG THE HOT TUB OF IGNORANCE WITH THE PUBES OF YOUR WISDOM
May 7, 2026 at 6:38 AM
CLOG THE HOT TUB OF IGNORANCE WITH THE PUBES OF YOUR WISDOM
Reposted by River Scott
no mr blobby isn't a cryptid because the horror of mr blobby is that we KNOW he exists. he is a constant threat
December 13, 2024 at 10:15 AM
no mr blobby isn't a cryptid because the horror of mr blobby is that we KNOW he exists. he is a constant threat
Reposted by River Scott
We remember legendary author Sir Terry Pratchett - creator of the Discworld - born on this day in 1948.
GNU Terry Pratchett
GNU Terry Pratchett
April 28, 2026 at 10:39 AM
We remember legendary author Sir Terry Pratchett - creator of the Discworld - born on this day in 1948.
GNU Terry Pratchett
GNU Terry Pratchett
Reposted by River Scott
God there is so much stuff I would throw money at if I were a billionaire. Crazy projects involving fungi. Rewilding. Making all medieval art royalty free. Shit like this.
We've got such cow brained rich people. Braying idiots with less imagination than a cordyceps ant.
We've got such cow brained rich people. Braying idiots with less imagination than a cordyceps ant.
Scotland's heritage future as funding crashes. Society of Antiquaries of Scotland, said that despite the value of heritage tourism to the country (£6bn), the public money set aside for research and conservation has sunk as costs rise. www.scotsman.com/news/scotlan...
Scotland's heritage fights for future as funding crashes
Scotland’s heritage is hugely valuable to the economy - but systematic underfunding for the heritage sectors is putting its future at risk, it has been claimed
www.scotsman.com
April 26, 2026 at 1:19 PM
God there is so much stuff I would throw money at if I were a billionaire. Crazy projects involving fungi. Rewilding. Making all medieval art royalty free. Shit like this.
We've got such cow brained rich people. Braying idiots with less imagination than a cordyceps ant.
We've got such cow brained rich people. Braying idiots with less imagination than a cordyceps ant.
Reposted by River Scott
Related: MEN, please wear some sunscreen
It’s barely past midday and there are already some bright red lobsters on the train
It’s barely past midday and there are already some bright red lobsters on the train
April 25, 2026 at 12:29 PM
Related: MEN, please wear some sunscreen
It’s barely past midday and there are already some bright red lobsters on the train
It’s barely past midday and there are already some bright red lobsters on the train
Wasn't aware my plans for the evening involved homemade Pierogi and Horilka* and crying at Parks and Recreation, but here we are.
*A very strong Ukrainian spirit made from wine. Well. Mostly wine. Grapes, certainly.
*A very strong Ukrainian spirit made from wine. Well. Mostly wine. Grapes, certainly.
April 24, 2026 at 6:13 PM
Wasn't aware my plans for the evening involved homemade Pierogi and Horilka* and crying at Parks and Recreation, but here we are.
*A very strong Ukrainian spirit made from wine. Well. Mostly wine. Grapes, certainly.
*A very strong Ukrainian spirit made from wine. Well. Mostly wine. Grapes, certainly.
Reposted by River Scott
Yes, Swiss scientist Fritz Zwicky coined the term “dark matter” which is impressive, but he also coined the term “spherical bastard” to describe people who are bastards no matter which way you look at them, and I think that should be celebrated more.
April 23, 2026 at 6:37 AM
Yes, Swiss scientist Fritz Zwicky coined the term “dark matter” which is impressive, but he also coined the term “spherical bastard” to describe people who are bastards no matter which way you look at them, and I think that should be celebrated more.
I have a new co-worker.
She stopped our first meeting because it was 11.11 and she always makes a wish.
She stopped our first meeting because it was 11.11 and she always makes a wish.
an older woman in a blue sequined dress is sitting in a kitchen with a tv land logo in the corner
ALT: an older woman in a blue sequined dress is sitting in a kitchen with a tv land logo in the corner
media.tenor.com
April 22, 2026 at 7:22 PM
I have a new co-worker.
She stopped our first meeting because it was 11.11 and she always makes a wish.
She stopped our first meeting because it was 11.11 and she always makes a wish.
Reposted by River Scott
Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto https://theonion.com/man-who-threw-molotov-cocktail-at-sam-altmans-home-claims-he-was-following-chatgpt-recipe-for-risotto/
April 13, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto https://theonion.com/man-who-threw-molotov-cocktail-at-sam-altmans-home-claims-he-was-following-chatgpt-recipe-for-risotto/
Reposted by River Scott
Just checked and this is real - Scottish Labour’s manifesto refers to trans people using slurs and commits to a policy of explicit segregation in public life
April 13, 2026 at 1:29 PM
Just checked and this is real - Scottish Labour’s manifesto refers to trans people using slurs and commits to a policy of explicit segregation in public life
Reposted by River Scott
The #Artemis II astronauts said they needed more superlatives to describe their view of the eclipse, when the Sun was behind the Moon and its near surface was faintly illuminated by Earthshine
![Captured by the Artemis II crew during their lunar flyby on April 6, 2026, this image shows the Moon fully eclipsing the Sun. From the crew’s perspective, the Moon appears large enough to completely block the Sun, creating nearly 54 minutes of totality and extending the view far beyond what is possible from Earth. The corona forms a glowing halo around the dark lunar disk, revealing details of the Sun’s outer atmosphere typically hidden by its brightness. Also visible are stars, typically too faint to see when imaging the Moon, but with the Moon in darkness stars are readily imaged. This unique vantage point provides both a striking visual and a valuable opportunity for astronauts to document and describe the corona during humanity’s return to deep space. The faint glow of the nearside of the Moon is visible in this image, having been illuminated by light reflected off the Earth. [alt text from NASA]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:62gdkmpwa7xme36getyqnem3/bafkreicsf2kngfhvnbuq3xv3ywkavmqebetspzequuwsgndbpsknzbmwge)
April 7, 2026 at 1:25 PM
The #Artemis II astronauts said they needed more superlatives to describe their view of the eclipse, when the Sun was behind the Moon and its near surface was faintly illuminated by Earthshine
Reposted by River Scott
Listening in to the live Artemis II feed. I love the way they talk about everything (jargon, acronyms, plaing English) . Like a bit ago, an astronaut was talking emotionally about how beautiful the views were of the approaching moon, and Houston's CapCom person responded plainly “Copy. Moon joy.”
April 5, 2026 at 5:12 AM
Listening in to the live Artemis II feed. I love the way they talk about everything (jargon, acronyms, plaing English) . Like a bit ago, an astronaut was talking emotionally about how beautiful the views were of the approaching moon, and Houston's CapCom person responded plainly “Copy. Moon joy.”
THE ANCIENT TRADITIONS PERSIST
April 5, 2026 at 6:50 AM
THE ANCIENT TRADITIONS PERSIST
There's a spreadsheet and EVERYTHING
Updating my CV.
Going to put "I organise Queer Community events balancing multiple stakeholders with complex requirements" instead of "Occasionally hold orgies and need to ensure i invite the correct number of tops to bottoms and also remember who has beef with whom so they don't harsh the vibe"
Going to put "I organise Queer Community events balancing multiple stakeholders with complex requirements" instead of "Occasionally hold orgies and need to ensure i invite the correct number of tops to bottoms and also remember who has beef with whom so they don't harsh the vibe"
April 5, 2026 at 6:39 AM
There's a spreadsheet and EVERYTHING
Updating my CV.
Going to put "I organise Queer Community events balancing multiple stakeholders with complex requirements" instead of "Occasionally hold orgies and need to ensure i invite the correct number of tops to bottoms and also remember who has beef with whom so they don't harsh the vibe"
Going to put "I organise Queer Community events balancing multiple stakeholders with complex requirements" instead of "Occasionally hold orgies and need to ensure i invite the correct number of tops to bottoms and also remember who has beef with whom so they don't harsh the vibe"
April 4, 2026 at 12:54 PM
Updating my CV.
Going to put "I organise Queer Community events balancing multiple stakeholders with complex requirements" instead of "Occasionally hold orgies and need to ensure i invite the correct number of tops to bottoms and also remember who has beef with whom so they don't harsh the vibe"
Going to put "I organise Queer Community events balancing multiple stakeholders with complex requirements" instead of "Occasionally hold orgies and need to ensure i invite the correct number of tops to bottoms and also remember who has beef with whom so they don't harsh the vibe"
Instead of applause, I got everyone to stand up and swing their junk back and forth so it made slapping noises.
It went well!
People laughed. Even at some of the jokes.
People laughed. Even at some of the jokes.
April 4, 2026 at 12:46 PM
Instead of applause, I got everyone to stand up and swing their junk back and forth so it made slapping noises.
Reposted by River Scott
You heard the man: Drop your pants, bitches.
April 4, 2026 at 8:58 AM
You heard the man: Drop your pants, bitches.
Good news is good! 😁
(Buy... Why 'nearly 15'? Why not just say 14?)
(Buy... Why 'nearly 15'? Why not just say 14?)
BREAKING: After a late night at the Capitol to finish out the 2026 legislative session, we could not be more excited to share that WE DID IT! We successfully defeated ALL of the nearly 15 pieces of anti-LGBTQ legislation!
Swipe to read our full statement:
Swipe to read our full statement:
April 4, 2026 at 8:27 AM
Good news is good! 😁
(Buy... Why 'nearly 15'? Why not just say 14?)
(Buy... Why 'nearly 15'? Why not just say 14?)