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stuartbayens.bsky.social
That guy
@stuartbayens.bsky.social
520 followers 120 following 20K posts
A proud Canadian who gets annoyed from time to time.
Posts Replies Media Videos
stuartbayens.bsky.social
September 18, 2026 at 6:01 PM
stuartbayens.bsky.social
U.S. Space Weapon Revealed To Be Little Triangle That Shoots Bullets Out The Front
WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to sources, the on-orbit space control weapon revealed on Monday by U.S. military officials was apparently a little triangle that shoots bullets out the front.
babylonbee.com
September 18, 2026 at 6:01 PM
stuartbayens.bsky.social
Trump Vows To Send Every American One Million Dollars To Combat Inflation
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced a new plan today to combat inflation by sending every American one million dollars.
babylonbee.com
September 18, 2026 at 6:01 PM
Reposted by That guy
theonion.com
Trump Says Recession Unfortunate But Necessary Step To Get To Depression https://theonion.com/trump-says-recession-unfortunate-but-necessary-step-to-get-to-depression/
Trump Says Recession Unfortunate But Necessary Step To Get To Depression
September 16, 2026 at 10:00 PM
stuartbayens.bsky.social
Trump Promises To Bring Back $5 Footlongs If Republicans Win
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In his latest attempt to entice voters to turn out for the November midterm elections, President Donald Trump announced on Tuesday that he was promising to bring back $5 footlongs i...
babylonbee.com
September 18, 2026 at 6:00 PM
stuartbayens.bsky.social
Mitch McConnell Returns To Senate As Force Ghost
WASHINGTON, D.C. — One of the mainstays of America's legislative branch was once again seen roaming the corridors of the U.S. Capitol building, as Mitch McConnell returned to the Senate as a Force gho...
babylonbee.com
September 18, 2026 at 6:00 PM
stuartbayens.bsky.social
Man Waking Up From Year-Long Coma Excited To See How Unified And Virtuous The Right Became In Wake Of Charlie Kirk’s Death
ROANOKE, VA — A man awoke from a year-long coma this morning, then eagerly checked his phone to see how unified and virtuous the American political right became in the wake of Charlie Kirk's death.
babylonbee.com
September 18, 2026 at 5:59 PM
Reposted by That guy
thebeaverton.com
Trump says Canada having more friends is bullying
Trump says Canada having more friends is bullying
WASHINGTON, D.C. - United States President Donald Trump has blasted Canada’s recent cozying up to the European Union, going as far as to say that forging the new partnership is tantamount to picking o...
www.thebeaverton.com
September 18, 2026 at 1:51 AM
stuartbayens.bsky.social
September 18, 2026 at 5:58 PM
stuartbayens.bsky.social
A special announcement from Prime Minister Mark Carney | This Hour Has 22 Minutes
YouTube video by 22 Minutes
www.youtube.com
September 18, 2026 at 5:58 PM
stuartbayens.bsky.social
EU Declares Canada Weak Enough To Join Them
BRUSSELS — Speaking in Strasbourg, France, on Wednesday, European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen announced that she had deemed Canada weak enough to join the European Union.
babylonbee.com
September 18, 2026 at 5:57 PM
stuartbayens.bsky.social
Welcome back to Canada's Extreme Eating Challenge! | This Hour Has 22 Minutes
YouTube video by 22 Minutes
www.youtube.com
September 18, 2026 at 5:56 PM
Reposted by That guy
theonion.com
Horrified Guests Begin Gagging As Dinner Host Reveals They’ve Been Eating USDA Beef https://theonion.com/horrified-guests-begin-gagging-as-dinner-host-reveals-theyve-been-eating-usda-beef/
Horrified Guests Begin Gagging As Dinner Host Reveals They’ve Been Eating USDA Beef
September 15, 2026 at 9:00 PM
Reposted by That guy
theonion.com
Financial Advisors Recommend Throwing Away Unopened Bills https://theonion.com/financial-advisors-recommend-throwing-away-unopened-bills/
Financial Advisors Recommend Throwing Away Unopened Bills
September 15, 2026 at 2:00 PM
Reposted by That guy
theonion.com
Christ Does Soft Return To Gauge Interest https://theonion.com/christ-does-soft-return-to-gauge-interest-1819578856/
Christ Does Soft Return To Gauge Interest
August 29, 2026 at 3:00 PM
stuartbayens.bsky.social
Anthropic Boasts They Will Kill Off Humanity Way Before OpenAI
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — AI startup Anthropic held a press conference on Monday to proudly announce that its models would bring about the total extinction of the human race significantly faster than compet...
babylonbee.com
September 18, 2026 at 5:55 PM
stuartbayens.bsky.social
House Of Representatives Goes On Break After Long, Hard Stretch Of Not Working
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The United States House of Representatives canceled all scheduled votes and went on break to recuperate from a long, tough stretch of not doing anything.
babylonbee.com
September 18, 2026 at 5:54 PM
stuartbayens.bsky.social
Dyslexic Gavin Newsom Celebrates $1.87 Gas
SACRAMENTO, CA — Famously dyslexic Governor Gavin Newsom hosted a press conference today celebrating gas prices in California reaching a new milestone of $1.87.
babylonbee.com
September 18, 2026 at 5:53 PM
Reposted by That guy
theonion.com
Gas Station Price Sign Using Scientific Notation
Gas Station Price Sign Using Scientific Notation
September 16, 2026 at 9:00 PM
stuartbayens.bsky.social
God Promises To Spare Massachusetts If State Can Find 12 Competent Jurors
BOSTON, MA — A new report revealed that God promised to spare the state of Massachusetts if legal officials there can find at least 12 competent residents to serve as jury members.
babylonbee.com
September 18, 2026 at 5:53 PM
stuartbayens.bsky.social
State Of Massachusetts Declared Incompetent By Reason Of Insanity
U.S. — The State of Massachusetts has officially been ruled incompetent by reason of insanity.
babylonbee.com
September 18, 2026 at 5:53 PM
stuartbayens.bsky.social
Serving On Jury With Shrill Liberal Women Added To List Of Torture Methods Under Geneva Conventions
GENEVA — A diplomatic council convened over the weekend to vote on a supplement to the Geneva Conventions officially declaring serving on a jury with shrill liberal women a form of torture.
babylonbee.com
September 18, 2026 at 5:52 PM
stuartbayens.bsky.social
September 18, 2026 at 12:06 AM
stuartbayens.bsky.social
Video:
Traffic delays in southwest Edmonton could get even worse soon
Traffic delays are causing problems for drivers in southwest Edmonton, but a planned solution was squashed by the province, according to the area councillor.
www.ctvnews.ca
September 18, 2026 at 12:05 AM
stuartbayens.bsky.social
Video:
'Lunchbox Joe' returns to downtown Edmonton
Restoration of downtown Edmonton statue 'Lunchbox Joe' is finished, allowing the 400-pound figure to be returned to Churchill Square.
www.ctvnews.ca
September 18, 2026 at 12:05 AM