February 26, 2025 at 8:31 PM
5 alarm fire, folks.
February 2, 2025 at 9:43 PM
5 alarm fire, folks.
White House Evacuated After Trans Alarm Goes Off
July 15, 2025 at 5:01 PM
White House Evacuated After Trans Alarm Goes Off
someone said "unc alarm" 😭
September 14, 2026 at 5:36 PM
someone said "unc alarm" 😭
White House Evacuated After Trans Alarm Goes Off https://theonion.com/white-house-evacuated-after-trans-alarm-goes-off/
December 30, 2025 at 12:00 AM
White House Evacuated After Trans Alarm Goes Off https://theonion.com/white-house-evacuated-after-trans-alarm-goes-off/
I don’t mean to alarm anyone, but the orcas now have two F/A-18 Hornets
May 7, 2025 at 1:20 PM
I don’t mean to alarm anyone, but the orcas now have two F/A-18 Hornets
White House Evacuated After Trans Alarm Goes Off
theonion.com/white-h...
theonion.com/white-h...
July 15, 2025 at 4:01 PM
White House Evacuated After Trans Alarm Goes Off
theonion.com/white-h...
theonion.com/white-h...
false alarm i found it
July 11, 2026 at 12:38 PM
false alarm i found it
US Sen. Brian Schatz sounds the dictatorship alarm
June 8, 2025 at 8:20 PM
US Sen. Brian Schatz sounds the dictatorship alarm
New Sympathetic Alarm Clock Just Lets You Sleep
December 9, 2025 at 3:00 PM
New Sympathetic Alarm Clock Just Lets You Sleep
My cat learned that the alarm sound means I wake up, and she snuggles on my chest right after.
I've been setting my alarm 30 minutes early every day to give her more happy time.....
I've been setting my alarm 30 minutes early every day to give her more happy time.....
August 15, 2026 at 9:53 PM
My cat learned that the alarm sound means I wake up, and she snuggles on my chest right after.
I've been setting my alarm 30 minutes early every day to give her more happy time.....
I've been setting my alarm 30 minutes early every day to give her more happy time.....
Jailing judges is a five alarm fire.
April 27, 2025 at 12:31 PM
Jailing judges is a five alarm fire.
Beautiful Dream About Blowing Own Brains Out Interrupted By Work Alarm
March 18, 2026 at 2:00 PM
Beautiful Dream About Blowing Own Brains Out Interrupted By Work Alarm
Members of Congress were just denied entry to the Department of Treasury. This is a 5 alarm fire.
February 4, 2025 at 9:49 PM
Members of Congress were just denied entry to the Department of Treasury. This is a 5 alarm fire.
False alarm everyone, Beth is fine.
August 9, 2026 at 3:09 AM
False alarm everyone, Beth is fine.
Smoke Alarm Sick Of Being Yelled At For Doing Its Job https://theonion.com/smoke-alarm-sick-of-being-yelled-at-for-doing-its-job-1845127577/
September 4, 2026 at 9:00 PM
Smoke Alarm Sick Of Being Yelled At For Doing Its Job https://theonion.com/smoke-alarm-sick-of-being-yelled-at-for-doing-its-job-1845127577/
White House Evacuated After Trans Alarm Goes Off
July 18, 2025 at 5:00 PM
White House Evacuated After Trans Alarm Goes Off
False alarm, everyone! Jets lost, all’s well.
The Jets are … playing well?
That can’t be right
That can’t be right
November 17, 2024 at 9:00 PM
False alarm, everyone! Jets lost, all’s well.
FIVE ALARM FIRE
JUST IN:
A Milwaukee judge has been arrested this morning allegedly because she “tried to help an undocumented immigrant avoid arrest after he appeared in her courtroom last week.”
There’s not a lot of info on this yet so stay tuned for more as it is released.
www.jsonline.com/story/news/b...
A Milwaukee judge has been arrested this morning allegedly because she “tried to help an undocumented immigrant avoid arrest after he appeared in her courtroom last week.”
There’s not a lot of info on this yet so stay tuned for more as it is released.
www.jsonline.com/story/news/b...
Milwaukee County Circuit Judge Hannah Dugan arrested by federal authorities at Courthouse
Brady McCarron, spokesman for U.S. Marshals Service in Washington, D.C., confirmed Dugan was arrested at about 8 a.m. at the Milwaukee County Courthouse and is in federal custody.
www.jsonline.com
April 25, 2025 at 2:43 PM
FIVE ALARM FIRE
Pull the fire alarm
February 5, 2025 at 11:32 AM
Pull the fire alarm