#OceanGate #TitanicTourism #SubmersibleFails #LessonNotLearned #ByTheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com In a shocking development that has stunned absolutely no one, the U.S. Coast Guard released a report this week declaring that the catastrophic implosion of the Titan submersible—which killed five wealthy thrill-seekers faster than you can say “Would you like a complimentary snack for your $250,000 voyage?”—was, in fact, “preventable.” “We looked at all the evidence, engineering reports, and the literal warning letters written in all caps with 16 exclamation points,” said Chief Investigator Bob Deepsea.

#IndiaDroneDrama #UkraineConflict #MadeInIndia #SatireNews #ByTheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com In a stunning turn of events that has left arms dealers confused and middle managers at tech firms worldwide weeping into their samosas, Ukrainian investigators have discovered that some components found in Russian drones are apparently “Made in India”. Upon closer inspection, the drone’s GPS module welcomed users with “Namaste”, its starter beep played a Bollywood tune, and the user manual included a recipe for butter chicken.

#ULFAI #DroneZone #ArmyDenial #SatireNews #ByTheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **ULFA(I) Alleges Indian Army Drone Attack—Army Claims Drone Actually Looking For Lost WiFi Signal** In an episode straight out of "Who Flew It Anyway?", ULFA(I) commanders erupted into outrage this week, alleging that their “top-secret” jungle camps were blasted by Indian Army drones. The Army, however, has insisted there was no such drone, no such attack, and, frankly, they can barely keep their office WiFi from dropping.

# Satire #WWIIVeteran #CentenarianNews #UKHistory #ByTheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com UK’s Oldest WWII Veteran, Donald Rose, Dies at 110 – Nation Scrambles to Promote Slightly Younger Guy In breaking news that has left the entire British commonwealth googling “what’s an appropriate age for a war hero?”, the UK’s oldest World War II veteran, Donald Rose, has died at the thoroughly impressive age of 110.