We're all curled up around the TV with NBC News on. They put up a Georgia Senate graphic and my 14yo said, "Ossoff got LOOKS, man." #LeosLanguage
November 4, 2026 at 12:07 AM
We're all curled up around the TV with NBC News on. They put up a Georgia Senate graphic and my 14yo said, "Ossoff got LOOKS, man." #LeosLanguage
Leo is complaining that "Blexas" sounds like an Organization XIII member #KingdomHearts #LeosLanguage #Decision26
November 4, 2026 at 3:05 AM
Leo is complaining that "Blexas" sounds like an Organization XIII member #KingdomHearts #LeosLanguage #Decision26
Leo, who's dressed as the Grim Reaper this year (with Avi as a ghost of course), saw a bunch of kids out trick-or-treating who were running across the street without looking both ways and said, "Ugh, I don't wanna work overtime on Halloween." #LeosLanguage
October 31, 2026 at 11:25 PM
Leo, who's dressed as the Grim Reaper this year (with Avi as a ghost of course), saw a bunch of kids out trick-or-treating who were running across the street without looking both ways and said, "Ugh, I don't wanna work overtime on Halloween." #LeosLanguage
Me: Man, Trump is obsessed with penises!
Leo: Hey, thanks for exclaiming that during dinner, Mom.
Avi: Yeah. Real thanks.
#LeosLanguage #AvisArgot
Leo: Hey, thanks for exclaiming that during dinner, Mom.
Avi: Yeah. Real thanks.
#LeosLanguage #AvisArgot
Trump: Arnold Palmer was all man. This man was strong and tough. And I refuse to say it, but when he took showers with the other pros, they came out of there and said, 'Oh my god. That's unbelievable.'
October 28, 2026 at 10:11 PM
Me: Man, Trump is obsessed with penises!
Leo: Hey, thanks for exclaiming that during dinner, Mom.
Avi: Yeah. Real thanks.
#LeosLanguage #AvisArgot
Leo: Hey, thanks for exclaiming that during dinner, Mom.
Avi: Yeah. Real thanks.
#LeosLanguage #AvisArgot
"All I do is bounce on top of you all day and stress you out, and then you yell at me for no apparent reason!" (Yes, he's being intentionally ironic.) #LeosLanguage
October 17, 2026 at 5:44 PM
"All I do is bounce on top of you all day and stress you out, and then you yell at me for no apparent reason!" (Yes, he's being intentionally ironic.) #LeosLanguage
Me: Are all the girls in this game dressed in boobie clothes with short skirts?!
Leo: Oh. Yeah. But if you think this character is sexist, you should see [a different female character].
#LeosLanguage #FireEmblemFortunesWeave
Leo: Oh. Yeah. But if you think this character is sexist, you should see [a different female character].
#LeosLanguage #FireEmblemFortunesWeave
October 13, 2026 at 9:53 PM
Me: Are all the girls in this game dressed in boobie clothes with short skirts?!
Leo: Oh. Yeah. But if you think this character is sexist, you should see [a different female character].
#LeosLanguage #FireEmblemFortunesWeave
Leo: Oh. Yeah. But if you think this character is sexist, you should see [a different female character].
#LeosLanguage #FireEmblemFortunesWeave
ODE TO A MOTHER WHO DOESN'T GIVE HER LEO ENOUGH SNUGGLES
Mom
She's okay, I guess
Know what would make her better?
More snuggles
#LeosLanguage
(I give him SO MANY SNUGGLES. But at the moment, he's trying to use "more snuggles" as a way to evade his homework.)
Mom
She's okay, I guess
Know what would make her better?
More snuggles
#LeosLanguage
(I give him SO MANY SNUGGLES. But at the moment, he's trying to use "more snuggles" as a way to evade his homework.)
October 5, 2026 at 12:41 AM
ODE TO A MOTHER WHO DOESN'T GIVE HER LEO ENOUGH SNUGGLES
Mom
She's okay, I guess
Know what would make her better?
More snuggles
#LeosLanguage
(I give him SO MANY SNUGGLES. But at the moment, he's trying to use "more snuggles" as a way to evade his homework.)
Mom
She's okay, I guess
Know what would make her better?
More snuggles
#LeosLanguage
(I give him SO MANY SNUGGLES. But at the moment, he's trying to use "more snuggles" as a way to evade his homework.)
(Leo was fantasizing about a future in which he has kids & I come live in his house to take care of them.)
Me: But what if your spouse doesn't like me?
Leo (offended): You're a COOL MOM. If my spouse doesn't like you then there's something wrong with them. I'd be looking into divorce.
#LeosLanguage
Me: But what if your spouse doesn't like me?
Leo (offended): You're a COOL MOM. If my spouse doesn't like you then there's something wrong with them. I'd be looking into divorce.
#LeosLanguage
September 30, 2026 at 2:16 AM
(Leo was fantasizing about a future in which he has kids & I come live in his house to take care of them.)
Me: But what if your spouse doesn't like me?
Leo (offended): You're a COOL MOM. If my spouse doesn't like you then there's something wrong with them. I'd be looking into divorce.
#LeosLanguage
Me: But what if your spouse doesn't like me?
Leo (offended): You're a COOL MOM. If my spouse doesn't like you then there's something wrong with them. I'd be looking into divorce.
#LeosLanguage
He then started spouting all kinds of pretend 1960s businessman lingo in a transatlantic accent. And then he TOLD ME it was a transatlantic accent. I asked how the hell he knows that; it's from the Dropout shows he watches.
I think we're safe from toxic masculinity for now.
#LeosLanguage
I think we're safe from toxic masculinity for now.
#LeosLanguage
August 11, 2026 at 1:50 PM
He then started spouting all kinds of pretend 1960s businessman lingo in a transatlantic accent. And then he TOLD ME it was a transatlantic accent. I asked how the hell he knows that; it's from the Dropout shows he watches.
I think we're safe from toxic masculinity for now.
#LeosLanguage
I think we're safe from toxic masculinity for now.
#LeosLanguage
Leo is unloading the dishwasher (which according to him makes him an indentured servant) and pulled out a spider strainer. He was like, "What is this, a yarmulke on a stick?" (It does look exactly like the little filigree kippah I wear to most services…) #LeosLanguage
August 6, 2026 at 9:45 PM
Leo is unloading the dishwasher (which according to him makes him an indentured servant) and pulled out a spider strainer. He was like, "What is this, a yarmulke on a stick?" (It does look exactly like the little filigree kippah I wear to most services…) #LeosLanguage
Me: Did you brush teeth and put on deodorant?
Leo: Yeah!
Me: You sure?
Leo: Yeah.
Me: Sometimes when you say you've put on deodorant, it turns out you've lied to me.
Leo: …I'll go upstairs and put it on.
#LeosLanguage
Leo: Yeah!
Me: You sure?
Leo: Yeah.
Me: Sometimes when you say you've put on deodorant, it turns out you've lied to me.
Leo: …I'll go upstairs and put it on.
#LeosLanguage
July 21, 2026 at 11:30 AM
Me: Did you brush teeth and put on deodorant?
Leo: Yeah!
Me: You sure?
Leo: Yeah.
Me: Sometimes when you say you've put on deodorant, it turns out you've lied to me.
Leo: …I'll go upstairs and put it on.
#LeosLanguage
Leo: Yeah!
Me: You sure?
Leo: Yeah.
Me: Sometimes when you say you've put on deodorant, it turns out you've lied to me.
Leo: …I'll go upstairs and put it on.
#LeosLanguage
(Scene: me and the kids have just finished running around the house like madmen throwing together a lunch for Avi because Dan didn't leave one for me to send with Avi; we're now screeching tires to the camp bus stop)
Leo: Man, Dad's gonna get an earful. …Well. An eyeful.
#LeosLanguage
Leo: Man, Dad's gonna get an earful. …Well. An eyeful.
#LeosLanguage
July 16, 2026 at 12:20 PM
(Scene: me and the kids have just finished running around the house like madmen throwing together a lunch for Avi because Dan didn't leave one for me to send with Avi; we're now screeching tires to the camp bus stop)
Leo: Man, Dad's gonna get an earful. …Well. An eyeful.
#LeosLanguage
Leo: Man, Dad's gonna get an earful. …Well. An eyeful.
#LeosLanguage
Leo: Why is there suddenly an outbreak of that parasite?
Me: Because—
Leo: Wait, why did I even ask, it's RFK
#LeosLanguage
Me: Because—
Leo: Wait, why did I even ask, it's RFK
#LeosLanguage
July 15, 2026 at 12:08 PM
Leo: Why is there suddenly an outbreak of that parasite?
Me: Because—
Leo: Wait, why did I even ask, it's RFK
#LeosLanguage
Me: Because—
Leo: Wait, why did I even ask, it's RFK
#LeosLanguage
Me: I told you I'd meet you in front! You weren't listening, per usual.
Leo: Yeah, we weren't. I thought Avi was listening!
Avi: I thought Leo was listening!
(repeat ad infinitum)
#LeosLanguage #AvisArgot
Leo: Yeah, we weren't. I thought Avi was listening!
Avi: I thought Leo was listening!
(repeat ad infinitum)
#LeosLanguage #AvisArgot
March 18, 2026 at 9:54 PM
Me: I told you I'd meet you in front! You weren't listening, per usual.
Leo: Yeah, we weren't. I thought Avi was listening!
Avi: I thought Leo was listening!
(repeat ad infinitum)
#LeosLanguage #AvisArgot
Leo: Yeah, we weren't. I thought Avi was listening!
Avi: I thought Leo was listening!
(repeat ad infinitum)
#LeosLanguage #AvisArgot
Me: Leo, LEAVE HIM ALONE.
Leo: I didn't do anything — well, that's a lie, that's a big fat lie.
#LeosLanguage
Leo: I didn't do anything — well, that's a lie, that's a big fat lie.
#LeosLanguage
March 18, 2026 at 1:21 AM
Me: Leo, LEAVE HIM ALONE.
Leo: I didn't do anything — well, that's a lie, that's a big fat lie.
#LeosLanguage
Leo: I didn't do anything — well, that's a lie, that's a big fat lie.
#LeosLanguage
Me: Leo, you gotta eat more than sno-cones. They're just sugar water.
Leo: And artificial flavors! And FDA-approved dyes!
#LeosLanguage
Leo: And artificial flavors! And FDA-approved dyes!
#LeosLanguage
March 17, 2026 at 2:11 AM
Me: Leo, you gotta eat more than sno-cones. They're just sugar water.
Leo: And artificial flavors! And FDA-approved dyes!
#LeosLanguage
Leo: And artificial flavors! And FDA-approved dyes!
#LeosLanguage
L: I don't WANT to go to taekwondo!!
Me: You actually don't get a vote.
L: So this isn't representative??
Me: No, this isn't a democracy.
L: …COMMUNISM!!! GO BACK TO THE SOVIET UNION!!!
#LeosLanguage
Me: You actually don't get a vote.
L: So this isn't representative??
Me: No, this isn't a democracy.
L: …COMMUNISM!!! GO BACK TO THE SOVIET UNION!!!
#LeosLanguage
February 23, 2026 at 10:44 PM
L: I don't WANT to go to taekwondo!!
Me: You actually don't get a vote.
L: So this isn't representative??
Me: No, this isn't a democracy.
L: …COMMUNISM!!! GO BACK TO THE SOVIET UNION!!!
#LeosLanguage
Me: You actually don't get a vote.
L: So this isn't representative??
Me: No, this isn't a democracy.
L: …COMMUNISM!!! GO BACK TO THE SOVIET UNION!!!
#LeosLanguage
"An AI can never replace my deceitful spirit!!" #LeosLanguage
February 5, 2026 at 10:35 PM
"An AI can never replace my deceitful spirit!!" #LeosLanguage
"Bro, I'm trying to industrialize!!" –Leo on a Discord call with his video-game brochacho as they play #Satisfactory (www.satisfactorygame.com) together #LeosLanguage
Home - Satisfactory Game
www.satisfactorygame.com
January 19, 2026 at 7:01 PM
"Bro, I'm trying to industrialize!!" –Leo on a Discord call with his video-game brochacho as they play #Satisfactory (www.satisfactorygame.com) together #LeosLanguage
Leo: Feeling bad in my body is torture!! It's like you don't even know I have anxiety!!
Me: Leo, I also have anxiety.
Leo: Over what??
Me: *dark chuckle*
Leo: All right, fair point.
#LeosLanguage
Me: Leo, I also have anxiety.
Leo: Over what??
Me: *dark chuckle*
Leo: All right, fair point.
#LeosLanguage
January 10, 2026 at 2:37 PM
Leo: Feeling bad in my body is torture!! It's like you don't even know I have anxiety!!
Me: Leo, I also have anxiety.
Leo: Over what??
Me: *dark chuckle*
Leo: All right, fair point.
#LeosLanguage
Me: Leo, I also have anxiety.
Leo: Over what??
Me: *dark chuckle*
Leo: All right, fair point.
#LeosLanguage
Me: Oh Leo, I have to let you know, I'm getting RSVPs for your Bar Mitzvah, and you know your old friend who we called ? The RSVP said .
Leo: Huh!
Me: So I think he's a boy now.
Leo: Good for him!
#LeosLanguage
Leo: Huh!
Me: So I think he's a boy now.
Leo: Good for him!
#LeosLanguage
January 5, 2026 at 10:18 PM
Me: Oh Leo, I have to let you know, I'm getting RSVPs for your Bar Mitzvah, and you know your old friend who we called ? The RSVP said .
Leo: Huh!
Me: So I think he's a boy now.
Leo: Good for him!
#LeosLanguage
Leo: Huh!
Me: So I think he's a boy now.
Leo: Good for him!
#LeosLanguage
Re: mosquitoes: "For once in life, females are the toxic ones." #LeosLanguage
December 28, 2025 at 1:28 PM
Re: mosquitoes: "For once in life, females are the toxic ones." #LeosLanguage
Me: 🎶 Wouldn't it be nice if we were older… 🎶
Avi: Bleh. You have to pay taxes, pay bills, get a job…
Leo: YOU SAID THE J-WORD
#AvisArgot #LeosLanguage
Avi: Bleh. You have to pay taxes, pay bills, get a job…
Leo: YOU SAID THE J-WORD
#AvisArgot #LeosLanguage
December 8, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Me: 🎶 Wouldn't it be nice if we were older… 🎶
Avi: Bleh. You have to pay taxes, pay bills, get a job…
Leo: YOU SAID THE J-WORD
#AvisArgot #LeosLanguage
Avi: Bleh. You have to pay taxes, pay bills, get a job…
Leo: YOU SAID THE J-WORD
#AvisArgot #LeosLanguage
Leo said the two things that are bad about having me as a mom are:
1) "you hate the cold and think 55° is jacket weather"
2) "you hate violent imagination play"
Those are both true; I'll take my lumps.
#LeosLanguage
1) "you hate the cold and think 55° is jacket weather"
2) "you hate violent imagination play"
Those are both true; I'll take my lumps.
#LeosLanguage
December 6, 2025 at 3:27 AM
Leo said the two things that are bad about having me as a mom are:
1) "you hate the cold and think 55° is jacket weather"
2) "you hate violent imagination play"
Those are both true; I'll take my lumps.
#LeosLanguage
1) "you hate the cold and think 55° is jacket weather"
2) "you hate violent imagination play"
Those are both true; I'll take my lumps.
#LeosLanguage
Me: You can have a turn in half an hour.
Leo: HALF AN HOUR?! I'll be old by then!
Me: What does that make me??
Leo: It makes you DEAD.
#LeosLanguage
Leo: HALF AN HOUR?! I'll be old by then!
Me: What does that make me??
Leo: It makes you DEAD.
#LeosLanguage
November 21, 2025 at 10:07 PM
Me: You can have a turn in half an hour.
Leo: HALF AN HOUR?! I'll be old by then!
Me: What does that make me??
Leo: It makes you DEAD.
#LeosLanguage
Leo: HALF AN HOUR?! I'll be old by then!
Me: What does that make me??
Leo: It makes you DEAD.
#LeosLanguage