Dorothy Parker to Robert Benchley, December 31, 1929. Happy New Year!
December 31, 2023 at 8:29 PM
Dorothy Parker to Robert Benchley, December 31, 1929. Happy New Year!
I would 100% subscribe to the Parker-Benchley podcast
The Algonquin Round Table were drunks and Communists but it’s important that we in the podcast community honor them as the first podcasters. Intermittently funny, jobs that let them dick around all afternoon, no audience to speak of. 🫡
October 26, 2025 at 6:11 PM
I would 100% subscribe to the Parker-Benchley podcast
Peter Benchley: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the scary shark
Benchley: ok so what if there was a shark
Benchley: and what if the shark
Benchley: ATE PEOPLE!!!
King: what?!?!? no!!!
Koontz: that's scary!!
King: that's REAL scary!
Benchley: ok so what if there was a shark
Benchley: and what if the shark
Benchley: ATE PEOPLE!!!
King: what?!?!? no!!!
Koontz: that's scary!!
King: that's REAL scary!
May 1, 2026 at 2:16 PM
Peter Benchley: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the scary shark
Benchley: ok so what if there was a shark
Benchley: and what if the shark
Benchley: ATE PEOPLE!!!
King: what?!?!? no!!!
Koontz: that's scary!!
King: that's REAL scary!
Benchley: ok so what if there was a shark
Benchley: and what if the shark
Benchley: ATE PEOPLE!!!
King: what?!?!? no!!!
Koontz: that's scary!!
King: that's REAL scary!
Benchley: i hope that you've all realized now that we should work to preserve the species so our children and our childrens children can also enjoy sharks, because sharks are good
Benchley: not like the giant squid
Benchley: which is pure evil
Benchley: fuck them squids
Benchley: not like the giant squid
Benchley: which is pure evil
Benchley: fuck them squids
May 1, 2026 at 2:35 PM
Benchley: i hope that you've all realized now that we should work to preserve the species so our children and our childrens children can also enjoy sharks, because sharks are good
Benchley: not like the giant squid
Benchley: which is pure evil
Benchley: fuck them squids
Benchley: not like the giant squid
Benchley: which is pure evil
Benchley: fuck them squids
Benchley: i want you all to know that i'm dedicating myself to sharks and shark research
Benchley: in the hopes that i can, in some small way, undo the damage that i've done to shark reputation
Benchley: i'm sorry sharks
Benchley: you're uncanceled
Benchley: in the hopes that i can, in some small way, undo the damage that i've done to shark reputation
Benchley: i'm sorry sharks
Benchley: you're uncanceled
May 1, 2026 at 2:24 PM
Benchley: i want you all to know that i'm dedicating myself to sharks and shark research
Benchley: in the hopes that i can, in some small way, undo the damage that i've done to shark reputation
Benchley: i'm sorry sharks
Benchley: you're uncanceled
Benchley: in the hopes that i can, in some small way, undo the damage that i've done to shark reputation
Benchley: i'm sorry sharks
Benchley: you're uncanceled
That man was Peter Benchley
My husband was wearing a Jaws shirt at pretty empty Duluth Trading Co several years ago and a man appeared from the racks of sturdy man pants to say “Did you know Peter Benchley regretted writing that?” before fading back into the flannels.
June 22, 2025 at 2:24 PM
That man was Peter Benchley
Benchley: we don't think about the number of things everyday that rely on sharks
Benchley: why, there's a little shark in your cigarette lighter
Benchley: or in your pencil clip
Benchley: why, i could name thousands of everyday uses for sharks!
Benchley: why, there's a little shark in your cigarette lighter
Benchley: or in your pencil clip
Benchley: why, i could name thousands of everyday uses for sharks!
May 1, 2026 at 2:30 PM
Benchley: we don't think about the number of things everyday that rely on sharks
Benchley: why, there's a little shark in your cigarette lighter
Benchley: or in your pencil clip
Benchley: why, i could name thousands of everyday uses for sharks!
Benchley: why, there's a little shark in your cigarette lighter
Benchley: or in your pencil clip
Benchley: why, i could name thousands of everyday uses for sharks!
Benchley: that's right, this shark is really mean. so watch out!
Barker: huh ok i got a question
Barker: can the shark go on land
Benchley: what? no!
Benchley: it's a shark
Barker: hm yeah
Barker: yeah i think i'll be fine
Barker: huh ok i got a question
Barker: can the shark go on land
Benchley: what? no!
Benchley: it's a shark
Barker: hm yeah
Barker: yeah i think i'll be fine
May 1, 2026 at 2:18 PM
Benchley: that's right, this shark is really mean. so watch out!
Barker: huh ok i got a question
Barker: can the shark go on land
Benchley: what? no!
Benchley: it's a shark
Barker: hm yeah
Barker: yeah i think i'll be fine
Barker: huh ok i got a question
Barker: can the shark go on land
Benchley: what? no!
Benchley: it's a shark
Barker: hm yeah
Barker: yeah i think i'll be fine
Benchley: you see fellas, the scientific principle of a shark is to absorb chum and then to release it
Benchley: that's all there is to it
Benchley: you see all shark action depends on elasticity
Benchley: that's all there is to it
Benchley: you see all shark action depends on elasticity
May 1, 2026 at 2:27 PM
Benchley: you see fellas, the scientific principle of a shark is to absorb chum and then to release it
Benchley: that's all there is to it
Benchley: you see all shark action depends on elasticity
Benchley: that's all there is to it
Benchley: you see all shark action depends on elasticity
Happy New Year from Dorothy Parker (and me).
December 31, 2024 at 2:57 PM
Happy New Year from Dorothy Parker (and me).
Benchley: what have i done? only now in this late hour do i realize the error of my ways
Benchley: i've done wrong by sharks
Benchley: they aren't actually remorseless killing machines
Bechley: they're actually a perfectly natural part of the ecosystem and also they're beautiful
Benchley: i've done wrong by sharks
Benchley: they aren't actually remorseless killing machines
Bechley: they're actually a perfectly natural part of the ecosystem and also they're beautiful
May 1, 2026 at 2:23 PM
Benchley: what have i done? only now in this late hour do i realize the error of my ways
Benchley: i've done wrong by sharks
Benchley: they aren't actually remorseless killing machines
Bechley: they're actually a perfectly natural part of the ecosystem and also they're beautiful
Benchley: i've done wrong by sharks
Benchley: they aren't actually remorseless killing machines
Bechley: they're actually a perfectly natural part of the ecosystem and also they're beautiful
Watching Jaws is watching a masterpiece, reading any Peter Benchley book is like what the fuck Pete
What are your favorite adaptations that transcend their source material?
Blade Runner springs to mind
Blade Runner springs to mind
holy shit the vampire lestat
July 20, 2026 at 2:45 AM
Watching Jaws is watching a masterpiece, reading any Peter Benchley book is like what the fuck Pete
okay who did this?
October 11, 2025 at 9:59 AM
okay who did this?
A witty title writer (Robert Benchley here) could enhance a film enormously and, despite declarations that titles should be eliminated, most people enjoyed a well-written card.
October 1, 2026 at 10:50 PM
A witty title writer (Robert Benchley here) could enhance a film enormously and, despite declarations that titles should be eliminated, most people enjoyed a well-written card.
Okay, maaaaybe Robert Benchley.
April 29, 2025 at 12:38 AM
Okay, maaaaybe Robert Benchley.
With Robert Benchley a respectable second.
July 21, 2025 at 2:10 AM
With Robert Benchley a respectable second.
Benchley: i hope now that you know more about sharks you'll see that there's nothing to fear about them
Shelley: i was never scared of them
Benchley: they're actually very friendly and intelligent creatures, and a part of god's divine plan for this big blue marble we call earth
Shelley: i was never scared of them
Benchley: they're actually very friendly and intelligent creatures, and a part of god's divine plan for this big blue marble we call earth
May 1, 2026 at 2:32 PM
Benchley: i hope now that you know more about sharks you'll see that there's nothing to fear about them
Shelley: i was never scared of them
Benchley: they're actually very friendly and intelligent creatures, and a part of god's divine plan for this big blue marble we call earth
Shelley: i was never scared of them
Benchley: they're actually very friendly and intelligent creatures, and a part of god's divine plan for this big blue marble we call earth
Robert Benchley. Always the perfect theater date.
January 19, 2024 at 5:36 PM
Robert Benchley. Always the perfect theater date.
In the movie Jaws, the TV reporter is played by Peter Benchley, the author of the book.
January 26, 2025 at 12:00 AM
In the movie Jaws, the TV reporter is played by Peter Benchley, the author of the book.
fun fact: that was actually Peter Benchley
June 22, 2025 at 2:24 PM
fun fact: that was actually Peter Benchley
June 20, 2025 at 6:49 PM