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@jimthevampire.bsky.social

This is from my so called comedy WIP Alan: The Breaking of James Bigbridge. It is in fact from the beginning:

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ALAN
The Breaking of James Bigbridge

Part One: The Universe

There is an assumption that the Universe is infinite. That without constraint it will grow infinitely until all momentum is lost, until exhaust atoms will decay and end. These assumptions are wrong, dangerous and not to be trusted.
The Universe is in fact incredibly finite, as any species unfortunate enough to be on the far edge of it will tell you. And we haven’t even gotten to what happens to those in the middle!
Our story starts at the furthest edge, the precipice of the Universe, the tipping point if you will, the tipping point if you won’t either. It makes no difference, it starts where it starts. Why it starts there is a matter that science can debate, but ultimately it comes down to the author being bored. It’s his book, it will start where he says.
The great civilisation of Narf is imperilled. It would be safer to say that the great civilisation of Narf was living out its last few days. Yes, sadly, or not, the quiet, peace loving Narfians were on the brink of destruction as forces of gravity yanked their solar system into an abyss

December 31, 2025 at 8:38 AM

ジョー

@johkid2026.bsky.social

BigBridge

May 30, 2026 at 3:17 AM

Julia Grant Reed

@juliareedwa.bsky.social

Lets gooooo #BigBridge!

Gov. Bob Ferguson @governorferguson.bsky.social · Jul 1

The Interstate Bridge Replacement Program achieved a major milestone today, completing its federal environmental review.

A new Interstate bridge is essential to Washington and Oregon. It’s critical for our economy, public safety, and the thousands of good-paying jobs it will provide.

July 1, 2026 at 9:14 PM

🫜 Jim the Vampire 🫜

@jimthevampire.bsky.social

Awesome New background! Wishing you all an Awesome New Year 🎉🎉🎉

Today's snip is brought to you from the Human Expansionist Imperial Navy. I do hope you enjoy:

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Part Two: A James Bigbridge

In the beginning these hunts had been fun. Now, he was just bored.
That was unusual. His favourite sport was hunting the greasy Narfian slug ships and now he had Infinus to do it in. She was fast, she was sleek, aerodynamic in a way that didn’t matter in space, but in starship racing circles was prized. Three hulls, deflector shields, missile launchers, torpedo tubes, forward and rear laser cannons that sent a thawp sound through the hull as they fired.
In short, the Infinus was everything that the slug ships weren’t.
He was watching the Alien vessel slop its way through the void ahead, it’s weird tail flicking back and forth as it tried to gain velocity. It was trying to go to UltraLight! With a blap, by which he obviously meant thwap of a cannon, it would never move again.
Yet he couldn’t bring himself to fire.
He propped an elbow on the arm rest of the luxurious blue tinged Narf leather chair, the memory foam cushioning the impact as he rested his chin on his hand. He grumbled, “This is too easy.”
The gunnery officer whose name he’d never bothered and would never bother to learn the name of spoke out in an irritating grating wheeze, “Shall we destroy the scum sir

January 1, 2026 at 8:35 AM

🫜 Jim the Vampire 🫜

@jimthevampire.bsky.social

Done this bit before but it's the only one I have that is close. From Alan, using passion in place of zeal:

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Part Two: A James Bigbridge

In the beginning these hunts had been fun. Now, he was just bored.
That was unusual. Hunting the greasy Narfian slug ships was his passion. And now he had Infinus to do it in. She was fast, she was sleek, aerodynamic in a way that didn’t matter in space, but in starship racing circles was prized. Three hulls, deflector shields, missile launchers, torpedo tubes, forward and rear laser cannons that sent a thawp sound through the hull as they fired.
In short, the Infinus was everything that the slug ships weren’t.
He was watching the Alien vessel slop its way through the void ahead, it’s weird tail flicking back and forth as it tried to gain velocity. It was trying to go to UltraLight! With a blap, by which he obviously meant thwap of a cannon, it would never move again.
Yet he couldn’t bring himself to fire.
He propped an elbow on the arm rest of the luxurious blue tinged Narf leather chair, the memory foam cushioning the impact as he rested his chin on his hand. He grumbled, “This is too easy.”

February 1, 2026 at 8:43 AM

🫜 Jim the Vampire 🫜

@jimthevampire.bsky.social

If it makes you feel any better the man on the chair is a James Bigbridge and Alan is Narfian. Alan is...the hero...question mark ??? She certainly isn't going to lay down and die for some dirty humans to turn her beautiful pale blue skin into a seat anyway!

December 31, 2025 at 9:00 AM

🫜 Jim the Vampire 🫜

@jimthevampire.bsky.social

Sorry, this is long and very new from my new wip called Alan: The Breaking of James Bigbridge. 'Alan' is the one in the cage, James is the one with the Primate smile.

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He stopped in front of her cage, tilted his head to one side, a predator assessing cornered prey. White teeth shone behind thin lips, the primate smile. Over confident. It opened its maw wider, a flash of pink darting behind its teeth as language came out.
The translation flea in her ear took a micron to translate on the fly, “So, they tell me you are female.”
She returned the smile, “You would like to check?”
His eyes widened momentarily. He would like to check. His mouth moved again, “Oh, I don’t think that I can trust you so close to my unmentionables just yet my dear. We barely know each other.”
She maintained the smile, “Then we should aim to become closer. I’m sure I could be of great use to such a” what on Narf was the word? “troubled, no handsome soul.”
He stepped closer, tempting her to reach through the bars. Instead she said three words. In that instant she watched his face change, from smile, to confusion finally settling on fear.
“Rec, lights out.”
The tinny voice crackled back at her, “Yes Captain,” as the room was plunged into darkness. The room door closed with a resounding boom, cutting off the fading red alert lights from the corridor as the cage doors slid open at the whisper of her command. The ships Enhanced Artificial Intelligence system was hers.
Within a moment, he was in her arms. She could feel his pathetic struggle. His gasps for air. She locked her lips on to his, whispering, “I shall taste your last breath.”
He was panicked, flailing his arms, trying to pull away. She laughed. “From the clays of home, to the dirt of your Earth I have come for you James Bigbridge.” Something in his chest popped, a wet and sickening sound, but still her grip tightened. She continued, breathlessly, “And I shall have you all.”
The last breath came, full of copper and stinking of fear. She licked her lips and released him, hearing the thud as his lifeless corpse hit the alien metal surface.
“You can turn the lights on now Rec. And release the gas.”

December 17, 2025 at 8:36 AM

Akiyan（ゆっくり巡回中です🐌）

@ahandicap-art.bsky.social

toshi-bigbridgeさん✨

お早う御座います☀️いつも有難う御座います🙏ラーメン可愛いですね♥️

December 5, 2024 at 10:05 PM

🫜 Jim the Vampire 🫜

@jimthevampire.bsky.social

Good question, the main one "Statues Erode" is a lived in Sci-Fi, think industrial feels, grubby and claustrophobic.

The second "Alan: The Breaking of James Bigbridge" is a sci-fi comedy where much is exaggerated, over the top, just for the fun of it.

♥️

January 1, 2026 at 10:08 PM

Akiyan（ゆっくり巡回中です🐌）

@ahandicap-art.bsky.social

toshi-bigbridgeさん✨はじめまして☺️共感して頂き凄く嬉しいです🫶素敵な出会いに感謝です🍀これからも宜しくお願いいたします🤗

December 3, 2024 at 5:41 AM

🫜 Jim the Vampire 🫜

@jimthevampire.bsky.social

He he thanks Carly. I wanted to use the traditional red on white slasher movie vibe 😂

The only one who can stop her is A James Bigbridge. Not the one that she murdered a scene ago of course, that James is too dead to stop her 😁

January 4, 2026 at 4:37 PM

🫜 Jim the Vampire 🫜

@jimthevampire.bsky.social

This might actually be a perfect fit for my slightly more off kilter "Alan: The Breaking of James Bigbridge" tale. That thing is so obscure anyway, it wouldn't be out of place and it wouldn't matter if it was 😂

February 14, 2026 at 11:22 PM

🫜 Jim the Vampire 🫜

@jimthevampire.bsky.social

The Rec was the hardest one 😂 not chaos, not really, but lawful...doesn't quite fit either.

James, James and James haven't been exposed to the world yet. They've hidden in my head for many years. More on this as that story starts to tell itself 😁 it's called Alan: The Breaking of James Bigbridge

December 16, 2025 at 11:54 PM

🫜 Jim the Vampire 🫜

@jimthevampire.bsky.social

Ah god damn I'm gonna screw this up so badly 😂

Originally Alan was supposed to be just "the bad guy" now I kinda want her to win! But there is more than A James Bigbridge in her path. This is gonna get wildly confusing 😂

For now it suffices to say that she is the main character. Look out James's!

January 2, 2026 at 9:10 PM