@TheDiefenbunker
@seannelsonbc.bsky.social
Nelson BC based Métis author of soft-boiled mystery novel 'Stark Nakid'. Living the dream one existential crisis at a time. Noir shaken not stirred.
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
Just spitballin’ here, but what the actual fuck.
October 9, 2026 at 2:48 PM
Just spitballin’ here, but what the actual fuck.
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
Forever fighting the urge to say, "and then some," when the cashier asks if I found everything okay
September 28, 2026 at 12:35 AM
Forever fighting the urge to say, "and then some," when the cashier asks if I found everything okay
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
You’re not my real dad.
-Jesus, to Joseph
-Jesus, to Joseph
September 27, 2026 at 10:08 PM
You’re not my real dad.
-Jesus, to Joseph
-Jesus, to Joseph
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
Am I okay? I ask my friends this a lot, and I need a confident reply or I have to go ask my dog after that
November 13, 2024 at 2:05 PM
Am I okay? I ask my friends this a lot, and I need a confident reply or I have to go ask my dog after that
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
Two wrongs don't make a right but three wrongs, well now it's a party
August 14, 2026 at 6:58 PM
Two wrongs don't make a right but three wrongs, well now it's a party
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
is nothing sacred?
the answer may surprise you
the answer may surprise you
September 5, 2026 at 11:07 PM
is nothing sacred?
the answer may surprise you
the answer may surprise you
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
Wanna call each other’s jobs and pretend there’s an emergency and go grab drinks, or nah?
September 4, 2026 at 4:48 AM
Wanna call each other’s jobs and pretend there’s an emergency and go grab drinks, or nah?
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
some of you never had older sisters to tell you to shut the fuck up and it shows
August 12, 2026 at 10:46 PM
some of you never had older sisters to tell you to shut the fuck up and it shows
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
Dear 2026,
Thank you for submitting your manuscript. While the premise was sound (a rogue president installed in the White House), we found the plot confusing. It was simply too much, to the point where any reasonable reader would say, "enough is enough."
Thank you for submitting your manuscript. While the premise was sound (a rogue president installed in the White House), we found the plot confusing. It was simply too much, to the point where any reasonable reader would say, "enough is enough."
August 30, 2026 at 5:58 PM
Dear 2026,
Thank you for submitting your manuscript. While the premise was sound (a rogue president installed in the White House), we found the plot confusing. It was simply too much, to the point where any reasonable reader would say, "enough is enough."
Thank you for submitting your manuscript. While the premise was sound (a rogue president installed in the White House), we found the plot confusing. It was simply too much, to the point where any reasonable reader would say, "enough is enough."
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
Ask your doctor if laying down in the middle of the road is right for you.
January 27, 2025 at 6:51 PM
Ask your doctor if laying down in the middle of the road is right for you.
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
Dr. Seuss enters the exam room and I see him open his rhyming dictionary to the word “chlamydia”
December 17, 2024 at 4:38 PM
Dr. Seuss enters the exam room and I see him open his rhyming dictionary to the word “chlamydia”
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
I’m kept awake at night, sleepless at the thought of all the naps I denied myself as a child.
August 20, 2026 at 1:48 AM
I’m kept awake at night, sleepless at the thought of all the naps I denied myself as a child.
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
little known fact, Lizzie McGuire had a much cooler older sister named Shlizzied McGuire
August 19, 2026 at 10:47 PM
little known fact, Lizzie McGuire had a much cooler older sister named Shlizzied McGuire
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
I get most of my cardio from raising my voice
August 18, 2026 at 12:08 PM
I get most of my cardio from raising my voice
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
Stop. You had me at "The cheese was on sale."
August 18, 2026 at 4:11 PM
Stop. You had me at "The cheese was on sale."
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
I've been trying to be nice but the person at LinkedIn who thinks of new kinds of notifications should be killed
August 19, 2026 at 2:47 PM
I've been trying to be nice but the person at LinkedIn who thinks of new kinds of notifications should be killed
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
If I ignore you completely, that’s a sign of great respect in my culture
August 19, 2026 at 7:10 PM
If I ignore you completely, that’s a sign of great respect in my culture
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
After our mixed drinks I had mixed emotions about your mixed bag of mixed signals. I’m all mixed up.
August 19, 2026 at 5:57 PM
After our mixed drinks I had mixed emotions about your mixed bag of mixed signals. I’m all mixed up.
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
“I want to be part of your murder!” I call out to the crows
August 19, 2026 at 3:05 AM
“I want to be part of your murder!” I call out to the crows
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
A.I. just helps people who don't want to write make things people don't want to read
August 18, 2026 at 10:11 PM
A.I. just helps people who don't want to write make things people don't want to read
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
Fruity Pebbles is my favorite cereal that could easily be mistaken for aquarium gravel.
August 17, 2026 at 10:59 PM
Fruity Pebbles is my favorite cereal that could easily be mistaken for aquarium gravel.
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
If you stand by Mozart's grave you can hear him decomposing.
August 17, 2026 at 7:19 PM
If you stand by Mozart's grave you can hear him decomposing.
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
people just don't flounce around like they used to and it's a shame
August 7, 2026 at 10:34 PM
people just don't flounce around like they used to and it's a shame
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
OK but a dog and pony show does sound like a lot of fun
August 2, 2026 at 6:27 PM
OK but a dog and pony show does sound like a lot of fun
Reposted by @TheDiefenbunker
[first day as a firefighter]
[fights fire with fire]
[gets fired]
[fights fire with fire]
[gets fired]
June 4, 2024 at 8:26 PM
[first day as a firefighter]
[fights fire with fire]
[gets fired]
[fights fire with fire]
[gets fired]