Tom Beasley
@tomjbeasley.bsky.social
Stationary words about moving pictures. Freelance film critic/journo. London Critics member. Editor @ https://www.voicemag.uk/. Host of a Waterloo Road podcast. 'Beta nerd' apparently. (he/him)
Portfolio: http://tomjbeasley.wordpress.com/
Portfolio: http://tomjbeasley.wordpress.com/
Zach Cregger obviously had a blast doing #ResidentEvil and I had a blast watching it. It's as narratively lightweight as possible, but packed with icky effects and absurd gore that I couldn't help but love.
September 24, 2026 at 9:47 PM
Zach Cregger obviously had a blast doing #ResidentEvil and I had a blast watching it. It's as narratively lightweight as possible, but packed with icky effects and absurd gore that I couldn't help but love.
My overriding feeling after watching Pressure (which is completely fine) was that it's very British to make a war movie entirely about the weather. ⛈️
September 24, 2026 at 9:40 PM
My overriding feeling after watching Pressure (which is completely fine) was that it's very British to make a war movie entirely about the weather. ⛈️
Really enjoyed being thoroughly wrong footed by #BadApples. And Saoirse Ronan simply does not do bad performances.
September 24, 2026 at 4:18 PM
Really enjoyed being thoroughly wrong footed by #BadApples. And Saoirse Ronan simply does not do bad performances.
Every time I see a picture of Ed Sheeran's recent on-stage statement, he looks like he's halfway through a Netflix stand-up special called Silenced, entering his 40th minute of trans jokes.
September 20, 2026 at 8:25 PM
Every time I see a picture of Ed Sheeran's recent on-stage statement, he looks like he's halfway through a Netflix stand-up special called Silenced, entering his 40th minute of trans jokes.
There was me getting really excited about the bird feeder with a camera my wife got me for my birthday. Turns out I've just got 9.5GB worth of blurry squirrel arse in full HD.
September 3, 2026 at 2:51 PM
There was me getting really excited about the bird feeder with a camera my wife got me for my birthday. Turns out I've just got 9.5GB worth of blurry squirrel arse in full HD.
This smile is very much from before the game. 🙃 Great to have Premier League football at the CBS, even if it didn't go our way today. #PUSB
August 29, 2026 at 6:06 PM
This smile is very much from before the game. 🙃 Great to have Premier League football at the CBS, even if it didn't go our way today. #PUSB
Very excited to be seeing Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma this evening. Jane Schoenbrun only seems to hit home runs, so I'm very excited to see what they've put together this time.
August 22, 2026 at 2:55 PM
Very excited to be seeing Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma this evening. Jane Schoenbrun only seems to hit home runs, so I'm very excited to see what they've put together this time.
I've read this list three or four times and I really can't find the thing I'm supposed to be outraged by.
One cereal bowl?! Stainless steel cutlery?! Two pillows?! Where are we putting them, the Ritz?!
One cereal bowl?! Stainless steel cutlery?! Two pillows?! Where are we putting them, the Ritz?!
August 8, 2026 at 10:35 AM
I've read this list three or four times and I really can't find the thing I'm supposed to be outraged by.
One cereal bowl?! Stainless steel cutlery?! Two pillows?! Where are we putting them, the Ritz?!
One cereal bowl?! Stainless steel cutlery?! Two pillows?! Where are we putting them, the Ritz?!
A plea to our media organisations and football pundits ahead of the England game.
July 15, 2026 at 8:22 AM
A plea to our media organisations and football pundits ahead of the England game.
They now come every day and they're getting brave enough to come to the feeders nearer the house! #ukbirds #gardenbirds #birds
June 17, 2026 at 7:43 AM
They now come every day and they're getting brave enough to come to the feeders nearer the house! #ukbirds #gardenbirds #birds
#ScaryMovie is a trainwreck. Not a solid joke in it. And why is everyone always shouting?
June 11, 2026 at 8:09 PM
#ScaryMovie is a trainwreck. Not a solid joke in it. And why is everyone always shouting?
Nobody does summer blockbusters like Spielberg. I'm not sure I took a breath for the last 20 minutes of #DisclosureDay. Loved it.
June 11, 2026 at 5:15 PM
Nobody does summer blockbusters like Spielberg. I'm not sure I took a breath for the last 20 minutes of #DisclosureDay. Loved it.
I had a lot of time for Tuner and Leo Woodall is super watchable, but it's perhaps a little too elegant for its own good. Could've done with some dirt under its fingernails.
June 11, 2026 at 1:39 PM
I had a lot of time for Tuner and Leo Woodall is super watchable, but it's perhaps a little too elegant for its own good. Could've done with some dirt under its fingernails.
It has been busy at the garden bird feeders this week and we even got a local woodpecker stopping by yesterday. #birds #ukbirds #gardenbirds
June 7, 2026 at 8:02 AM
It has been busy at the garden bird feeders this week and we even got a local woodpecker stopping by yesterday. #birds #ukbirds #gardenbirds
Finished watching #Rooster tonight and, in an era of bloated streaming shows, it was really refreshing to just relax and enjoy a fun, likeable, character-driven comedy populated by great actors. Very much recommended.
June 6, 2026 at 9:08 PM
Finished watching #Rooster tonight and, in an era of bloated streaming shows, it was really refreshing to just relax and enjoy a fun, likeable, character-driven comedy populated by great actors. Very much recommended.
CHERUB. Why has no one ever made CHERUB?
June 6, 2026 at 11:19 AM
CHERUB. Why has no one ever made CHERUB?
20 years ago, this image in response to the wishes of a grieving family would have ended a political career. Can we please revive that now?
June 3, 2026 at 1:02 PM
20 years ago, this image in response to the wishes of a grieving family would have ended a political career. Can we please revive that now?
Spending my BH Monday in an air-conditioned cinema with a Tango ice blast and some Star Wars. Way better than being outside. 😂
May 25, 2026 at 11:51 AM
Spending my BH Monday in an air-conditioned cinema with a Tango ice blast and some Star Wars. Way better than being outside. 😂
Absolutely remarkable bit of scoring in this week's Guardian Blind Date column. I *need* to know her criteria here. 😂
May 3, 2026 at 9:13 AM
Absolutely remarkable bit of scoring in this week's Guardian Blind Date column. I *need* to know her criteria here. 😂
Very happy with my #Cinematrix performance today, so I'm allowing myself a brag. 😂
April 2, 2026 at 12:04 PM
Very happy with my #Cinematrix performance today, so I'm allowing myself a brag. 😂
If you see this post a vampire who is not Dracula.
March 13, 2026 at 12:11 PM
If you see this post a vampire who is not Dracula.
This is an absolutely wild thing for THE GUY WHO MADE INSIDE OUT to say.
March 10, 2026 at 11:53 AM
This is an absolutely wild thing for THE GUY WHO MADE INSIDE OUT to say.