##theborowitzreport
LightNews LightNews
ngage.bsky.social
Thanks, Andi #theborowitzreport (& @jimcook.bsky.social 😁🤓)👇
August 18, 2026 at 3:09 PM
dennissladejr.bsky.social
Just too perfect *and* spot-on a satire, I had to share it... #TheBorowitzReport
McConnell Retires: “My Work Destroying this Country is Done”
“I retire with my head held high, knowing that I am leaving the country in smoldering ruins.”
www.borowitzreport.com
February 23, 2025 at 10:18 PM
terrihermanponce.bsky.social
#TheBorowitzReport
December 16, 2024 at 12:55 PM
drivebyfluting.bsky.social
If you need a regular dose of humor in your life, I highly recommend #AndyBorowitz and #theBorowitzReport. That brings at least one guaranteed smile daily. Thank you. #humor #politics
March 1, 2025 at 3:22 PM
ngage.bsky.social
I repeat myself, cannot help it.
Thanks for sharing, Andy, #theborowitzreport
Sorry, World
Introducing the least diplomatic diplomat ever.
open.substack.com
November 13, 2024 at 6:10 PM
ngage.bsky.social
Thanks, Andy.
#TheBorowitzReport
Jeff Bezos Sells Washington Post’s Integrity in Latest Amazon Prime Deal
The Amazon product page called the Post’s integrity “a signature feature that made this former newspaper great."
open.substack.com
October 26, 2024 at 10:11 PM
ngage.bsky.social
#TheBorowitzReport - spot on.
Process Server Locates Giuliani By Following Trail of Hair Dye
“At first, I thought it might have been left by a car with a nasty oil leak,” he said.
open.substack.com
May 19, 2024 at 7:20 PM
tickle-b.bsky.social
#TheBorowitzReport
A Gift from Me
Happy Holidays!
open.substack.com
December 26, 2024 at 7:19 PM
afittnua.bsky.social
Fucking love #theborowitzreport.
January 25, 2025 at 9:16 PM
tigersclaw1.bsky.social
#TheBorowitzReport

It would be funny if Governor Newsom won.

I’m great with Greta Thunberg winning.

It would be 👩🏽‍🍳💋 if they gave it to Barack Obama just to piss off #🖕🚼💩🔬🍄🤡 djt
emmaidama.bsky.social Maida ☠️ @emmaidama.bsky.social · Oct 9
😂🤣 Newsom’s trolling is now at a whole new level 😂🏅
#NobelPeacePrize #Pinks 🌸
October 9, 2025 at 11:35 PM
mcpinson.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Kash Patel Rushed to Hospital After Suffering Trauma of Flying Coach
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/kash-patel-rushed-to-hospital-after?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=badto
#uspol #parody #theborowitzreport #KashPatel #petehegseth #airsickbabyforthewin
Kash Patel Rushed to Hospital After Suffering Trauma of Flying Coach
The FBI director was in a state of acute distress on the Spirit Airlines flight.
www.borowitzreport.com
February 23, 2026 at 3:22 PM
mcpinson.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
NATO Sprays Antipsychotic Medication in Airspace Over White House

https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/nato-sprays-antipsychotic-medication?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=badto
#uspol #parody #tbr #theborowitzreport
NATO Sprays Antipsychotic Medication in Airspace Over White House
Norwegian Prime Minister Jonas Gahr Stoere said, “We saw his letter to me as a cry for help.”
www.borowitzreport.com
January 19, 2026 at 8:07 PM
mcpinson.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
It’s unfair that Trump gets to sleep through his presidency and the rest of us have to be awake for it -- Andy Borowitz
https://substack.com/@borowitzreport/note/c-175182324?r=badto
#uspol #sleepydonnie #thenodfather #theborowitzreport #andyborowitz #humor
Andy Borowitz (@borowitzreport)
It’s unfair that Trump gets to sleep through his presidency and the rest of us have to be awake for it
substack.com
November 9, 2025 at 3:48 PM
mcpinson.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Stating, “I can see where this is going,” on Wednesday Donald J. Trump fled to Argentina, vowing never to return.
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/trump-flees-to-argentina?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=badto
#uspol #theborowitzreport #parody #Trump #argentina #flycoachloser
Trump Flees to Argentina
"I can see where this is going," he said.
www.borowitzreport.com
November 6, 2025 at 12:22 AM
mcpinson.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Failure On Parade

Trump's birthday crowd did an amazing job of social distancing
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/failure-on-parade?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=badto
#parody #tbr #theborowitzreport #uspol #dictatorparade #sleepydon
Failure on Parade
Trump threw himself a $45 million birthday party and nobody came.
www.borowitzreport.com
June 15, 2025 at 8:29 PM
mcpinson.mas.to.ap.brid.gy
Man Who Fell Asleep at Pope’s Funeral was Already Going to Hell, Says God
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/man-who-fell-asleep-at-popes-funeral?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=badto
#theborowitzreport #tbr #parody #Trump #popefrancis #sleepydon
Man Who Fell Asleep at Pope’s Funeral was Already Going to Hell, Says God
Although snoozing during the pontiff’s funeral was “beyond rude,” the Almighty said that the man clinched his place in the netherworld “decades ago.”
www.borowitzreport.com
April 28, 2025 at 2:16 AM
trinity721n17y.bsky.social
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
🎯 #thankyouforsayingit #theborowitzreport
Europe United in Belief That JD Vance is a Prick
Attendees credited Vance with ushering in a new era of European solidarity.
open.substack.com
February 16, 2025 at 3:39 PM
trinity721n17y.bsky.social
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz... another fantastic publication from #theborowitzreport 🖤
Palestinians Propose Taking Ownership of Mar-a-Lago
“Right now, Mar-a-Lago is a mess,” the Palestinian spokesman said.
open.substack.com
February 6, 2025 at 8:09 PM
mrmikeshea.bsky.social
I fucking love #TheBorowitzReport so much
January 15, 2025 at 2:01 AM
jack2011.bsky.social
The Borowitz Report is not the news, but it could be.

Who knew Elon Musk was a dirty, stinking, drug-den living scab-encrusted, black-eye wearing, drug addict?

#TheBorowitzReport @borowitzreport.bsky.social
#DruggedMusk #DrugAddledMusk #EcstasyElon
Trump Puts Musk in Charge of Absorbing All Drugs Coming into US
“I can’t wait for Elon to go wild on drugs," Trump said.
open.substack.com
June 3, 2025 at 11:55 AM
jack2011.bsky.social
The Borowitz Report is NOT the news...but it could be

#TheBorowitzReport @borowitzreport.bsky.social #PoliticalSatire #HouthisClamBake
Houthis Send Friend Request to Hegseth’s Wife
The rebels said that they want to “stay in the loop."
open.substack.com
April 22, 2025 at 11:53 AM
jack2011.bsky.social
The Borowitz Report is NOT the news, but it could be.

Eric Trump is one dumb fuck, but it isn't his fault. The rotten apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

#TheBorowitzReport @borowitzreport.bsky.social
#PoliticalSatire
Trump Claims Tariffs Were Eric’s Dumb Idea
"He was begging me like a dog, so I said yes.”
open.substack.com
April 11, 2025 at 12:21 PM
jack2011.bsky.social
The Borowitz Report is NOT the news, but it could be.

#TheBorowitzReport #PoliticalSatire @borowitzreport.bsky.social
Greenland Rejects Trump’s Offer to Trade JD Vance for Rare Earth Minerals
The island responded with a strongly worded rebuke.
open.substack.com
March 27, 2025 at 11:34 AM