"This is like Christmas morning combined with Halloween night combined with New Year's Eve all in one" #AvisArgot
November 4, 2026 at 4:14 AM
"This is like Christmas morning combined with Halloween night combined with New Year's Eve all in one" #AvisArgot
Avi is cheering, "Blexas! Blansas! Inbraska!" Took me a second to understand that last one. #AvisArgot
November 4, 2026 at 3:40 AM
Avi is cheering, "Blexas! Blansas! Inbraska!" Took me a second to understand that last one. #AvisArgot
Me: Man, Trump is obsessed with penises!
Leo: Hey, thanks for exclaiming that during dinner, Mom.
Avi: Yeah. Real thanks.
#LeosLanguage #AvisArgot
Leo: Hey, thanks for exclaiming that during dinner, Mom.
Avi: Yeah. Real thanks.
#LeosLanguage #AvisArgot
Trump: Arnold Palmer was all man. This man was strong and tough. And I refuse to say it, but when he took showers with the other pros, they came out of there and said, 'Oh my god. That's unbelievable.'
October 28, 2026 at 10:11 PM
Me: Man, Trump is obsessed with penises!
Leo: Hey, thanks for exclaiming that during dinner, Mom.
Avi: Yeah. Real thanks.
#LeosLanguage #AvisArgot
Leo: Hey, thanks for exclaiming that during dinner, Mom.
Avi: Yeah. Real thanks.
#LeosLanguage #AvisArgot
(Scene: I hear a ton of screeching, hollering, and thundering feet coming from upstairs. Then I hear Avi come downstairs, and he ends up in the kitchen where I'm doing dishes.)
Avi (somewhat breathless): May I report horseplay?
#AvisArgot
Avi (somewhat breathless): May I report horseplay?
#AvisArgot
October 24, 2026 at 4:29 PM
(Scene: I hear a ton of screeching, hollering, and thundering feet coming from upstairs. Then I hear Avi come downstairs, and he ends up in the kitchen where I'm doing dishes.)
Avi (somewhat breathless): May I report horseplay?
#AvisArgot
Avi (somewhat breathless): May I report horseplay?
#AvisArgot
Avi's ode to underwear
🎶 It's a crotch protection system
Oh yes it is
It protects your
Cro-o-o-o-otch! 🎶
#AvisArgot
🎶 It's a crotch protection system
Oh yes it is
It protects your
Cro-o-o-o-otch! 🎶
#AvisArgot
October 5, 2026 at 11:36 PM
Avi's ode to underwear
🎶 It's a crotch protection system
Oh yes it is
It protects your
Cro-o-o-o-otch! 🎶
#AvisArgot
🎶 It's a crotch protection system
Oh yes it is
It protects your
Cro-o-o-o-otch! 🎶
#AvisArgot
(I was telling Avi about a hard time I had in 7th grade art class.)
Me: I drew these three penguins, a dada, mama, and baby, with white tummies. Then the art teacher came over and drew squiggles and curlicues all over their tummies.
Avi: 😧 …And they say violence in school is illegal.
#AvisArgot
Me: I drew these three penguins, a dada, mama, and baby, with white tummies. Then the art teacher came over and drew squiggles and curlicues all over their tummies.
Avi: 😧 …And they say violence in school is illegal.
#AvisArgot
September 30, 2026 at 2:19 AM
(I was telling Avi about a hard time I had in 7th grade art class.)
Me: I drew these three penguins, a dada, mama, and baby, with white tummies. Then the art teacher came over and drew squiggles and curlicues all over their tummies.
Avi: 😧 …And they say violence in school is illegal.
#AvisArgot
Me: I drew these three penguins, a dada, mama, and baby, with white tummies. Then the art teacher came over and drew squiggles and curlicues all over their tummies.
Avi: 😧 …And they say violence in school is illegal.
#AvisArgot
Me: How did I make something so precious?
Avi: 💨
Me: I — did you fart??
Avi: 💨 Yes. 💨 Sorry.
Me: 🤣🤣🤣 Seriously?? 🤣🤣🤣
Avi: 💨🤣🤣🤣
#AvisArgot
Avi: 💨
Me: I — did you fart??
Avi: 💨 Yes. 💨 Sorry.
Me: 🤣🤣🤣 Seriously?? 🤣🤣🤣
Avi: 💨🤣🤣🤣
#AvisArgot
September 4, 2026 at 10:25 AM
Me: How did I make something so precious?
Avi: 💨
Me: I — did you fart??
Avi: 💨 Yes. 💨 Sorry.
Me: 🤣🤣🤣 Seriously?? 🤣🤣🤣
Avi: 💨🤣🤣🤣
#AvisArgot
Avi: 💨
Me: I — did you fart??
Avi: 💨 Yes. 💨 Sorry.
Me: 🤣🤣🤣 Seriously?? 🤣🤣🤣
Avi: 💨🤣🤣🤣
#AvisArgot
Me: I love you with all the ferocity of a momma tiger.
Avi: I thought mother cats left their babies when they're 8 weeks old.
Me: …Well OK you have a point
#AvisArgot
Avi: I thought mother cats left their babies when they're 8 weeks old.
Me: …Well OK you have a point
#AvisArgot
September 4, 2026 at 2:04 AM
Me: I love you with all the ferocity of a momma tiger.
Avi: I thought mother cats left their babies when they're 8 weeks old.
Me: …Well OK you have a point
#AvisArgot
Avi: I thought mother cats left their babies when they're 8 weeks old.
Me: …Well OK you have a point
#AvisArgot
"Insuborbination!!" (Avi, accusing Leo of malfeasance) #AvisArgot
September 3, 2026 at 8:57 PM
"Insuborbination!!" (Avi, accusing Leo of malfeasance) #AvisArgot
Me: Hello angel! Were you sent down here with a message?
Avi: Actually Heaven is more of a bureaucracy.
Me: Oh?
Avi: Yeah, I'm so low-level, I've never even seen the higher-ups.
Me: Is that so?
Avi: Yeah, so I don't really know why I'm down here.
#AvisArgot
Avi: Actually Heaven is more of a bureaucracy.
Me: Oh?
Avi: Yeah, I'm so low-level, I've never even seen the higher-ups.
Me: Is that so?
Avi: Yeah, so I don't really know why I'm down here.
#AvisArgot
August 31, 2026 at 2:04 AM
Me: Hello angel! Were you sent down here with a message?
Avi: Actually Heaven is more of a bureaucracy.
Me: Oh?
Avi: Yeah, I'm so low-level, I've never even seen the higher-ups.
Me: Is that so?
Avi: Yeah, so I don't really know why I'm down here.
#AvisArgot
Avi: Actually Heaven is more of a bureaucracy.
Me: Oh?
Avi: Yeah, I'm so low-level, I've never even seen the higher-ups.
Me: Is that so?
Avi: Yeah, so I don't really know why I'm down here.
#AvisArgot
"We built this Avi… we built this Avi on ge-ne-tics!" My very literal baby. #AvisArgot
August 26, 2026 at 10:30 PM
"We built this Avi… we built this Avi on ge-ne-tics!" My very literal baby. #AvisArgot
Leo was withholding bites of his ice cream from me and Avi (we were both begging pretty shamelessly) and then Avi busted out with, "She does nothing but care about YOUR WELL-BEING and you give her NOTHING?!?" I about died laughing. #AvisArgot
August 23, 2026 at 10:08 PM
Leo was withholding bites of his ice cream from me and Avi (we were both begging pretty shamelessly) and then Avi busted out with, "She does nothing but care about YOUR WELL-BEING and you give her NOTHING?!?" I about died laughing. #AvisArgot
Avi: Momma, what does "Barizar" mean?
Me: …That's how Daddy says "Marissa"!
Avi: Oh, I thought it was a Pokémon.
#AvisArgot
Me: …That's how Daddy says "Marissa"!
Avi: Oh, I thought it was a Pokémon.
#AvisArgot
March 19, 2026 at 12:46 AM
Avi: Momma, what does "Barizar" mean?
Me: …That's how Daddy says "Marissa"!
Avi: Oh, I thought it was a Pokémon.
#AvisArgot
Me: …That's how Daddy says "Marissa"!
Avi: Oh, I thought it was a Pokémon.
#AvisArgot
Me: I told you I'd meet you in front! You weren't listening, per usual.
Leo: Yeah, we weren't. I thought Avi was listening!
Avi: I thought Leo was listening!
(repeat ad infinitum)
#LeosLanguage #AvisArgot
Leo: Yeah, we weren't. I thought Avi was listening!
Avi: I thought Leo was listening!
(repeat ad infinitum)
#LeosLanguage #AvisArgot
March 18, 2026 at 9:54 PM
Me: I told you I'd meet you in front! You weren't listening, per usual.
Leo: Yeah, we weren't. I thought Avi was listening!
Avi: I thought Leo was listening!
(repeat ad infinitum)
#LeosLanguage #AvisArgot
Leo: Yeah, we weren't. I thought Avi was listening!
Avi: I thought Leo was listening!
(repeat ad infinitum)
#LeosLanguage #AvisArgot
Avi says he's good at coming up with "quarter-baked ideas," handing them off to me, and watching me put them in a pie tin and baking them the other three-quarters 😂 #AvisArgot
February 24, 2026 at 3:21 AM
Avi says he's good at coming up with "quarter-baked ideas," handing them off to me, and watching me put them in a pie tin and baking them the other three-quarters 😂 #AvisArgot
The kids are binging THE OWL HOUSE and there's some kid named Hunter who's being an asshole and I was like, this dude SUCKS, and Avi was like, "he's a Zuko at BEST" #AvisArgot
February 22, 2026 at 11:40 PM
The kids are binging THE OWL HOUSE and there's some kid named Hunter who's being an asshole and I was like, this dude SUCKS, and Avi was like, "he's a Zuko at BEST" #AvisArgot
"The smell of insulin makes me think of you." #AvisArgot
February 5, 2026 at 2:55 AM
"The smell of insulin makes me think of you." #AvisArgot
Me (from bed): Avi… 😖
Avi (running upstairs): What? Do you need a hug?
Me: Yes but can you also get me a snack 😖
A: I need payment first. (snuggles me) OK, you've paid, but why can't you get snacks yourself?
Me: Migraine. Can't manage stairs.
A: Oh. What does a headache feel like?
Me: 🤬
#AvisArgot
Avi (running upstairs): What? Do you need a hug?
Me: Yes but can you also get me a snack 😖
A: I need payment first. (snuggles me) OK, you've paid, but why can't you get snacks yourself?
Me: Migraine. Can't manage stairs.
A: Oh. What does a headache feel like?
Me: 🤬
#AvisArgot
January 17, 2026 at 8:35 PM
Me (from bed): Avi… 😖
Avi (running upstairs): What? Do you need a hug?
Me: Yes but can you also get me a snack 😖
A: I need payment first. (snuggles me) OK, you've paid, but why can't you get snacks yourself?
Me: Migraine. Can't manage stairs.
A: Oh. What does a headache feel like?
Me: 🤬
#AvisArgot
Avi (running upstairs): What? Do you need a hug?
Me: Yes but can you also get me a snack 😖
A: I need payment first. (snuggles me) OK, you've paid, but why can't you get snacks yourself?
Me: Migraine. Can't manage stairs.
A: Oh. What does a headache feel like?
Me: 🤬
#AvisArgot
![2026
Less Republicans [charmingly misspelled]
More Democrats [also charmingly misspelled]
Less apples in my lunch
More applesauce in my lunch
Less pollution
More greenery
By Avi](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:g7sousssy4agesarxj2vrums/bafkreibikdqlwf2umznkvhhlr6xlolmlubab6meu5ghy2ep2osuvwckffi)
Avi is singing "The Eye of the Aye-Aye" 🤣 #AvisArgot
January 8, 2026 at 12:43 AM
Avi is singing "The Eye of the Aye-Aye" 🤣 #AvisArgot
"Those fireworks really made me think of philosophy."
"Oh?"
"We rise up as we age, explode when we die, then wither away!"
😳 #AvisArgot
"Oh?"
"We rise up as we age, explode when we die, then wither away!"
😳 #AvisArgot
January 1, 2026 at 6:17 PM
"Those fireworks really made me think of philosophy."
"Oh?"
"We rise up as we age, explode when we die, then wither away!"
😳 #AvisArgot
"Oh?"
"We rise up as we age, explode when we die, then wither away!"
😳 #AvisArgot
Me: 🎶 Wouldn't it be nice if we were older… 🎶
Avi: Bleh. You have to pay taxes, pay bills, get a job…
Leo: YOU SAID THE J-WORD
#AvisArgot #LeosLanguage
Avi: Bleh. You have to pay taxes, pay bills, get a job…
Leo: YOU SAID THE J-WORD
#AvisArgot #LeosLanguage
December 8, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Me: 🎶 Wouldn't it be nice if we were older… 🎶
Avi: Bleh. You have to pay taxes, pay bills, get a job…
Leo: YOU SAID THE J-WORD
#AvisArgot #LeosLanguage
Avi: Bleh. You have to pay taxes, pay bills, get a job…
Leo: YOU SAID THE J-WORD
#AvisArgot #LeosLanguage
So Leo is currently giving me the silent treatment (long story; parenting a 13yo isn't for the weak). After a tense morning, he stomped out the door to catch the bus.
At which point Avi, with perfect timing, said, "Imagine how grumpy he'll be when you have to wake him up for high school!" #AvisArgot
At which point Avi, with perfect timing, said, "Imagine how grumpy he'll be when you have to wake him up for high school!" #AvisArgot
December 8, 2025 at 12:54 PM
So Leo is currently giving me the silent treatment (long story; parenting a 13yo isn't for the weak). After a tense morning, he stomped out the door to catch the bus.
At which point Avi, with perfect timing, said, "Imagine how grumpy he'll be when you have to wake him up for high school!" #AvisArgot
At which point Avi, with perfect timing, said, "Imagine how grumpy he'll be when you have to wake him up for high school!" #AvisArgot
Avi, to Leo, describing my reaction to Leo's nonsense: "Momma said in her weak voice, 'leeeeoooooo'" #AvisArgot
December 7, 2025 at 1:58 AM
Avi, to Leo, describing my reaction to Leo's nonsense: "Momma said in her weak voice, 'leeeeoooooo'" #AvisArgot
I came up behind Avi and said "boo" but he didn't react a bit. "I don't think you're scared enough of me." "Why would I be scared of my one and only mother?" #AvisArgot
December 6, 2025 at 1:48 AM
I came up behind Avi and said "boo" but he didn't react a bit. "I don't think you're scared enough of me." "Why would I be scared of my one and only mother?" #AvisArgot