MyFriendJade
@yourfriendjade.bsky.social
25 They/Them
Pagan enby thing. I write a lot of poetry and bully fascists.
✨Please be silly in my direction✨
:3
Pagan enby thing. I write a lot of poetry and bully fascists.
✨Please be silly in my direction✨
:3
Pinned
MyFriendJade
@yourfriendjade.bsky.social
· Feb 13
googling "Gulf of Mexico" over and over until I get put on a list.
June 1, 2026 at 4:13 AM
Mr Stark, my tummy feel crazy.
June 1, 2026 at 2:37 AM
Mr Stark, my tummy feel crazy.
Remember: if you kill yourself, you don't get to join the black parade.
May 29, 2026 at 5:10 PM
Remember: if you kill yourself, you don't get to join the black parade.
Kleptomania, although admittedly I'm unmedicated rn
hey sexy i heard that bottle of pills rattlin in your tote bag, whatcha diagnosed with?
May 29, 2026 at 1:52 PM
Kleptomania, although admittedly I'm unmedicated rn
Flo Rida, Vanilla Ice, and Kid Rock. That's the remaining lineup.
Celebrating 250 years of America with the musical equivalent of a hexagonal cardboard bin at the Dollar General full of washed up DVDs.
Celebrating 250 years of America with the musical equivalent of a hexagonal cardboard bin at the Dollar General full of washed up DVDs.
May 29, 2026 at 1:46 PM
Flo Rida, Vanilla Ice, and Kid Rock. That's the remaining lineup.
Celebrating 250 years of America with the musical equivalent of a hexagonal cardboard bin at the Dollar General full of washed up DVDs.
Celebrating 250 years of America with the musical equivalent of a hexagonal cardboard bin at the Dollar General full of washed up DVDs.
Bro I cannot even begin to comprehend what this means.
Is she slapping that choccy moose on his schmeat? Is it laced with something? WHY DOES SHE NEED TO LEAVE THE PLANET!?
Is she slapping that choccy moose on his schmeat? Is it laced with something? WHY DOES SHE NEED TO LEAVE THE PLANET!?
If Ai in literature is bad then explain how this exactly the way my brother met his wife (I couldn’t sleep)
May 29, 2026 at 1:35 AM
Bro I cannot even begin to comprehend what this means.
Is she slapping that choccy moose on his schmeat? Is it laced with something? WHY DOES SHE NEED TO LEAVE THE PLANET!?
Is she slapping that choccy moose on his schmeat? Is it laced with something? WHY DOES SHE NEED TO LEAVE THE PLANET!?
HOLY SHIT THIS POST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK I THOUGHT HE DIED
The wonderful actor Keith David is set to be honored June 4 with the 2,847th star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, in the Motion Pictures category.
Guest speakers: L.A. Mayor Karen Bass, Lynn Whitfield, John Carpenter, and John C. McGinley.
Guest speakers: L.A. Mayor Karen Bass, Lynn Whitfield, John Carpenter, and John C. McGinley.
May 29, 2026 at 1:29 AM
HOLY SHIT THIS POST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK I THOUGHT HE DIED
If any of y'all are ever making a phone, something to consider-
I have never once wanted a notification from my photo gallery. That's where I put pictures, I don't need it to speak to me too.
I have never once wanted a notification from my photo gallery. That's where I put pictures, I don't need it to speak to me too.
May 28, 2026 at 6:10 PM
If any of y'all are ever making a phone, something to consider-
I have never once wanted a notification from my photo gallery. That's where I put pictures, I don't need it to speak to me too.
I have never once wanted a notification from my photo gallery. That's where I put pictures, I don't need it to speak to me too.
Hey 🥺
We- *sniffle*
We did another *sniff* ... it's another security update, I think. 😥
Can... can you- *hick* I just-
I really need ur data 😢
We- *sniffle*
We did another *sniff* ... it's another security update, I think. 😥
Can... can you- *hick* I just-
I really need ur data 😢
every windows app now updates once a day and will not shut the fuck up until you do it, great platform
May 28, 2026 at 6:02 PM
Hey 🥺
We- *sniffle*
We did another *sniff* ... it's another security update, I think. 😥
Can... can you- *hick* I just-
I really need ur data 😢
We- *sniffle*
We did another *sniff* ... it's another security update, I think. 😥
Can... can you- *hick* I just-
I really need ur data 😢
DON'T SCROLL PAST THI-
ah, who am I kidding, I ain't on no one's damn feed lmao
ah, who am I kidding, I ain't on no one's damn feed lmao
May 28, 2026 at 5:58 PM
DON'T SCROLL PAST THI-
ah, who am I kidding, I ain't on no one's damn feed lmao
ah, who am I kidding, I ain't on no one's damn feed lmao
Someone oughta do something about you. 🫵🙂
May 28, 2026 at 5:26 PM
Someone oughta do something about you. 🫵🙂
Now that I think about it, the whole "Avocado Toast" thing is hilarious. Like bro, that is bread and cheap produce.
I am simply applying heat to half of a single ingredient sandwich and these fucking crypt keeper land lords are telling me to eat dirt and put that $0.60 in an IRA. Like what?
I am simply applying heat to half of a single ingredient sandwich and these fucking crypt keeper land lords are telling me to eat dirt and put that $0.60 in an IRA. Like what?
May 28, 2026 at 5:22 PM
Now that I think about it, the whole "Avocado Toast" thing is hilarious. Like bro, that is bread and cheap produce.
I am simply applying heat to half of a single ingredient sandwich and these fucking crypt keeper land lords are telling me to eat dirt and put that $0.60 in an IRA. Like what?
I am simply applying heat to half of a single ingredient sandwich and these fucking crypt keeper land lords are telling me to eat dirt and put that $0.60 in an IRA. Like what?
Apparently sharing your youtube TV password with a buddy is... *Checks notes* Ah- defrauding the company and stealing their intellectual property.
Ben Shapiro is a turbo virgin.
Ben Shapiro is a turbo virgin.
May 28, 2026 at 5:07 PM
Apparently sharing your youtube TV password with a buddy is... *Checks notes* Ah- defrauding the company and stealing their intellectual property.
Ben Shapiro is a turbo virgin.
Ben Shapiro is a turbo virgin.
Btw, when you're at a 4 way stop, there's no such thing as being nice, I appreciate the gesture but for real-
Stop trying to wave me over. It's your turn. Drive your damn car. You're holding us all up.
Stop trying to wave me over. It's your turn. Drive your damn car. You're holding us all up.
May 28, 2026 at 4:26 PM
Btw, when you're at a 4 way stop, there's no such thing as being nice, I appreciate the gesture but for real-
Stop trying to wave me over. It's your turn. Drive your damn car. You're holding us all up.
Stop trying to wave me over. It's your turn. Drive your damn car. You're holding us all up.
Hardcore auramaxxing rn
(migraine)
(migraine)
May 28, 2026 at 1:14 PM
Hardcore auramaxxing rn
(migraine)
(migraine)
Getting subtly peeved when I stealth pass around strangers because my bad mental health wants people to confirm every self depreciating bias I have.
May 27, 2026 at 4:05 PM
Getting subtly peeved when I stealth pass around strangers because my bad mental health wants people to confirm every self depreciating bias I have.
Idk who needs to see this but-
Did you know that the toilets in the public bathrooms ALSO flush? that's right, just like the one you have at home!
same lever too, it's pretty crazy.
Did you know that the toilets in the public bathrooms ALSO flush? that's right, just like the one you have at home!
same lever too, it's pretty crazy.
May 27, 2026 at 3:50 PM
Idk who needs to see this but-
Did you know that the toilets in the public bathrooms ALSO flush? that's right, just like the one you have at home!
same lever too, it's pretty crazy.
Did you know that the toilets in the public bathrooms ALSO flush? that's right, just like the one you have at home!
same lever too, it's pretty crazy.
Saying "ha, ur mom" at the giant nuclear missile screaming towards my state capital so I can have the last laugh.
May 27, 2026 at 12:48 PM
Saying "ha, ur mom" at the giant nuclear missile screaming towards my state capital so I can have the last laugh.
My phone carrier has me on hold RN and their music choices are BAFFLING.
Solid mix of Johnny Cash style old time country music with the occasional 2010s Christmas song. Absolutely unhinged.
Solid mix of Johnny Cash style old time country music with the occasional 2010s Christmas song. Absolutely unhinged.
May 26, 2026 at 4:16 PM
My phone carrier has me on hold RN and their music choices are BAFFLING.
Solid mix of Johnny Cash style old time country music with the occasional 2010s Christmas song. Absolutely unhinged.
Solid mix of Johnny Cash style old time country music with the occasional 2010s Christmas song. Absolutely unhinged.
In the pussy hacking through her bush with a cutlass and a blunderbuss
May 26, 2026 at 3:21 PM
In the pussy hacking through her bush with a cutlass and a blunderbuss
Either I'm a puppy girl or I'm getting fucked by a puppy girl but one way or another, I got that dog in me.
May 26, 2026 at 3:11 PM
Either I'm a puppy girl or I'm getting fucked by a puppy girl but one way or another, I got that dog in me.
*me, 4 hours into the rap battle*
-sniff- where'd you.. uh- get those -sniff- sunglasses? The... sunglass store? 😥
-sniff- where'd you.. uh- get those -sniff- sunglasses? The... sunglass store? 😥
May 26, 2026 at 3:04 PM
*me, 4 hours into the rap battle*
-sniff- where'd you.. uh- get those -sniff- sunglasses? The... sunglass store? 😥
-sniff- where'd you.. uh- get those -sniff- sunglasses? The... sunglass store? 😥
Bro you're not the only one who had complications during your appendectomy okay?
It's not a competition.
It's not a competition.
May 26, 2026 at 3:01 PM
Bro you're not the only one who had complications during your appendectomy okay?
It's not a competition.
It's not a competition.
for the last time bro i'm not going to endorse your campaign in my homies discord server.
May 26, 2026 at 2:56 PM
for the last time bro i'm not going to endorse your campaign in my homies discord server.