Poll Finds More Americans Putting Out Cigarettes On Arm To Reclaim Sense Of Control https://theonion.com/poll-finds-more-americans-putting-out-cigarettes-on-arm-to-reclaim-sense-of-control/
November 2, 2026 at 4:00 PM
Poll Finds More Americans Putting Out Cigarettes On Arm To Reclaim Sense Of Control https://theonion.com/poll-finds-more-americans-putting-out-cigarettes-on-arm-to-reclaim-sense-of-control/
There are a similar number of Native Americans and Jewish Americans in Michigan. I’d love to hear what Native Americans in Michigan think
November 2, 2026 at 5:42 AM
There are a similar number of Native Americans and Jewish Americans in Michigan. I’d love to hear what Native Americans in Michigan think
Election night is the only time Americans voluntarily watch 14 hours of math.
November 3, 2026 at 3:13 AM
Election night is the only time Americans voluntarily watch 14 hours of math.
Americans have had enough of broken promises.
November 2, 2026 at 3:43 PM
Americans have had enough of broken promises.
Poll: Americans Likelier To Vote For Candidate Who Hasn’t Barged In On Them In Bathroom Stall https://theonion.com/poll-americans-likelier-to-vote-for-candidate-who-hasnt-barged-in-on-them-in-bathroom-stall/
November 2, 2026 at 5:00 PM
Poll: Americans Likelier To Vote For Candidate Who Hasn’t Barged In On Them In Bathroom Stall https://theonion.com/poll-americans-likelier-to-vote-for-candidate-who-hasnt-barged-in-on-them-in-bathroom-stall/
Americans should probably vote today
November 3, 2026 at 10:38 AM
Americans should probably vote today
I hope Americans turn out en masse and resoundingly put an end to this thoroughly unamerican terror.
Video shows ICE agent pointing handgun in face of North Hollywood bystander
Video shows ICE agent pointing handgun in face of North Hollywood bystander
Video shows ICE agents detaining a man in North Hollywood, and then pointing a handgun directly in the face of an apparently unarmed bystander during a tense encounter.
www.latimes.com
October 31, 2026 at 12:08 PM
I hope Americans turn out en masse and resoundingly put an end to this thoroughly unamerican terror.
americans are voting
November 3, 2026 at 1:18 PM
americans are voting
Why did Americans stop watching 60 Minutes? Because they became too woke.
November 2, 2026 at 5:57 PM
Why did Americans stop watching 60 Minutes? Because they became too woke.
Americans can blame Donald Trump for the rising cost of gas, groceries, and health care.
November 3, 2026 at 2:51 PM
Americans can blame Donald Trump for the rising cost of gas, groceries, and health care.
Seems to me dying is the #1 cause of death among Americans.
November 2, 2026 at 7:19 PM
Seems to me dying is the #1 cause of death among Americans.
This is the reality for Millions of Americans!
November 2, 2026 at 6:46 PM
This is the reality for Millions of Americans!
The co-founder of the media brand MeidasTouch said that the president’s “emotionally disturbed behavior” is turning Americans against him.
Why Flailing Trump Will Suffer Crushing Defeat
Ben Meiselas details why Americans are turning on Trump.
www.thedailybeast.com
November 1, 2026 at 8:51 PM
The co-founder of the media brand MeidasTouch said that the president’s “emotionally disturbed behavior” is turning Americans against him.
These ghouls have total contempt for Americans and for the Constitution. Never give them a moment's peace
Roger Marshall to Trump: "This may be your last rally until your next reelection campaign in a couple of years."
November 2, 2026 at 5:18 AM
These ghouls have total contempt for Americans and for the Constitution. Never give them a moment's peace
GOOD MORNING PLEASE GO VOTE @ AMERICANS
November 3, 2026 at 3:18 PM
GOOD MORNING PLEASE GO VOTE @ AMERICANS
The “circle of doom” keeping unhoused Americans from the polls
The “circle of doom” keeping unhoused Americans from the polls
“Losing your home should not equal losing your voice.”
www.motherjones.com
November 3, 2026 at 1:07 PM
The “circle of doom” keeping unhoused Americans from the polls
As you head out to vote tomorrow, remember:
Republicans kicked 5 million Americans off SNAP and 8 million Americans off their health care just to give the ultra-rich a tax cut.
Republicans kicked 5 million Americans off SNAP and 8 million Americans off their health care just to give the ultra-rich a tax cut.
November 2, 2026 at 11:00 PM
As you head out to vote tomorrow, remember:
Republicans kicked 5 million Americans off SNAP and 8 million Americans off their health care just to give the ultra-rich a tax cut.
Republicans kicked 5 million Americans off SNAP and 8 million Americans off their health care just to give the ultra-rich a tax cut.
Americans will do anything to avoid using the metric system.
;)
;)
You can easily fit Switzerland inside of Kentucky.
And Switzerland has double the population of Kentucky.
thetruesize.com
And Switzerland has double the population of Kentucky.
thetruesize.com
October 31, 2026 at 3:32 PM
Americans will do anything to avoid using the metric system.
;)
;)
Don't let them fool you: We agree on more than we disagree on - and our candidates can deliver on the changes most Americans want and need.
November 3, 2026 at 12:00 AM
Don't let them fool you: We agree on more than we disagree on - and our candidates can deliver on the changes most Americans want and need.
did the new details of rape against the president threaten national security and/or endanger americans? is that why the times didn’t report it?
November 2, 2026 at 3:59 AM
did the new details of rape against the president threaten national security and/or endanger americans? is that why the times didn’t report it?
Trump: I don't think about Americans' financial situation
November 2, 2026 at 9:18 PM
Trump: I don't think about Americans' financial situation
Happy Midterms Day, Americans!Please, PLEASE don’t fuck it up
November 3, 2026 at 11:00 AM
Happy Midterms Day, Americans!Please, PLEASE don’t fuck it up
My fellow Americans, our long national nightmare is over
"You have that picture with the algae?" -- President Trump's closing midterms message
November 2, 2026 at 8:32 PM
My fellow Americans, our long national nightmare is over
You know what would really distract Americans from high gas prices? Lower gas prices.
October 31, 2026 at 1:48 AM
You know what would really distract Americans from high gas prices? Lower gas prices.