finally finished the floors in my home 😮💨
October 18, 2025 at 3:37 AM
finally finished the floors in my home 😮💨
Somehow, after all these years, the sheer vacuousness still floors me.
Trump: I won on groceries. Very simple word, groceries. Like almost, you know, who uses the word. I started using the word. The groceries. When you buy apples, when you buy bacon, when you buy eggs..
December 9, 2024 at 3:51 AM
Somehow, after all these years, the sheer vacuousness still floors me.
gosh my floors are mad at me
August 12, 2026 at 10:43 PM
gosh my floors are mad at me
FBI guy 1: it doesn’t matter what we put on the stakeout van, it can be anything, just say we do floors
FBI guy 2: what kind of floors
FBI guy 1: who gives a shit! all types of floors! get the fuck outta here!
FBI guy 2: what kind of floors
FBI guy 1: who gives a shit! all types of floors! get the fuck outta here!
May 23, 2024 at 5:44 PM
FBI guy 1: it doesn’t matter what we put on the stakeout van, it can be anything, just say we do floors
FBI guy 2: what kind of floors
FBI guy 1: who gives a shit! all types of floors! get the fuck outta here!
FBI guy 2: what kind of floors
FBI guy 1: who gives a shit! all types of floors! get the fuck outta here!
My new house is 95% built.
All it needs is walls, floors, and a roof.
All it needs is walls, floors, and a roof.
May 25, 2026 at 11:07 PM
My new house is 95% built.
All it needs is walls, floors, and a roof.
All it needs is walls, floors, and a roof.
December 1, 2024 at 2:02 AM
just found out someone bought this and renovated it
September 12, 2025 at 7:37 AM
just found out someone bought this and renovated it
State troops sent to Los Angeles by the Trump administration, without the approval of California Gov. Gavin Newsom, were expected to sleep on floors or outdoors, a source told the Chronicle.
‘Wildly underprepared’: National Guard troops seen sleeping on floors in exclusive photos
State troops sent to Los Angeles by the Trump administration, without the approval of California Gov. Gavin Newsom, were expected to sleep on floors or outdoors, a source told the Chronicle.
bit.ly
June 9, 2025 at 6:45 PM
State troops sent to Los Angeles by the Trump administration, without the approval of California Gov. Gavin Newsom, were expected to sleep on floors or outdoors, a source told the Chronicle.
Buy all the dying malls. Upper floors, cheap apartments. Lower floors, cheap rent for whatever niche store or weird art project you wanna open up. Make each of em a little art neighborhood
If you had $77bn you could squander without feeling any consequences whatsoever, what boondoggle would you throw it after?
Meta is shutting down its VR metaverse on June 15th.
March 19, 2026 at 5:00 AM
Buy all the dying malls. Upper floors, cheap apartments. Lower floors, cheap rent for whatever niche store or weird art project you wanna open up. Make each of em a little art neighborhood
The need to invent a cat that only pukes on hard floors.
May 5, 2026 at 7:44 PM
The need to invent a cat that only pukes on hard floors.
Grandapa's elevator is stuck between floors.
REPORTER: Is there an expected timeframe that detainees will stay here? Days, weeks, month?
TRUMP: I'm gonna spend a lot. This is my home state. I love it. I'll spend a lot of time here.
TRUMP: I'm gonna spend a lot. This is my home state. I love it. I'll spend a lot of time here.
July 1, 2025 at 5:30 PM
Grandapa's elevator is stuck between floors.
Strong floors, high gallows
November 30, 2025 at 7:10 PM
Strong floors, high gallows
[through teeth gritted so hard you can hear them snapping from three floors away] oops, welcome to the resistance
“I feel so stupid, guilty, regretful—embarrassed is a huge one. I am absolutely embarrassed that I voted for Trump,” said Anderson, 30.
www.wsj.com/politics/pol...
www.wsj.com/politics/pol...
February 19, 2025 at 2:34 AM
[through teeth gritted so hard you can hear them snapping from three floors away] oops, welcome to the resistance
He’s not fucking Rasputin, wax the floors in his office and don’t tell him, let’s be done with this bullshit already!
April 24, 2026 at 1:18 PM
He’s not fucking Rasputin, wax the floors in his office and don’t tell him, let’s be done with this bullshit already!
Ghislaine Maxwell, a convicted child sex trafficker, gets gardening time, sports, therapy dogs, and spa products in prison.
Migrant children in custody are sleeping on concrete floors without enough food or clean water.
Our priorities are so fucked.
Migrant children in custody are sleeping on concrete floors without enough food or clean water.
Our priorities are so fucked.
February 16, 2026 at 5:57 AM
Ghislaine Maxwell, a convicted child sex trafficker, gets gardening time, sports, therapy dogs, and spa products in prison.
Migrant children in custody are sleeping on concrete floors without enough food or clean water.
Our priorities are so fucked.
Migrant children in custody are sleeping on concrete floors without enough food or clean water.
Our priorities are so fucked.
Pov: im cleaning your floors
September 25, 2026 at 5:10 AM
Pov: im cleaning your floors
Ellie girl is getting the hang of hardwood floors again.
March 14, 2025 at 2:50 PM
Ellie girl is getting the hang of hardwood floors again.
RFK Jr needs to go. Arrested, sent to Samoa to swab hospital floors.
January 28, 2026 at 11:28 PM
RFK Jr needs to go. Arrested, sent to Samoa to swab hospital floors.
Somehow it still floors me 77 million people chose this
April 1, 2026 at 10:36 PM
Somehow it still floors me 77 million people chose this
2 things that bring me joy:
1) Dogs that are overly excited on hardwood floors.
2) Cats that are freaking the fuck out for no reason on hardwood floors.
1) Dogs that are overly excited on hardwood floors.
2) Cats that are freaking the fuck out for no reason on hardwood floors.
May 27, 2025 at 2:08 AM
2 things that bring me joy:
1) Dogs that are overly excited on hardwood floors.
2) Cats that are freaking the fuck out for no reason on hardwood floors.
1) Dogs that are overly excited on hardwood floors.
2) Cats that are freaking the fuck out for no reason on hardwood floors.
Tokyo drift but it's just my cat with the zoomies on laminate floors
January 25, 2025 at 1:54 AM
Tokyo drift but it's just my cat with the zoomies on laminate floors
i will scrub floors for america if necessary
I will immediately resign from my corporate gig and take the attendant pay cut if a future D POTUS offers me a DOJ spot persecuting members of this Administration
Honestly a federal commission with prosecutorial authority paired with stripping immunity from ICE officers would be a huge wombo combo
January 25, 2026 at 6:57 AM
i will scrub floors for america if necessary