Man Makes Quick Call To Parents So Next Week’s Call To Ask For Money Doesn’t Seem That Bad https://theonion.com/man-makes-quick-call-to-parents-so-next-week-s-call-to-1819578650/
November 3, 2026 at 11:00 PM
Man Makes Quick Call To Parents So Next Week’s Call To Ask For Money Doesn’t Seem That Bad https://theonion.com/man-makes-quick-call-to-parents-so-next-week-s-call-to-1819578650/
He rapes a 13-year-old.
She aborts.
You call her a murderer.
You call him “a troubled young man who made a mistake.”
Your priorities are showing.
She aborts.
You call her a murderer.
You call him “a troubled young man who made a mistake.”
Your priorities are showing.
November 3, 2026 at 6:27 PM
He rapes a 13-year-old.
She aborts.
You call her a murderer.
You call him “a troubled young man who made a mistake.”
Your priorities are showing.
She aborts.
You call her a murderer.
You call him “a troubled young man who made a mistake.”
Your priorities are showing.
Call him the Drain King
November 3, 2026 at 6:38 PM
Call him the Drain King
Call me optimistic.
November 4, 2026 at 12:44 AM
Call me optimistic.
We're unable to take your call now. Please call back later.
November 3, 2026 at 3:26 PM
We're unable to take your call now. Please call back later.
they call me Pumpkin Patches
November 1, 2026 at 6:13 PM
they call me Pumpkin Patches
GOP Sen. Thom Tillis: “To call Ken Paxton 'ethically challenged' is to call Jeffrey Dahmer suffering from an eating disorder.”
November 1, 2026 at 4:29 PM
GOP Sen. Thom Tillis: “To call Ken Paxton 'ethically challenged' is to call Jeffrey Dahmer suffering from an eating disorder.”
I want “too close to call” to become “too embarrassing to discuss.”
November 3, 2026 at 7:50 PM
I want “too close to call” to become “too embarrassing to discuss.”
The vibe on Fox appears to be what you might call funereal.
Brit Hume on Pappas winning New Hampshire: "For us to be able to call that this early, and not a good one for the red team"
(stay for Karoline Leavitt's reaction)
(stay for Karoline Leavitt's reaction)
November 4, 2026 at 1:29 AM
The vibe on Fox appears to be what you might call funereal.
Trump: "We call the United States the House of God"
November 2, 2026 at 7:27 PM
Trump: "We call the United States the House of God"
Going on Cameo to see if I can pay Hayden Christensen to call a bunch of people losers
November 4, 2026 at 1:10 AM
Going on Cameo to see if I can pay Hayden Christensen to call a bunch of people losers
On a personal note, I don't even know what to say. THIS is what we call a mandate.
November 4, 2026 at 5:15 AM
On a personal note, I don't even know what to say. THIS is what we call a mandate.
Mike Rogers is what young people call an NPC🕹️🎮
October 31, 2026 at 10:55 PM
Mike Rogers is what young people call an NPC🕹️🎮
BTW not a bit Trump's about to call into Fox News could be very funny.
November 4, 2026 at 4:58 AM
BTW not a bit Trump's about to call into Fox News could be very funny.
November 3, 2026 at 8:15 PM
call it for Abdul so I can fucking get drunk
November 4, 2026 at 4:07 AM
call it for Abdul so I can fucking get drunk
hahaha look who got the clean-up call after the anderson cooper debacle
November 2, 2026 at 5:59 PM
hahaha look who got the clean-up call after the anderson cooper debacle
Nice call, Canada 🍁
November 4, 2026 at 12:30 AM
Nice call, Canada 🍁
everyone get ready to call your reps and tell them we do NOT want reaching across the aisle, we want justice and accountability!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BREAKING NEWS: DEMOCRATS WIN CONTROL OF THE U.S. HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
November 4, 2026 at 2:52 AM
everyone get ready to call your reps and tell them we do NOT want reaching across the aisle, we want justice and accountability!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My characterization of things at this point is that permission to lib out is still TOO EARLY TO CALL
November 4, 2026 at 1:51 AM
My characterization of things at this point is that permission to lib out is still TOO EARLY TO CALL
The Peggy Flanagan senate call is the FUCKYOUtterman call.
November 4, 2026 at 5:09 AM
The Peggy Flanagan senate call is the FUCKYOUtterman call.
Come on, call Michigan already so I can go to sleep
November 4, 2026 at 6:35 AM
Come on, call Michigan already so I can go to sleep
Problems at the polls? Call @866ourvote.bsky.social
October 31, 2026 at 8:34 PM
Problems at the polls? Call @866ourvote.bsky.social
If this night gets any better they're going to call Florida for Gore.
November 4, 2026 at 3:27 AM
If this night gets any better they're going to call Florida for Gore.
Latinos gonna give Republicans a BIG wake-up call in Texas.
Racism has consequences.
Racism has consequences.
November 4, 2026 at 1:50 AM
Latinos gonna give Republicans a BIG wake-up call in Texas.
Racism has consequences.
Racism has consequences.