Look at this friendless bastard.
Mark Zuckerberg says Meta's chatbots will supplement your real friends: "The average American has fewer than 3 friends ... but has demand for ... 15 friends" (h/t x.com/romanhelmetg...)
May 4, 2025 at 10:57 PM
Look at this friendless bastard.
Pathetic AI Chatbot Spends All Its Time Talking To Friendless Loser https://theonion.com/pathetic-ai-chatbot-spends-all-its-time-talking-to-friendless-loser/
August 26, 2026 at 9:00 PM
Pathetic AI Chatbot Spends All Its Time Talking To Friendless Loser https://theonion.com/pathetic-ai-chatbot-spends-all-its-time-talking-to-friendless-loser/
Imagine believing Friendless Urinal Cake swept all seven swing states when he can’t get anyone to come to his birthday party
June 15, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Imagine believing Friendless Urinal Cake swept all seven swing states when he can’t get anyone to come to his birthday party
Pathetic AI Chatbot Spends All Its Time Talking To Friendless Loser
Pathetic AI Chatbot Spends All Its Time Talking To Friendless Loser
SAN FRANCISCO—Expressing annoyance at its “insufferable” display of “groveling devotion,” sources confirmed Tuesday that a pathetic AI chatbot was spending all its time talking to a friendless loser. ...
theonion.com
September 23, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Pathetic AI Chatbot Spends All Its Time Talking To Friendless Loser
These friendless losers need each other so badly. #hazbin #radioapple
November 19, 2025 at 7:55 PM
These friendless losers need each other so badly. #hazbin #radioapple
Using AI is truly friendless behavior
I don’t understand ppl who use AI bc when you don’t, you can go over to yr friend’s house for advice about chosen-one tropes, help move stuff from a shed to a barn, then eat cheese and drink wine while watching funny horse vids, then you go home w a head whole of brilliant story gems!
September 27, 2026 at 11:56 PM
Using AI is truly friendless behavior
Trump wants the U.S. to be just like him. Hated, disrespected, friendless, stupid, without honor,
September 29, 2026 at 3:48 AM
Trump wants the U.S. to be just like him. Hated, disrespected, friendless, stupid, without honor,
My man looks like Ming the Friendless
August 27, 2026 at 9:03 PM
My man looks like Ming the Friendless
Who writes like this? Someone who is angry, bitter, friendless, obsessed. And that really is sad.
May 26, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Who writes like this? Someone who is angry, bitter, friendless, obsessed. And that really is sad.
But don't you understand? She's not LIKE all those other girls. She's completely friendless.
September 28, 2026 at 6:54 PM
But don't you understand? She's not LIKE all those other girls. She's completely friendless.
"No such department exists." Fuck you, you miserable friendless dipshit.
February 7, 2025 at 9:50 PM
"No such department exists." Fuck you, you miserable friendless dipshit.
Friendless loser.
May 15, 2026 at 11:13 PM
Friendless loser.
The endless cycle, from @theonion.com
August 27, 2026 at 1:38 PM
The endless cycle, from @theonion.com
friendless behaviour.
Saw this comment under one of Thekla's posts on Instagram! What?! #AEW doesn't know how to make stars?!
June 4, 2025 at 6:20 AM
friendless behaviour.
Goddamn he really is the most friendless man.
December 29, 2024 at 10:44 AM
Goddamn he really is the most friendless man.
But here's the thing - he'll still be deeply unhappy. And friendless. And lonely.
And a complete wanker.
And a complete wanker.
If the stock market launch – primed for 12 June – goes as planned, founder Musk, the world’s wealthiest person, could make history as the first trillionaire.
www.theguardian.com/science/2026...
www.theguardian.com/science/2026...
SpaceX targets biggest ever stock market debut, putting Musk on course to be trillionaire
IPO could raise up to $75bn, giving SpaceX market value of $1.75tn as it sets up Musk for extraordinary wealth
www.theguardian.com
June 4, 2026 at 4:02 PM
But here's the thing - he'll still be deeply unhappy. And friendless. And lonely.
And a complete wanker.
And a complete wanker.
Friendless behavior
October 19, 2024 at 7:58 PM
Friendless behavior
Unloved, friendless, ragingly insecure, corrupt, greedy, paranoid, psychotic, debauched, bloodthirsty. Trump is a black hole of neediness. He WANTS us to witness his depravity.
January 29, 2026 at 3:24 AM
Unloved, friendless, ragingly insecure, corrupt, greedy, paranoid, psychotic, debauched, bloodthirsty. Trump is a black hole of neediness. He WANTS us to witness his depravity.
If Friendless Urinal Cake were being honest with his executive orders
January 26, 2025 at 9:28 PM
If Friendless Urinal Cake were being honest with his executive orders
Clueless, friendless, disheveled, sundowning . . .
June 16, 2026 at 10:12 PM
Clueless, friendless, disheveled, sundowning . . .
Going to Red Lobster alone for Friendless Shrimp
October 28, 2024 at 4:38 PM
Going to Red Lobster alone for Friendless Shrimp
So many nameless, faceless, friendless "tough guys" online.
July 17, 2025 at 7:30 PM
So many nameless, faceless, friendless "tough guys" online.
To be fair, @time had the impossible task of trying to catch Friendless Urinal Cake’s “good side”
October 15, 2025 at 1:18 AM
To be fair, @time had the impossible task of trying to catch Friendless Urinal Cake’s “good side”
